Cosmopolitan - Bleeding after anal sex

What ?

Jeez Elon what’s with you attacking ppl
Want to,start a thread on crack on

Fuck sake "good" is meant to say "yoof" and i corrected it twice.

It’s an article about bleeding and tearing and how to minimise that

Ok. Useful information for those who enjoy or want to try anal sex ? I used to think I was a pretty negative about the modern world and the "good" of today, but I've got nothing on you lot who seem to think most young people today no longer experience the thrill of lust for their peers thanks to the internet.

Thank you George Fayne for pointing out the consequences that can arise with anal sex.

The wider context of your objection to the article is that young women are held up to unrealistic and unattainable standards.

Your "contribution" to this is to say that this has never happened to me, but then again I am a rare beauty and all the men that I've had sex, and there have been many, have been eternally thankful for the opportunity to demonstrate me naked just the way nature intended !

If you are having sex with someone who doesn't feel excited about it or consider themselves lucky to have you, then what's they point. Making out that your experience might be uncommon by today's standards and possibly down to your spectacular attractiveness is a bit off.

Have boys changed so much? And this will be teenagers surely? I found young men rather shy and desperate not to cross any consent boundaries or to risk physically hurting you. They were sweet and fumbling back in the 80s.

Jeez Elon
What are you on about ffs
It’s an article about bleeding and tearing and how to minimise that
Nobody was stealth boasting whatever the fuck that means

Just to put this out there: on a very regular basis, my husband gets called in to the emergency department to fix (he's a surgeon) anal/rectal trauma. On both men and women. Gay, straight. From penises or toys, as well as other random foreign objects. Often, repairs result in a temporary colostomy. YES. Pooping in a bag taped to your abdomen. Hopefully, the colostomy can be reversed when the rectum (or colon) is healed, but this isn't always the case... The tissue of the rectum (anus is the term for the opening, very last portion, but penetration often hurts the rectum) is incredibly fragile and delicate.

ANYONE engaging in penetration to the anus has to know that perforation and subsequent surgery is a genuine risk. Informed consent. There is nothing prudish about wanting to preserve your normal anatomy and physiology and women should be empowered to say HELL NO.

@ElonMask what is wrong with reminding girls/young women that they don't have to do anything they don't want to?

Surely that should be foremost in any discussion of sex and sexual practices whether mainstream or niche. Genuine and freely given continuing consent from both parties is the most important consideration.

No one should be made to feel guilty or abnormal for saying no, whatever the reason.

This becomes more important the more risky the activity not less so therefore it is disgraceful that a magazine like cosmopolitan isn't ramming home the consent message.

Each to their own but loved the comment about the guys going first and not a lot of takers hey they might have the best orgasm of their life !!

Where have I said anal sex is unnatural!???

You're making things up now. :D

Elon I want to know why you believe articles on sex education need not contain anything about consent or protection.

I don't understand why me honestly reporting how lots of men behaved when I was young has upset you so much.

I did not exect that behaviour nor seek it out

Surely you should be angry with the young men for behaving that way
Not with me for being honest

Other posters agree that was the same for them
A lot of blokes are lovely but they have to fight against ever more extreme media instruction around what a 'real' man is like and how he treats women.

& if it was a boast it was hardly stealth!

Nothing - your experiences sound very much like mine. I want my DD to have similarly mutually satisfying and enjoyable experiences, not feel coerced into doing things that could damage her for life

Yes, nothing it is what is know round these here parts as a stealth boast. So you think highly of yourself. Just imagine what you would think of a man who went about saying "I'm so attractive that women were just thrilled beyond words to see my cock"

But of course, it's different for them eh ?

Anyway, I don't see how encouraging young people to start their sex lives from the premise that they are god's gift to the opposite sex (like you) is a great idea.

This article is about the practicalities of a sex act you find "unnatural".

Nothing your experience is normal. I just hope things change back before my child grows up, the alternative is sickening.

As someone once said to me "that hole is for things to go down not up."
I stand by that and if anyone saw what comes down mine they certainly wouldn't want to go up it!

But back to the article... when I read Cosmo in the hairdressers now I just despair.

Im going to get told off for telling the truth now, just you wait!

OOOH you thikn highly of yourself etc etc

It was long ago enough that I can look back with some distance though!

She;s aiming it at me louie

I think saying that lots of men I went to bed with were grateful and as a consequence wouldn't have dreamt of telling me to shave all my pubes off / have a cock so deep I puked / slapping me or "accidentally" trying to shove their cock up my arse / or coercing me into any of that.

That grateful thing seems to have set her off.

They were. That's a fact. And I was grateful for them treating me well.

It was all round better.

I never had to be reassured that bleeding after sex was normal. Just as a passing thought.

"No what you suggested was that men should just think themselves lucky a woman wants to go near them, and also that if they suffer discomfort from a sexual act they should be reminded that they don't have to do it."

Actually I'm going to backytrack here.

I am pretty attractive and was pretty frisky. Men I went to bed with in my 20s were grateful. My husband still looks awestruck that he gets to see me with my clothes off. That's my experience and men who are grateful are, also in my experience, generous and respectful lovers.

In returrn, women are grateful when men are generous and respectful lovers so this feels like a win win situation to me.

And by grateful I dont' mean genuflecting, simply wanting to make sure you had a good time, to not cock it all up.

I don't understadn the second point.

You dont' think that telling girls that they have the option to say no is a good idea? If something is causing them pain (and that's not what they're into before teh kink possie get onto me) then it's not compulosry? The message is very much that if women / girls dont' do something that it's their fault for not being relaxed or whatever.

Why are you so down on including basic info around otehr issues in articles of this type?

PP said these things used to be

1. You don't have to do anything you don't want to and anyone trying to convince you otherwise is not worth it.
2. Be safe, guard against std and pregnancy by using a condom.
3. This is how you do it, safely and with continuing consent.

This article assumes that it's going to happen and reassures taht bleeding is nothing to worry about and fails to mention STDs which are much more readily transmitted though anal.

Elon, are you on glue dear? The ‘ridiculous’ post here was you saying synthetic lubricants for vaginal use are odd.

Don’t know who you’re aiming the second part of your rant at.

"This is a sex education column it isnt about consent,"

Nor apparently about safe sex.

Marvellous!

So pleased to hear that sex education for girls and young women these days need not bother with trivial things like safety or consent.

bursting piles! jeez think i will go to bed with my cocoa and mills and boon instead!

ChewyLouie

What a ridiculous argument bringing "design" into it. Was the mouth "designed" for fellatio ?

This is a sex education column it isnt about consent, presuming those reading it are into it is a reasonable approach to take.

And rather than buying some should give up sex altogether

No what you suggested was that men should just think themselves lucky a woman wants to go near them, and also that if they suffer discomfort from a sexual act they should be reminded that they don't have to do it.