Got stared at in the restroom

‘Paddington stare’ illustration for confused lurkers:

m.youtube.com/watch?v=q_XjlVrrU_A

And yes, damn straight a man in a woman’s facility will get a Paddington stare from a mother with a child.

It’s definitely not literal violence though.

Although I’m starting to wonder if a ‘OH! I AM sorry! I thought I had brought my DAUGHTER into the WOMEN’S toilet! My MISTAKE!’ is the way forward

'Act like you belong there ...'. The only reason to 'act' is if you know full well that you don't 'belong' there.

'... like you own the place'. This is nothing short of colonisation of women's spaces by men using tactics of intimidation. With a little bit (a lot) of playing the victim thrown in.

Also note how the statistic of trans women suffering sexual assault conveniently doesn't mention whether that sexual assault was committed by women or by men.

Are we really expected to believe that the majority of transwomen live in 'acute fear' of sexual assault by women? And that they are using the ladies loos to bravely face that fear? Are they concerned that even if they are 'raped' (legally impossible without a penis) their clothing (including underwear) will be discussed in court and that they will be counter accused of somehow inviting sexual assault?

I don't think I'll knowing leave any child alone in a public toilet or changing room with someone who pinged my radar.

If that makes male transpeople unhappy, so be it.

As a Mum, if I was in a public toilet with my daughter and someone, anyone, pinged my 'mum radar' I would also do the hard stare. I would choose offending a stranger over compromising my child's safety every single time. What the original writer of this simply won't understand is how often Mums will prickle to a perceived risk to their child.

This story reminds me of Eddie Izzard's tale of how a bunch of teenage girls chased him out of women's loos

There's lots to dissect about Eddie's tale, but its definitely a sign of the times that someone who is keen for a career in politics talked so freely about being in a public toilets with teenage girls.

So the woman has kept quiet, while the protagonist learns to push boundaries further, with support from online chums.
Nice.

That some it up.

Well, this is bizarre turn in the conversation, I must say.

Our family called it Minnie when I was very little. My girls are fond of saying "Vulva and VAGINA!" loudly in inappropriate places, so I doubt there's much coyness in their future - though I'm sure they will dial it down to faux-dainty MN terms of humour eventually.

What was the point of the derail again?

I thought 'front bottom' came from one of Arabella Weir's Fast Show characters. I have lived in the UK for 15 years and that is the only place I have heard it.

Front bottom is in the same stable as lady garden and undercarriage. Slightly tongue in cheek (as it were).

It's possible that could be lost on an American.

I've never heard anyone say that here in the UK? ie front bottom.

Ben Kingsley in "Sexy Beast?" However, the character Don was just a little unstable.

My mum used the terms 'front bottie' and 'back bottie'. She was from Wigan.

Awww don't diss front bottom (as it were) that's what we called it in our house when I was wee...nostalgia!

Brits sound like twats when you say front bottom, you are hardly in a position to criticise how others say things

Completely agree - but the fact that British people also use stupid words doesn't make it any less twee to call a room full of toilets a 'rest room'.

This story reminds me of Eddie Izzard's tale of how a bunch of teenage girls chased him out of women's loos when he went there to change into his woman outfit, back when he was a non-famous crossdresser. He seems to think that he was the victim in that situation. I'm not sure what he expected the girls to do - recognise a famous "action transvestite" from the future, or go 'oh, he's wearing makeup, he's harmless"?
You'd think that people who feel so victimised would be able to empathise with women and respect our spaces and boundaries.

Hi fives EJennings" or a fistbump if you prefer ... and thanks for bringing this back on track.

Someone explaining terms is taking pot shots now?

Calm down Madge
It's just British sense of humour and all that. I'm going to smirk at front bottom too...

Not surprising men think they can be women in a place where people can’t tell a vulva from an arse
Tbf that was quite funny. The restroom vs toilet thing is a derail, Americans do use more twee expressions than we do but that doesn't mean we don't use them at all.
I think what's interesting about this story is that even through the protagonist is young and not yet confident, the mother still hasn't reported him, there's no interaction with restaurant staff, there's no angry husband challenging him.
So the woman has kept quiet, while the protagonist learns to push boundaries further, with support from online chums.
Nice.

You're in a toilet with a child and you realise the other person in there - a stranger - appears to be male. Too bloody right you're going to watch them. That individual may identify as a woman but they clearly don't have the foggiest idea what it's like to be one.

And I sincerely hope I'm never in an enclosed space with the person sneering at 'freaked out cis'.

Search it on here then if you don’t believe me

Not surprising men think they can be women in a place where people can’t tell a vulva from an arse

It could possibly be a MN term though.

If I said front bottom to anyone IRL they'd think I was insane. It is not a British term.