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Original poster

Trans Widows Escape Committee 2- The Trans Widows Strike Back..

945 replies

TinselAngel · 06/01/2019 12:47

The previous thread is nearly full, so here is a shiny new one.

I'm thrilled that this took off enough to merit a second thread.

This is a support area for women who are, or have been, in unhappy relationships with male partners who are transitioning, or exploring their "gender identity" Hmm

If you are in that position-

  1. You are not alone
  2. It is not a situation that you should be expected to tolerate, let alone celebrate.
  3. There is always a way out, if you want it. The thread is called Escape Committee for that reason.
OP posts:
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13
userschmoozer · 18/01/2019 09:44

As a trans widow I didn't 'grow apart from my spouse' and our children did not grow apart from their father either.
'Grow apart' is insulting in this context. Its so inaccurate it looks desperate.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 18/01/2019 09:26

Hang on, they can have 'deadnames' but not widows? Odd.

Original poster
TinselAngel · 18/01/2019 09:14

You'd lose your job? Confused

OP posts:
QuinnMovesOn · 18/01/2019 03:46

Not that I can say "Deadname's TransWidow" publicly without risking losing my job, because heaven forfend any criticism of the narcissist who dumped this upheaval into my family.

QuinnMovesOn · 18/01/2019 03:42

"Deadname's Transwidow" seems appropriate to me, now that my ex is also using the term deadname.

Oldermum156 · 17/01/2019 21:19

RollingCrone - As far as I have seen - women transitioning to men usually are young, unmarried lesbians. So very few of them would be women who had been married with children for years. I only know one such person like this and she was divorced long before transitioning. The rest were universally single or with women. So it seems only women have to put up with their partners transitioning.

socialworker222 · 17/01/2019 20:41

Love the understatement on 'growing apart from your spouse' .... like they just get a new hobby or something. My ex-husband's entire identity, name, existence, is dead by his own manicured hand. In fact such is the error of my ways I'm told I had no 'husband' at all by the trans lobby! . That man is nowhere to be found. And me and my kids have all the symptoms of a living bereavement. Oh but I forgot. There's only one special group of people allowed to make up new words (cis,deadname, bla bla) and label themselves... we are not all equal.

Original poster
TinselAngel · 17/01/2019 20:24

Katispancuddly, you shouldn't minimise your situation, it's a horrible betrayal, and a horrible situation to feel stuck in. Thanks

OP posts:
Katispancuddly · 17/01/2019 20:09

holy Grin

deepwatersolo · 17/01/2019 19:59

So ‚deadnaming‘ is ok then, because nobody died. Great that we got that sorted, thanks vasiline.

Holymozes · 17/01/2019 19:53

(Awaiting the contribution of DesireeLoveHeartBigTits Grin)

AS you were, transwidows.

TheRollingCrone · 17/01/2019 19:51

Just popping on to say I'm cheering you all on and wishing you all the best for your futures.

As an aside where are the 'transwidoweres'? How can people not see this is some kind of middle aged male contagion?

You all deserved so much better than this and I'm glad you have each other to talk too Flowers

Original poster
TinselAngel · 17/01/2019 19:33

I alternate between annoyance and amusement, that our occasional TRA ploppers think they're delivering a devastatingly clever coup de grace that will silence us.

OP posts:
Holymozes · 17/01/2019 19:24

Come on mumsnetters, must be a real woman with a feminine pornstar name like vanillarose Wink

(Woman with stubble, eight inch schlong, and a pink babydoll on as proof of womanhood....)

Katispancuddly · 17/01/2019 19:22

It's such a betrayal and I feel that even though my husband just cross dresses. I didn't know. I had a right to know. What turns him on and what turns me are impossible to reconcile. But if he decided he was a woman? Actually a woman. He'd be dead to me. I'm lucky it's just a kink.

LangCleg · 17/01/2019 18:52

What a vile person that is. Solidarity, widows.

birdsdestiny · 17/01/2019 18:16

As others have said, ignore. I don't post on here as it's a support thread for those who need it. But there are many many of us who stand with you and who will man any barricades that are needed.

Datun · 17/01/2019 18:09

Pay that one no mind.

Seconded. If someone reads these threads and the only comment they can make is an objection to the monicker? As usual, it says a great deal about them. None of it good.

feministfairy · 17/01/2019 18:06

MsVanillaRoseAuntof7
You haven't really thought the full implications of that comment through have you MsV..? Grin Sometimes the cognitive dissonance...........

Another lurker who hopes that all you trans widows struggling with your loss gain support and comfort from these threads. Please know that you have our support - and ignore the thought police on here - I know it's often a depressing feature of your lives. Flowers

Original poster
TinselAngel · 17/01/2019 17:57

Don't worry y'all. We won't.

OP posts:
BlindYeo · 17/01/2019 17:56

Pay that one no mind.

Original poster
TinselAngel · 17/01/2019 17:49

Well that's us told.Hmm

OP posts:
MsVanillaRoseAuntof7 · 17/01/2019 17:38

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
TinselAngel · 17/01/2019 11:39

Excellent point about "Deadname", Betty.

When this came up in the previous thread an actual widow said that she didn't find it offensive at all. Particularly as "Widow" is often used in phrases such as "golf widow"

OP posts:
Scientistranswidow · 17/01/2019 10:31

BettyDuMonde: god forbid ordinary cunty women are allowed to do such a thing You are right, of course. But the problem is that transwomen live in a parallel world. We are in the real one....