Trans Widows Escape Committee 2- The Trans Widows Strike Back..

Let's look into. I think we should be standalone we wouldn't want to be associated with headcases or far right movements. We wouldn't want our group being used for others gains and we most definitely do not want to be labelled trans or homophobic

Totally agree with TinselAngel nothing amateurish! Has any one thought of starting a charity helping specifically women in our situation. One that can help woman find their confidence to escape and maybe if we had enough backers help women financially trapped to make that move forward?

*the annulment was rare

Violence less so

cadanita

I'm so sorry you were treated that way.

I have a cousin. He married a lovely lady, who'd had a previous married annulled by the church as she had been the victim of domestic violence by her ex (which is rare i think). He was with her for years, until his dad died. He then came out as gay and found a young partner. She had cancer. He wasn't allowed at her funeral by her family.

He is a bully. His dad was a bully.

He is arrogant, bombastic, fraudulent in everything he does. Life / work, the lot. No one cares about his sexuality, people care about his treatment of others.

And IMO, this is worthy of more than just an ebook.

There is a crowdfunding publishing website:

unbound.com/

It comes with editorial and production support.

(I fear it might be Woke though.)

I think rather than responding to a poster soliciting for stories, it’s probably best that our widows have time to decide what they want to happen and then interview several potential editors/experts who can provide a contributory chapter.

I don't want psychiatrist to analyse us but to analyse their behaviour. I've spent this last 5vyears thinking everything he did was my fault but I'm at the other side now and tbh that TV program has made me understand that it was never my problem to begin with. My children and I are the victims of a narcissistic personality who used and abused us for years. So I admit at this moment I'm feeling a little militant!!!!

waves.
Hello all! I'm a new member/old member with a new name and I'm in the process of compiling stories for a book. The stories will be anonymous. I have publishing experience and know how it's done; I'm thinking of a free ebook which will be available on Kindle and other digital platforms, as well as a thin Print on Demand book which will sell for around $£EUR 2.50, profits to a charity such as Fair Play for Women. I haven't the time right now but I'll be back -- this is just to say hello and let you know!
I've been in contact with a couple older members who can verify me. Obviously, I need to stay undercover for a while or for ever!

If we did an anthology, each person who has this happen to them open up to the public tell their personal story from their point of view. I'm not and I never homophobic what I am is kevin phobic. I think if we did this we need a psychologist on board who can deal with the psychological, emotional and sometimes physical abuse perpetrated on us. I do not have a problem with young people who know and deal with their issues and we would make that very clear.
We could a book on our perspective and our experiences.

We could then write one from the perspective of men who feel like this but choose not to go done that route for the sake of their loved ones.

A third from the perspective of the young people who are trapped in the wrong body.

My stbx mother in law told me she asked Kevin why he'd married me and had our children, he admitted that we were his beard of normality and he had to wait for his dad to die before he did it. So my marriage as it turns out was a sham for 24 and a half years. A ticking time bomb waiting to explode in my face and our children are the collateral damage from his long term plans.

I was asked to call his mum (havent spoken to her in 4 years) the other night because of the lies, half truths and ommitances he has perpetrated on his own blood relations and us. Also the lies he has been feeding them about me and he told his family that my children were all on board and accepting of his new persona......He hasn't even told them. I know he's had full gender reassignment because it's come up in the ancillary relief proceedings but none of his family have been told.

Some of the details are so familiar though. There's so much cross over in the behaviour of these men.

DH is a transvestite but he knows he is a man. He knows it's a fetish. Why does he know that but others flip over into believing they are biological women? Where are the studies? What is going on?
to all in this mess.

I want to write that book and if we all put our stories forward in our own words I would gladly write it. Need to speak to solicitor first though. I wouldn't want to cause any unnecessary trouble for anyone.

What a great idea - and sorry if I sounded pushy earlier.... the tension between wanting the world to know what this is like (I can't quite shake that off), and the bone-chilling fear of retribution for me or the kids - is a tough call. I would also be 'in'.... food for thought.
Cadanita1 I am gobsmacked by this man's behaviour towards you and your children. Absolutely shocking. Interesting that if these programmes showed both sides, I've no doubt great swathes of people would revise their 'heroic and brave' impression...

Hi,

I had to step away for a while, it all got too much. But count me in for any book/radio etc.

My STBXH is making it difficult to divorce him. He co-owns one of the country's largest advertising agencies, so I'm scunnered.

Watching folk interact with his fetish everyday, thinking they are being "woke" and progressive, when I know he's getting off in it, well on a good day it is like watching idiots buy timeshares.

It seems to me that there is a huge blind spot here, STBXH can be as vile as he likes, if he's wearing a dress and simpering.

Your ex didn’t warn your kids he was going on the telly?

That’s all shades of fucked up.

My brother works in a similar industry, the have a lot of shared contacts. He's bouncing, he wants me to go public. He says that the people who do know the truth, know about me and our children are totally disgusted but for the ones who don't, they are in aww of him. How brave it was of him to do the show, to open himself like that but as I said they don't know the truth. I hate the phrase he used about me wanting a real man. What I want was a husband who didn't lie, lead a secret life and have affairs. I only found out about the cross dressing prior to our split and believe it or not I was trying to understand but he then became violent towards me. He tried to push me out of a moving car and at one point push me down the stairs, our kids were there for that one. His mum contacted me the other night seemingly the program has cause huge problems within his family. I only found out that he was self prescribing of the internet.

He told his mum I was totally accepting of his cross dressing and in fact I was the one buying him his clothes and make up. I just want the truth out there. He opened the flood gates. I would never unless all my children were on board 110%.

Our eldest daughter sent him a message the day after the program was shown to ask when he intended to tell them. He said he'd left it up to me because he was too busy. It turns out talks for this show started Dec 2015. Two months prior to our daughters wedding.......So he's been busy for the guts of 3 and a half years! The only reason I knew was someone brought it to my attention the first night of broadcast and the fact that I tried to get it stopped or at least a preview viewing by my kids so they could prepare for the aftermath.

I’d love to see s properly edited, published anthology of the stories of women partnered with late transitioning men. I reckon it would be very popular.
Everyone (except the editor?) could use an assumed name and there would be safety in numbers.

I’d also like to see some kind of independent-from-trans-groups support group/network and some specific, supportive literature aimed at partners. I suggested previously that perhaps the Freedom Programme could be approached to see if they would author that material - I reckon we could crowdfund to cover their costs and they could distribute the material the same way they admin the online Freedom Programme. If we crowdfunded enough it would cover the ongoing costs of adminning that.

Maybe proceeds from a book could be used to fund the support projects? I’m not a transwidow, so I wouldn’t want to take the lead on starting anything, but I would be happy to help/do the grunt work.

Completely agree with TinselAngel.

If you give away details about your ex this coukd lead to you being identified. Especially if you have factors most people do not , husband on TV, coming from a specific less densely populated part of UK and having × number of kids.

What I think might make for more interesting radio is the fact that a number of you have very similar stories.

Normally, we look for the unique and unusual. But your stories are similar.

For many of you the secrecy, the purging of clothes (maybe) saying they are not going to do it, he fact once it does come out things can move very fast, starts with dressing in secret, then openly at home, then out once or twice a week, then full time etc.

I'm not a trans widow so I may now be deafened by people saying no it wasn't like that for me! But some stories do seem similar. And some contain infidelity and on line personas etc.

If I were in your shoes I'd not want to say anything identifying. E.g. only having one child or having several children because I wouldn't want anything to affect them further.

Just to clarify my interest in anonymity\secrecy is because of other aspects of my life- like the fact I have an adopted child and s trans identifying child in the wider family. I'm not saying anonymity/secrecy is the only way to go.

If I had no children I might be willing to be more open on any subject.

Because of the trans identifying child I am now very quiet on the topic except on anonymous social media.