Trans Widows Escape Committee 2- The Trans Widows Strike Back..

I'm a widow and I can entirely understand why you call yourselves transwidows. It's entirely apt. You're definitely not treading on my toes.

I lurk on these threads and find myself raging on your behalfs. I am in awe of your courage and of the way you support each other.

Tbh it seems to me that you are enduring worse than I did. My darling husband died after a year's harrowing deterioration and yes, it was utterly heartbreaking, but our relationship stayed loving and committed to the end. We kept our vows, which comforted us both.

So I count myself lucky. I would give you one bit of encouragement: that your DC will suffer less than the children whose father actually dies. I once said to my DC that at least they hadn't had to go through a dreadful divorce like a couple of their friends. They said they would have preferred the divorce. Even if their DF had been a total shit they would at least have had the hope that he might improve with time. For me death was better, but that's not how my DC saw it.

Moralitym1n1 that prorgame was called Bride and Prejudiced. It was very good. All the couples in it were where the parents/siblings disapproved of the wedding. Only one person in it was trans.

www.channel4.com/programmes/bride-prejudice/on-demand/66552-003

(The bf/fiance was ftm trans if that wasn't clear).

@imablackstarnotapopstar

There was a ftm transpwrson on a TV documentary I saw, completely forgotten which one but it was about wedding planning with a bride of Indian or Pakistani origin whose Mum has trouble accepting her partner) and they were exactly as you've described too.

(Woman with stubble, eight inch schlong, and a pink babydoll on as proof of womanhood....)

S/he wishes.

Oh and yes to answering questions for the study

I have two close FTM trans friends, one of which I thought was a gay man until he told me he was actually FTM and had been for 20 years the other day. The other I knew before as a woman and has been a man for about 2 years.

The difference is, they don't manipulate or abuse anyone, they don't hate men or women, they don't push their agenda onto anyone, they aren't overly sexualised, there's no "dressing up" - they just wear whatever is comfortable and right for the weather, the one I knew as a woman has exactly the same short hair, clothes and partner as they had before and the one I've only known as a man has long hair in a ponytail (now receding thanks to the testosterone).

There's no fucking song and dance or massive angry outbursts and they just get on with their lives and are kind to other people. That's the difference isn't it?

If you wonderful women do decide to go ahead, please use a funding site so that we can all contribute. Unbound and Kickstarter are good for books.

TinselAngel

It could be utterly seminal. And your motivation "I passionately do not want women to go through the whole thing alone, like I did." shows great integrity.

I'm so glad you are all considering this. I think it's an excellent idea, if handled properly.

And as a source of reference it will be incredibly useful. The behaviour, background, etc, is so uniform, it's begging, just begging to be analysed.

When this happens to other women, having a resource like a book of almost identical experiences, would be incredible.

Being able to point to it, publicise it and make society at large familiar with it, would be unprecedented and help so many more women. (And hopefully, the men as well. I don't imagine it's a picnic for them either.)

Fantastic idea. For so long it's been all about the stunning and brave / authentic self bla and so little about the damage, shock, gaslighting, trauma, deceit, isolation, lies etc etc the transwidows and children have to cope with. Apparently TRAs disapprove of the term Transwidows - so not everyone gets to create new words, express their truth, 'identify as' etc, then??

I anticipate a flurry of academic interest in this topic over the next few years, and a book of 'lived experiences' from ordinary women, curated by someone like naefearty, would be an excellent way for women to take some control of the narrative.

I am hugely in support of a book collaboration in our own words, rather than in the words of a researcher or academic.

I've emailed to express interest and ask for more information, so that we can see what this is.

My first thought is that as many people should sign up who didn't stay/accept/believe/celebrate, to surprise them and get the unpopular experience heard. They would struggle to deny those participants' experience. But I'd want to know it was sound/ethical...