Trans Widows Escape Committee 2- The Trans Widows Strike Back..

popstar I could end all forms of relationship with DH, that is the ultimate plan. If I did that right now I would lose the house and have to rely on insecure accommodation. I would be unable to work in my current job and (If I could find work that tied in with school hours) it would be significantly less pay. The dog would have to be re homed and the two children would be up rooted. I totally respect other people in my situation would make different choices to me however I've made a decision based on financial and housing security for me and the children. DH is on the sofa and we split shifts so he comes in when I go out iyswim.

I make a point of following this thread as its helpful for my own situation. But sometimes I read it and it utterly breaks my heart because at least I didn't have the same obstacles to being able to walk away.

I wonder what it will take, for one - just one - female politician to break ranks and acknowledge the mere existence of you all and how this is a form of abuse of women. Of which politicians are actively complicit and apologists for.

Sending my support to you all. Not in your situation at all but have been reading about the issues you face and I think you're all incredibly brave in how you keep going when the person you trusted rips your family apart. These men seem the epitomy of selfishness and self indulgence. to all you women and wishing you strength.

I'm stuck for financial reasons. I wouldn't be able to provide a home for me and the kids by myself at the minute. I'm not stuck indefinitely though. I've got a plan to stick to. The situation got the better of me last night which I'm sorry about. Much stronger today though. Thank you.

It doesn't sound funny at all, Lasttobe, it sounds absolutely shit.

Last you don't have to be stuck with him. You can end all forms of relationship with him if you choose.

Everyone who reads this thread sends you love and positive vibes. We have your backs.

Sorry it's so isolating for you Last. Remember this community has your back.

Tinsel you are 100% correct. DH has a fixation on lesbians (they exist purely for the entertainment of men of course and wouldn't mind a creep like DH being creepy around them ) I also get to enjoy being told the answer to all my woes is to have 'lesbian sex' when

a: Im not a lesbian.
b: He's a man in a dress so not a lesbian

It sounds funny but it isn't. It's just shit and I hate that it's happening to me. It's alienated almost every single supportive relationship I had because in reality nobody wants to hang around with a creep and I'm stuck with him so guilty by association. Got myself upset now .

Giving this thread a bump now that TinselAngel has pointed out that it can get a bit lonely here and emotional support from other posters might help

Tinsel it's not depressing it's the truth. What has been depressing is knowing deep down something is very very wrong but being forced to pretend it's actually all okay. This isn't 'just clothes' or 'a bit of fun' or 'a bit of kink' it's an addiction. If you get tricked into marrying an AGP then you, your finances even your children will come second to that addiction. It's refreshing to be able to tell the truth and hear the truth about this with none of the bullshit.

Last, I also went through that phase of being supportive and thinking we could make this work. Going to counseling, going to a transgender support group, etc. It was a waste of time and in retrospect, damaging to me, as it just meant that my DH could continue breaking promises to me and pushing boundaries that we had agreed to. At this point I view my ex's late in life transition as a life-consuming addiction just like heroin.

Thank you for sharing that Haz. The impact on my children is something I really worry about. It is one of the reasons I haven’t left. While he is in the house, he is hiding it. If I kick him out then who knows what he will wear when he sees them. I want to protect them as far as I can.
When I was very young my parents had a friend who would always turn up dressed as a woman. I was little so I thought it was hilarious. I remember my parents saying that his wife was fine with it. I don’t ever remember meeting her though so it makes me wonder now how fine she actually was and it’s only through my own experience that I have questioned it. They had children too. It’s only now that I think about them and the impact it had on them. It was probably 30 years ago so I don’t know if they’re still in contact now but I hope that the wife had the strength to leave if that’s what she wanted.

Hi Haz, thank you for being so brave and posting. I am really interested in the impact on children of whatever age, as my kids (who are currently estranged from their father since his excessively rapid and insensitive transition) are surrounded by media coverage of children/adult children who have positive experiences. It is very isolating to feel uncomfortable or bewildered (or in my children's case) creeped-out and frightened by the transitioning parent. And there is absolutely nowhere safe to say that stuff. One of my children felt they were with a stranger (which felt unsafe and sinister), and the bewildering grief of a living bereavement and very mixed emotions makes it an enormously difficult place to be. I'm so glad you have shared with us as the issues are so similar for 'widows'. I hope your life is going okay now.

Sending support to you all.

My father was one of these men. He decided to transition in his sixties. He made lots of promises to me about how nothing would change and how important our relationship was, and promptly forgot them all. There was no support for me it seemed (and indeed there still isn't) but lots of support for these men. It felt like the expectation was that I should be like one of the Jenner sisters supporting their fathers. In reality, I feel like my father has gone and I don't know who this stranger is. He still makes appearances in my dreams sometimes, but always looking like my dad.

The first time I met him after announcing his transition then he was wearing a short skirt, blonde wig, heeled boots and painted nails. He talked using strange unnatural new mannerisms. When he met my baby, it was like he tried to act like some grandmother figure, constantly kissing it and saying things like "I'd love to put you in my bag and take you home with me" (despite clearly not really knowing what to do with a baby).

There is so much more I could write and say about him and my thoughts on it, but it would make me feel much too vulnerable and be ever so outing. I've already said more than I feel I should in some ways. I've never had anyone to talk about things to really. I started posting on mumsnet when I was struggling with my colicky baby, and stumbled across these threads containing so many thoughts that I'd felt unable to share or articulate.