At what age did you 'become at peace' with your body?

Pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding and motherhood. My children love my body so much and love to squish, headbutt, slap and cuddle any wobbly part of it. I realise that my body is beautiful and adorable to them - which was quite a suprise since my head was full of media and advertising imagery and the commercialisation of the misogynist's male gaze- through the drip, drip affect of living in this culture from birth.
I now can see myself through a child's gaze and feel okay about myself. I really hate being around people who pepper their conversation with reinforcement of misogynist male-gaze thinking and avoid if possible.
Women come in loads of different shapes and sizes and bodies change as they get older and I think that is beautiful. Trying to look like you've only just passed puberty is ridiculous - like regretting that gnarly old trees don't look like saplings.

I’m ok. I accept I’m average looking and scrub up well with make up.
I’m pretty happy with my body but I’m quite controlling about diet and exercise because
I really can’t bear to be overweight. I’m naturally an apple shape and I just don’t carry extra weight well at all. I have to eat low carb and work out every other day to stay within the healthy BMI. All excess weight goes to my mid section and it’s really unsightly. It’s probably not PC to say it but I love being thin (ideally I’d like to lose about 9lbs)

You young 'uns - wait till you find out what menopause and hitting your late 50s does to your body...you have to start all over again with coming to terms with it.

Is "resigned" the same as "at peace"? If it is, that's where I am now. When younger I was never at peace, or anything approximating it, due to complicated circs that I don't need to go into right now. There really are some (few) benefits to getting old. Not giving a fig for what other people think is one of them. That's a kind of freedom I wish I had as a young woman

For me it was late 40s when I started to work out. I'd always been okay with my body as I'm blessed with a small frame, but over time baby weight had become permanent weight. Then I discovered Jillian Michaels and even though my body is far from perfect, it's stronger than ever and can do more than ever.

I'm one of those 50 year old women that wears a bikini and rocks it

Saw the BBC today has a news article on Januhairy. I'm fair so don't shave my legs often anyway despite being a cyclist. Think I'll abandon shaving my pits too but can't be bothered with sponsorship etc will just do it for a month of naturalness.

Mid-late twenties. Definitely cared a lot of less since being pregnant and having a DD. Looking back I had a great body in my early twenties and wish I’d appreciated it more. DP had a big impact as he absolutley worshipped my body when we started dated, and we’ve both gradually got fatter since moving in together and getting more comfortable. I would like to lose the baby weight but that’s more to do with not being able to afford an entire new wardrobe in a bigger size.

30s, and definitely linked to bearing a child.

I pretended I had body confidence in my 20s, but didn't really. I just avoided looking at myself.

I just think, fuck it, I'm 51, have birthed children, breastfed through the nights on countless nights, I weight train and my body is strong and fit. I think my body looks damn good, and functions well, thank fuck.

In the last couple of years (I’m in my mid 30s) I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m about as average as most people. I’m no great beauty but neither are most people, so why do I think I have to be more attractive? I just look like me. I don’t care if I’m an acquired taste, in fact it’s fine by me. It’ll weed out some of the baduns.

I’m still horribly paranoid about my weight though, so maybe I’m not there yet.

I was very insecure about myself during my 20s but I was reasonably attractive and got a lot of attention off men. I was way to worried about how other people saw me rather than taking a good look at myself.

Once I had my children, in my early 30s, I started noticing the inequality between the sexes. As they say nothing radicalises a woman like becoming a mother. I began to notice more and more that men who I thought were interested in what I was saying were actually only interested in either making a move (sexually) or proving me wrong (proving they were smarter!) It made me look at myself entirely differently and start to value my character and brain rather than my appearance especially how other people see me.

Once I didn't care what others thought (as much, I can't claim I never care) it made me feel confident with myself including my appearance. So whilst I wish I had appreciated my youth a little more only with experience do I think you can know (and accept) who you are.

I think men worry about losing their hair.

I think men when under the spotlight are just as insecure as women have been made to feel. I once did an experiment, and looked a man up and down, watched him walked past me and then assessed his glutes. He was very embarrassed and hurriedly walked away. Most of us have had this since we first hit puberty in a visible way. Imagine how confident we would all be if we had never been subjected to it. Men think nothing of standing around staring, looking us up and down, making comments etc. Men may have body hang ups, but they're not subjected to the constant assessment.

as others have noted men aren't really that fussy so it wasn't an issue finding a husband
I find this assertion utterly baffling, tbh!

Well I could be wrong or there could be a third explanation. I find men who obviously work out and/or appear well groomed unattractive and always have done so I gravitated towards men who cared less about their appearance. It may be that in so doing I gravitated towards men who cared less about womens' appearance as well. The wierd thing was that girls at school were always extremely negative about my appearance but as I approached my late teens I found that men's interest in me whilst on a night out depended entirely on what I wore. Relatively low cut top = lots of approaches including from guys I knew and considered otherwise sensible. Conservative clothing = 0 approaches. Hence my assumption that guys aren't that fussy. I don't even have big breasts. We were very young then though so the fourth explanation is probably that young men maybe are less fussy.

Coffee I still do not think that it is the same, sorry.

Oh my, dudes and their body issues? I could write a book. I'm honestly seeing more and more men obsessing over their diet and their gym, and now fashion too.

I remember my own dad being very preoccupied with his appearance. Apparently when he got his first job, he went to the bank and got a loan and spent in on designer clothing, when he was very young. He'd keep up a tan religiously, enjoyed fashionable accessories, once as a teen I 'caught' him using my salicylic acid because he was going on a date and was worried about what the lady would think about his complexion (he didn't know how to use acids and gave himself a burn. Very clever, daddy, very clever.) Oh, and when his hair started falling out in his late 20s, he would frequent and spend a fortune at some fancy shmancy Swiss clinics. Yup, he ended up spending an absolute fortune but his hair still all fell out. :) Don't think he ever got over it.

Now my own DH has so many hangups about his body that I just roll my eyes at him nowadays because I can't be arsed to listen to his lamentations anymore. DH works out obsessively, cycles for miles every day, and is always in the mirror saying that he's fat. Well nope, he isn't, his weight is well within the healthy range but with a skeleton as huge as his, (now he is a prime example of Big Bones), he'll never look skinny. Funny thing is that his body is perfectly acceptable. Amazing legs from over 20 years of religious cycling, nice muscle definition from all the weight lifting, perfect V-shape physique. Nowt to moan about. But he gained a couple of kilos over Christmas and the whinging is neverending. Blah-blah. But I guess at least he keeps himself in shape, which pleases me greatly. I'd be pretty pissed off if he let himself go.

And I'm seeing more and more men overall, obsessing over their diet and workouts and fashion. Male grooming is becoming a huge thing. To be honest, in a way I'm happy with this - more good looking dudes for me to look at, so I'll leave them to it. shrug.

Batteriesallgone

In my experience, most men are only insecure about their appearance when there is something to be concerned about - e.g. being overweight to the extent that it impacts upon health (and even then my exh didn't consider for a second that being obese might make him unattractive). Whereas women are almost 'required' to feel bad about themselves even when they are young, slim and attractive.

There are entire industries based upon creating and preying upon insecurities and very successful they are too!

I don't doubt for a second that some men have insecurities but it appears to be a uniquely female experience for the large part.

Batteries I mean the constant and relentless societal pressure on women with regard to their looks that just is not there for men (as well as the female only issues of having a female biology).

I am sorry that your husband is suffering but I would imagine that this is far less prevalent in men and that most men would just not 'get it'.

Also, the realisation that most people don't even notice or care and are worried about themselves

Letssplashmummy I really wish this were true, but I don't actually think it is. I come from a family of hypercritical people (I'm sure it contributed to my ED) where it was considered normal to comment on the appearances of everyone you came across, and it didn't even occur to my parents to think that this was cruel, pointless, or a waste of one's energy. As a result, I am always quite aware of how others look, usually in comparison with myself. For instance, I will know within about a minute of entering a room whether I'm the fattest one there or not. I can't tell you how much I wish I wasn't like this, but there it is.

And you only have to read any thread on MN about weight and fat to realise that a significant number of people go around judging others on their appearances and being disgusted by them.

I'm still struggling with my face starting to look my age though, which is pathetic of me.

I know what you mean!

Although since I started making sure I drinking 2L of water a day and using the oil cleansing method, people generally assume I'm around 8 years younger than I am. So might be worth a try...

Can I have my knees back? The ones that didn't hurt when I bent down?

Always, despite having severe mental health issues and being bullied (including being called ugly) at school I've honestly never disliked the way I look facially or bodily

What aspect?

My DH is incredibly insecure in his body, his weight yoyos, he’s very emotionally tied to his perception of how he looks.

He is always trying to draw out an opinion from me on how he looks and I just tell him I love him and love how he looks.

Only time I raise his weight as an issue is because there’s a point where it impacts his sleeping, makes him a noisy restless sleeper. But I have to do that so carefully because the potential for upset is huge.

Of course he has no idea what it’s like to be pregnant or breastfeed so that aspect is uniquely female.

It is so very striking to me that men have no idea about this aspect of being a woman. None at all.

52 and still a very long way from being at peace with my body. Maybe I’m more at peace with not being at peace though?! Kind of more accepting that I have not been blessed with an aesthetically pleasing outer shell and still a bit resentful!