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Original poster

We argue every time I bring up feminism

92 replies

SnowyRobin · 31/12/2018 01:46

Every time I bring it up.. argument!

He takes feminism as a personal insult.. how do I fix this?!

OP posts:
LonginesPrime · 31/12/2018 02:24

That's the thing about privilege, OP - he's not going to see things from your perspective but the worst thing (apart from the abusive way he talks to you) is the fact he doesn't care that he doesn't understand your perspective.

I guess it depends on whether you're happy sharing a life with someone who has such little regard for you and your feelings and opinions.

I know I wouldn't be.

Original poster
SnowyRobin · 31/12/2018 02:20

Sorry, I've had a few drinks. He's offended that I'm "attacking men". I'm really not! It's such a complex issue.

It's so difficult talking about these things with him because he goes on the defensive. It's hard to explain a lifetime of these issues to somebody who doesn't understand it.

His dad began ranting tonight about women voted before 1918 and how feminism forgets men.

Whenever I bring it up against them I'm called a 'dumb' or 'stupid bitch'. I'm just a bit drunk and angry about it all tbh

OP posts:
bluescreen · 31/12/2018 02:19

What is his problem? What does he seethe about? What does he understand by feminism? (A lot of men seem to think it's anti-men, and that The patriarchy=all men.)
If he seethes when you differentiate yourself from a doormat, you know what to do.

BollockingBaubles · 31/12/2018 02:19

My Dad has this attitude. Pretty sure he hung about female dominated Facebook groups just to argue with them.

He did a lot of damage because he actually did treat me differently to my Male siblings, and because nobody challenged it I did think I was less, I had no confidence and no self esteem despite him having limited involvement (what with child raising being beneath men) and it's only in his death I've talked about it with other family.

My brother sometimes comes out with same stuff Dad is but difference is he listens and reads and learns and doesn't argue with me if I point out something is unfair. Like when he only asks his dd to do dishes and never his son, he now has son and him taking turns because he doesn't want to be the same shitty Dad ours was.

Someone who got angry and seething and doesn't think women should be equals is someone I wouldn't want to be with.

Whyarealltheusernamestaken · 31/12/2018 02:08

I’m all for being pc

TornFromTheInside · 31/12/2018 02:07

Can you give some actual examples of conversations you've attempted to engage in?

C0untDucku1a · 31/12/2018 02:05

What do you mean by bringing up feminism?

BubonicTheHedgehag · 31/12/2018 02:03

I agree with the other posters. If he does not accept and respect your reasonable opinions, then you're better off without him.

AssassinatedBeauty · 31/12/2018 02:03

What on earth does he seethe about?

Whyarealltheusernamestaken · 31/12/2018 02:00

I’m female, just because we don’t go above and beyond on feminism is ok. You can find a balance with your partner, life is about being happy, no matter who you are :)

BubonicTheHedgehag · 31/12/2018 01:59

Sorry, I accidentally cut off a bit of my post, there

For "Grandfath", please read "Grandfather".

yiskasha · 31/12/2018 01:58

I could never be with a man who believed feminism = man hating.

If you can leave him I think you should. If he has no respect for women by believing they shouldn't be equal to men, then he doesn't have any respect for you.

Original poster
SnowyRobin · 31/12/2018 01:56

Pressed enter too soon. He's my DP. I love him, but bringing up feminism always leaves him seething

OP posts:
AssassinatedBeauty · 31/12/2018 01:56

You can't fix him. If he's not prepared to listen and be willing to consider your point of view then it's not going to work long term (assuming this is a romantic partner).

BubonicTheHedgehag · 31/12/2018 01:54

Is "leave the bastard" a viable option for you, OP?

What is the relationship between you?

Is he your: Son? Boyfriend? Husband? Brother? Father? Grandfath

AtrociousCircumstance · 31/12/2018 01:50

Dump him. He’s a prick.

Problem solved.

Seriously, if he is so sexist, and so unthinking and entitled and threatened, that the very mention of equality between the sexes makes him furious, then why would you want to stay with him?

TyneTeas · 31/12/2018 01:48

What does he object to?

Why is it yours to fix?

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