We argue every time I bring up feminism

You are not ranting. From what you have told us however I think you should delete your browsing history . I don't think you would want him to see you have asked for advice and he won't like the replies.

No, you are not silly, Snowy. How dare anyone suggest that. I hope you sleep well and consider carefully what people have said here. It may be painful but it's all well meant. A lot of us have been there with an unsympathetic man, but most of us wouldn't waste time on a man who wasn't prepared to hear what we had to say, least of all a man who insulted us for our opinion.

Snowy Your DP is seriously not looking good. He is looking heartless, thoughtless and unimaginative.
He maybe doesn't care how he looks to the Mumsnet Massive.
More fool him.

Does he have any treasured patriarchal beliefs?
We will tear them apart.

But he's 35 and just cannot understand any predudice, thinks prostitutes' ask for it sort of opinion.
Sorry for ranting on a Moday night but I've had some wine and had enough of the same shit

What happens come the day he deems you are asking for it? When you say no but he deems you really mean yes? Or you get the smack you deserved?

Tried to explain being groped at at a work Xmas do by three different people. He didn't understand the problem and said "I've had my bum pinched before but didn't care"

Why are you attacking men sort or thing

So you were groped and his reaction was to tell you off for complaining about it??

Get out now. Do not have children with this man.

LTB, Snowy, before you have more grief, before you are avalanched in sexist assumptions of loo-cleaning and apologies, before you have children inculcated into this dreadful patriarchal cult.

Affirmation that all is okay or a wake up call that it is not?

It isn't is it?. It's not a case of say a man who thinks mothers of small children shouldn't work or it's a women's job to cook and clean or that #metoo has become a bit excessive. A man could hold those sort of views and still be generally kind and pleasant to be around. Those sort of views can be worked on.

Calling your partner "dumb" and a "stupid bitch" and not understanding why your partner would be upset by being groped are a different ball game. Those require genuine nastiness and lack of empathy.

I dont know where you start with people that think "a woman's place is..."

It is such a fundamentally flawed foundation to build on, and until you can demolish that and replace with a better foundation, nothing else can be built on it.
Sadly I think a man has to reach that conclusion himself. After that he can be persuaded by reason, but that fundamental tennet has to come from within.

Oh wow, Snowy, he's rude as well as thoughtless. Are you sure about him? I mean, is he really a keeper.

What are you hoping for from this this thread OP?

Affirmation that all is okay or a wake up call that it is not?

Just read the groping post. If he thinks thats ok, there isn't much hope

Yes, when added to the "stupid bitch" comment.

I frequently disagree with my dp without being called dumb or a stupid bitch

I don't think anyone ever has called me dumb or a stupid bitch no matter how much we've disagreed.

"Bitch" is completely unacceptable as far as I'm concerned.

People can love sexist dicks.
They are however, sexist dicks.

*He's sees feminism as an attack on men. It's not! I have a lot of lovely male friends.

It's more "how dare you question men" sort of thing.*

Tried to explain being groped at at a work Xmas do by three different people. He didn't understand the problem and said "I've had my bum pinched before but didn't care"

Why are you attacking men sort or thing. I give up

Oh lord, that is going to be hard.
Has he no insight into what it's like being a woman? None at all? Have
you tried the carpark test on him? (When he goes home from work in the dark)
Show him this list:
persephonemagazine.com/2014/06/keys-out-and-guard-up-what-women-do-to-stay-safe/

Just read the groping post. If he thinks thats ok, there isn't much hope.

I think he needs to understand that feminism isn't anti male.
It might be a better approach (if you have a daughter) to frame things in context of her. I think that helps men see it differently... before they grasp it is also about you.

Admittedly, you should have to do this, but it might help.
If he's got it in his head that a chat about feminism = a rant about men, then you're going to struggle.

Chances are he will have discussed feminism plenty of times without appreciating it, because it wasn't labelled as feminism, but the moment that term is used, he gets defensive. Maybe there is a crafty way to chat about a subject without him realising it? Not ideal, but if needs must?

I frequently disagree with my dp without being called dumb or a stupid bitchl.

Why do you think you are?

Doesn't help with the structural problems in the short term but will get you there in the long term, is my experience.

I would be more interested in how he treats you day by day. A man can spout all the right things about a woman being equal but its his actions that really tell you whats in his heart. So if he is fair in all his dealings with you and women in his workplace etc l would ease up on the discussion and focus on my life.
If he is antiwoman in any way don't waste your breath arguing just forget about him as he is not good relationship material.

Years ago I used to have a problem with framing my complaints. I used to say "Men..." and DH would go: "NAMALT..." It's much more productive to be specific about the behaviour you're complaining about and not to generalise about who does it...