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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Why are people so afraid?

57 replies

Yambabe · 27/12/2018 12:05

Really brought home to me this week. After the Martina thing not just peaking me but sort of chucking me off a cliff I have posted a couple of things on FB.

Ended with pretty much a 3-way convo, me, late 40s recently transitioned transwoman, father of a young transman, with occasional input from father of a young transwoman and concerned mother of pre-teen asd daughter.

It stayed respectful. Ideas went back and forth. TW friend posted same old same old mermaids/stonewall stuff, in support of self-id and medication pathway for kids. I refuted with links and stats, and asked questions which were ignored. The 2 parents of trans said some really thought-provoking and mainly gc stuff.

Thing is, throughout the whole 3 days my inbox didn't stop pinging. People saying how much they agreed with me, but couldn't say so openly because of the impact it could have on their lives or jobs. People looking at what had happened to Glinner, and particularly Robert Webb, and backing off.

How the hell did it get like this? Maybe more importantly how the hell do we let them know it's ok to have an opinion and be able to state what it is?

I am old and unimportant in the grand scheme of things but I have kids, and grandkids. Neices and nephews. How do I help make the world safe for them again? Sad

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Slothslothsloth · 29/12/2018 11:44

Agree, Dangernouse

Misogyny is apparently not seen as a reputational liability for organisations. Presumably as few people really care enough to boycott a company due to misogyny. Depressing.

Ereshkigal · 29/12/2018 11:23

I saw a younger academic immediately denounce an article on male violence for being transphobic as it didn’t list transwomen killed in 2017. Turned out none were killed though....

FFS.

Almondcandle · 29/12/2018 10:48

It’s not about talking about it at work. It is about being doxxed and then TRAs doing a pile on of complaints to your employer.

sackrifice · 29/12/2018 10:39

Its no good banging on about it at work and losing your job, as you will then not be in a position to change things back to the way they should be before the virtue signalling nonsense took over.

A question to ask though is:
Where are the risk assessments and what are the mitigations being put into place to protect women and girls from this new X policy?

Funkyfunkybeat12 · 29/12/2018 10:38

The problem is that transphobia is now very loosely defined and has become basically whatever TRAs find offensive, with no element of objectivity. The use of the word phobia means that it is viewed on a par to racism and homophobia, meaning that many employers will be tempted to treat it the same.

Obviously I recognise that there is such a thing as genuine transphobia, but now any mildly GC view is being lumped in with genuine hate towards trans people.

As for misogyny, plus ca change- nobody cares about it. Language of cis-privilege such as that perpetuated by Sally Hines and others means that women are now seen as some sort of privileged overlords. I saw a younger academic immediately denounce an article on male violence for being transphobic as it didn’t list transwomen killed in 2017. Turned out none were killed though....

Why are people so afraid?
Ali1cedowntherabbithole · 29/12/2018 10:35

It rarely happens to people who say misogynistic things does it, that's the hypocrisy. This is all about power, not morality or justice. Men have it and we don't.

Ain’t that the truth!

DangermousesSidekick · 29/12/2018 10:22

It clearly does happen to people who have said e.g. racist or homophobic things on social media,

It rarely happens to people who say misogynistic things does it, that's the hypocrisy. This is all about power, not morality or justice. Men have it and we don't.

Mariotta · 29/12/2018 10:09

Many companies have stipulations about social media behaviour - people can, and have, been sacked due to TRAs complaining about them.

Slothslothsloth · 29/12/2018 10:08

I would guess many are in a similar position to me and possibly yipyap - self-employed and dependent on commissions/sales/contracts so reputation within the community absolutely crucial.

And for those who are employed, of course it is possible to be sacked for being GC! It clearly does happen to people who have said e.g. racist or homophobic things on social media, and these days even loosely gender critical views are seen as transphobia and bigotry of the most horrible type, just as bad as those things. And as stated by PP, even if you’re not actually sacked, your working environment can be made totally inhospitable.

I think if you don’t work in an environment where GC views would be a serious issue it’s hard to imagine the extent of the opposition to them in many organisations and communities.

papayasareyum · 29/12/2018 10:08

I don’t think GC views are as massively controversial as we think. I’ve discussed this with friends and family, who all feel surprisingly similar. When discussing it they all seemed a bit relieved, saying “I thought it was just me” (er, no, numerous polls show it’s a common view)
I think if you can explain your concerns clearly, the safeguarding of children and erosion of women’s rights, the GC argument is reasonable to most people.

vicviking · 29/12/2018 10:04

Don't bring your company into disrepute.
Speak carefully.
Speak offline.
Treat everyone with respect.
Virtually no-one you work for or with actually believes in gendered souls or that humans can change sex. People are self-censoring.

Almondcandle · 29/12/2018 09:54

I thought aid for tribunals had gone under austerity, and the unions are pro trans.

So how am I going to fight getting sacked for bringing the company into disrepute?

vicviking · 29/12/2018 07:18

In social groups, families and workplaces across the country people do state the obvious to each other and it doesn't usually lead to the level of fallout that TRAs want us to think it will. Even in assumed 'woke' workplaces.
Also many trans people themselves are gender critical.
The social media companies are the reason for much of this silencing and fear. Their policies are anti-female and they permit harassment at scary levels.

Funkyfunkybeat12 · 29/12/2018 06:38

It’s probably not legal to fire them for that, no. However, professions like teaching and academia can lead to people’s names being dragged through the press, petitions calling for sacking, being shunned and denounced by colleagues, and being disrespected by students/pupils. So whether you get fired or not, it sounds pretty hellish. Look at Rosa Freedman. She has never said anything phobic and in fact has advocated for trans rights in 3rd world but she has had piss thrown over her door and colleagues publicly calling her hateful. She seems very strong but many wouldn’t feel able to be.

Also if you have less than 2 years service then you have no claim for unfair dismissal. What is this magic profession that we should all retrain into to make our voices heard.

ILikeyourHairyHands · 29/12/2018 02:50

Tell them to fuck off.

Why are people so afraid?
ILikeyourHairyHands · 29/12/2018 02:47

Right. I have been on this for years now. And yes, you may loose friends, and you may have questions asked.

I don't watch the TV.

You just have to be certain when people ask you WHAT YOU MEAN.

It's not so hard.

DangermousesSidekick · 29/12/2018 02:30

Blanketbox there is also an intermediate position where employers can make it very clear that they don't like you and you won't be going anywhere else and they'd take it kindly if you'd start jobhunting. It's usually a good idea to do so in that position since you'd be out at the next reorganisation.
You choose not to retrain - whoever said this is clearly unaware of the cost of retraining, the difficulty of getting onto many professional courses (frequently requiring voluntary experience: who's paying for that then), and the difficulty of breaking into new professions at later times of life!

Ereshkigal · 28/12/2018 23:14

Floral Thanks

Ereshkigal · 28/12/2018 23:13

I’m really not convinced that legally anyone could be sacked for voicing a GC opinion publically. Of course you could be sacked illegally.

YY. I think there is potentially a discrimination claim there. Especially if the opinion is to do with sex based rights.

yipyap · 28/12/2018 23:00

Slothslothsloth

my position is the same, all it takes is a few whispers and there would be no more opportunities or sales. In fact I think this has already happened, but it could be Brexit. There are no contracts, no security, and a rigid underlying orthodoxy. Everything is on the basis of being 'one of us' and it's never friendly to women's ideas unless they conform to comfortable roles.

Ali1cedowntherabbithole · 28/12/2018 22:34

Blanket box for those of us in Healthcare the risk is the accusation of bringing our employer and our profession into disrepute.

We risk losing our jobs, our reputations and our careers.

vicviking · 28/12/2018 22:04

Agree with blanketbox. I think the fear is stronger than the reality. As long as you don't advocate harm towards trans people or deny them a service how can expressing va mildly gender critical view cost someone their job.

KindOfAGeek · 28/12/2018 20:30

Because a small group of people have been successful running guerrilla campaigns to silence feminists from speaking and running sabotage their career campaign from secret Facebook accounts.

And since "nonbinary" folks are overrepresented at social media companies, social media companies are letting them bully women.

This make politicians believe that there really is a large movement out there that people other than confused young or monetarily invested folks truly believe in.

Blanketbox · 28/12/2018 20:22

I’m really not convinced that legally anyone could be sacked for voicing a GC opinion publically. Of course you could be sacked illegally.

BelleHathor · 28/12/2018 13:44

Because of such ladylike behaviour as in this video streamable.com/p4xjo