Looking snug in the gulag

I bought my mince pies this year. I’m blaming being peri-meh-nopausal. I just couldn’t be arsed with it all. The pies were consumed, no-one died and the Earth continued to turn on its axis. Result!

I do quite like making pastry in a processor, dribbling in the last ... few ... drops till it reaches the point where it balls up.... but I still CBA to do it very often.

I use a food processor rather than rub butter in, you can add the liquid as well and pulse a couple of times until you get a ball of dough. It takes seconds and makes making pastry really quick.

I preferred to make my own back in the days when I was a Little House on the Prairie style homemaker. Shop pastry is too soft and sweet, I like to make own with a butter and lard mix, but I've already wasted too many years of my life rubbing fat into crumbs.

I could do with some more mince pies. I CBA to make any; DH bought some from M&S but the mincemeat didn't have quite the acidic edge it should have had - they tasted somewhat like a moister Chorley cake. Not bad, but not quite satisfactory.

Why do you think I have so many? Large family, people appear to think we need to be gifted with boxes and boxes of mince pies. It's apparently the done thing to foist damp pastry filled with rubble in tar to people who have more than two children "because we know you have a lot of mouths to feed!"

Oh yeah, baileys. I have salted caramel baileys.

You can keep the mince pies though. Bleugh.

I'm in... squeeze up

This is all tres cosy. You do realize you've made it all sound so fabulous you'll have queues of trans-identified people identifying as GC so they can get in? And we'll all be bigots for making the gulag so exclusionary.

I have plenty Bailey's though, and a fuckton of mince pies still to pass round so budge up a bit and I shall treat you all to my excellent rendition of Del Amitri's Roll to Me.

Lemme in

I can’t think of anywhere nicer! I’m sorry though I will have to bring the 2 year old but he’s at that funny and cute stage, just having a bit of trouble with the word no.

I have loads of wine though and I love cooking, I’ll bring my big pot and the spice cupboard.

I have plenty of turkey biryani and prosecco...

Am not much good after a couple of drinks but otherwise I can get the gulag website sorted on the dark web

Pft. I just spat rum and coke ALL over my laptop screen ffs!

(Did I mention I also have rum? Evil rum from Majorca. 53% and tastes like chocolate. Mmmmmm)

I think we may need to make space for the makers of the 'Ladybird books for grownups' in the Gulag look at their calendar!

Budge up ladies, I have leftover turkey

I'm also quite useful at admin and accounts, can I have a cushy office job? Breaking rocks plays havoc with my nails!

(That's a lie. I'm mid-50s and I have never ever had a manicure. Maybe one of you ladies could oblige? )

Speaking on behalf of fellow spinners, we'll be there; hair in a braid.
And anyone who thinks Granny Weatherwax would be a TRA is wrong.

Whoa, ErrolTheDragon who knew what I started with Badley Fuckwitt!
Will have to be extra careful when coming through the Portal now.

I have a feeling that the fabulous Dr Jen Gunter would be there with us and provide:

i) medical care;
ii) non-stop entertainment and morale boosting.

twitter.com/DrJenGunter

Haha hipster

Hipster

You hum it, hipster, I'll play it!

Let me take you to the place
Where membership's a cis-gal’s face
Rub shoulders with sisters
Where TAs take you by the hand
And welcome you to gulag-land
From beneath their bandanas

Club Gulag, drinks are free
GC thoughtcrime, there's enough for everyone
All that's missing is the T
But don't worry, you can radfem!

Feminists and allies meet
Then dance around in Gulag's heat
All friends: straight, bi and gay
Evening, morning, afternoon
Cocktail time, a rousing tune
A lifetime holiday!

Club Gulag, drinks are free
GC thoughtcrime, there's enough for everyone
All that's missing is the T
But don't worry, you can radfem!

Pack your bags
And leave tonight
Don't take your time
Gotta move your feet, don't you miss the flight!

All these talented and capable women. Happy to also work with other engineering/ tech women to set up our off grid power etc. Not my domain but I could advise on user interface design and would love to be the person passing the screwdriver and learning

I'm in - shit at anything domestic but am like Radar from MASH - good at getting people to do stuff and acquiring stuff

I can't make anything useful but I can play the piano for community singing. I am woman, hear me roar.