Normalisation of sexual fetishism

So because my girlfriend and I enjoy spanking that means I’m exactly the same as a child rapist?

Multiple people have clarified that is not what they are saying. You are taking offence at something that hasn’t been said and that has been clarified a few times.

Unless you and your girlfriend are engaging in paraphilic infantilisation behaviours, then what you do together is not the subject of this thread. As people have said, repeatedly

And, paraphilia often don‘t come alone. So, if you have one paraphilia there is a quite significantly increased chance you have another paraphilia. (Doesn‘t have the majority of those with paraphilia have more than one?). So, statistically, if you have a kink, it should be more likely you are a paedophile, compared to the general population, no?

I thought paedophilia is classified as a paraphilia? No?

It’s my understanding that it is classed as a paraphilia. I’m not an expert though

I always find it dangerous to say that anything between two consenting adults is OK.

Many women condede to fetishistic activities with their partner because they feel pressured do so or because they feel they cant say no. Too many women have been abused and led to beleive the are worthless sex objects that consent is meaningless.

Many fetishes are acts of power and dominance; the fact both parties may consent is as far as I am concerned irrelevant.

Even if agreed a fetish that involves the inflicting of pain or dominating the other party is not OK.

Any partner that wishes to inflict pain or dominate the other person is not a partner anyone wants.

I thought paedophilia is classified as a paraphilia? No?

Why do you think people who like BDSM are mentally ill?

I would hope that everyone was acutely aware of John Broadhurst's conviction this week for the 'manslaughter' of Natalie Connolly.

Natalie Connolly died in horrific circumstances.
current thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3456679--TRIGGER-WARNING-Powerful-message-from-a-midwife-re-the-murder-of-Natalie-Connolly-TRIGGER-WARNING

Independent:
'Outrage at jail sentence for millionaire who claimed girlfriend died during 'rough sex'
John Broadhurst said more than 40 injuries sustained by Natalie Connolly were part of consensual activity'

www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/rough-sex-death-millionaire-john-broadhurst-murder-natalie-connolly-case-sentence-prison-jail-term-a8689366.html

FWIW, I believe people enjoying BDSM are, indeed, mentally ill or have some kind of unhealthy personality disorder. I is not healthy to enjoy pain, it is not healthy to enjoy inflicting pain.

Normalises? That’s exactly the opposite of what people are saying. They are saying that bringing a SPECIFIC paraphilia involving infantilisation into the public sphere is not a good thing. Sexualisation of infantilisation is a boundary that should not be crossed.

Paraphilias involving feet or spanking ? meh - do what you want in private. That’s not what’s being discussed here.

Ravenlover,
Of course paedophila is a crime of power and control and I am so sorry for your experiences. But nobody on this thread has even attempted to normalise paedophilia - precisely the opposite.

This is an important discussion about the attempted normalisation of fetishes involving children and babies and we have to be allowed to express our views without being silenced. If there are posts that cross the boundaries of decency / promote dangerous behaviour and don't centre the safety of children then please report them .

I would say that 99.9% of people who would be described as into "kinky" sex would agree that child involvement is entirely unacceptable, wrong and disgusting. Paedophiles are not accepted into kink circles. it isn't considered to be a fetish - no matter how hard they try to make it so.

The mantra of fetishes is "safe, sane and consensual" and anyone acting outside of those principles is just an abuser.

Pushing the boundaries of what is exciting in the bedroom is healthy in my opinion - provided all of the above is taken into account.

It should never ever lead to death or undue physical or mental harm. That is abuse.

See BACP guidance by Dr Meg John Barker:

'Gender,Sexual, and Relationship Diversity'

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3339137-BACP-Gender-Sexual-and-Relationship-Diversity-by-Dr-Meg-John-Barker

It's depressing how these discussions always get into 'ah buttery' and derailment. I don't give a toss what people do in complete privacy (with the normal qualifications about consent and actual harm) But we really shouldn't have to tiptoe round discussions of paedophila for fear of offending some foot fetishist.

Nobody is legitimising paedophilia - precisely the opposite. It's very weird thinking that can accuse the posters on here of "legitimising paedophilia" on the basis of this discussion.

No Birthday Hugs, are you really saying you don't believe his desire brought about through dressing up as a baby during sex has anything to do with his sexual desire for children?

I think it is actively very dangerous for you to conflate pedophilia with consensual adult sexual practices like spanking or foot fetish.

I’m not conflating foot fetish etc with paedophilia.

I’m saying that an adult who has a paraphilia involving infantilisation and who then plays that out in public, which involves unwilling participants is contributing to the normalisation of sexualisation of children.

Foot fetishes, spanking, etc between two people who are old enough to consent and consent willingly is not the issue. The issue is bringing paraphilic behaviour involving children into the public domain, whether directly or by normalisation

not adults doing things they understand and consent to but kids, who are exposed to stuff far too young

Some of this exposure is being dressed up as responsible sex education by organisations and individuals that go into schools.

I looked at the BISH resources a few months ago (aimed at kids 14 and over) and there was so much stuff that I've lived happily unaware of for 60 years.

Anyway as this thread is about fetishism here is BISH reassuring us it is all quite normal and innocent stuff.

You might think that fetishes (or some fetishes) are weird but remember that this is all subjective. We’re all the same, we’re all different. For this reason I really like this phrase ‘Your Kink Is Not My Kink But Your Kink Is OK (YKINMKBYKIOK)’ There’s no evidence that people into BDSM are mentally ill – perhaps the opposite in fact.