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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Oh bloody hell, friend's grandson on puberty blockers

28 replies

smithsinarazz · 11/12/2018 22:50

Me: 42, married, one DS (16 months). My friend: seventy or so, married, adult children, one grandchild of ten or so identifying as MtF; and my friend is dying. He has prostate cancer and (ha!) is on puberty blockers to hold it back. Met singing; communicate mainly online.
We have discussed the trans issue before, amicably enough; I thought we were both socially liberal but gender critical - but maybe that was just me.
This week I got a rather rambling email copied in to various other people saying that the grandchild has been put on puberty blockers, and talking about the need for acceptance, and arguing (with links to some quacks in the US) that to deny puberty blockers is not a neutral act, but an actively harmful one - etc. So I replied - as of course I was going to - with an extended version of "How the hell can you believe all this bollocks?"
Various emails exchanged since - both of us trying to be nice to one another, but flaring up. I feel very strongly that what his family are approving for their child is barbaric; he believes that I am lacking in understanding, or being judgemental. You can guess the arguments; you've seen them all before.
I can't save his grandchild.
Perhaps I could save the friendship. It would be kindest to leave this particular argument aside, for the limited time he's got left.
But I am so cross with him I just don't know what to say, and sad as hell about the child.
Just venting really.

OP posts:
AssassinatedBeauty · 11/12/2018 22:56

I hope that didn't come across as harsh!

smithsinarazz · 11/12/2018 22:55

You are right, Assassinated.

OP posts:
AssassinatedBeauty · 11/12/2018 22:53

But none of it will be his choice. It is the child's parents who have agreed to this course of treatment and the medical staff they (hopefully) are consulting with. He is trying to rationalise and deal with it, framed in the love he has for his child and grandchild. I don't think it's fair to be cross with him, he's going to be stuck between a rock and a hard place with this.