Can boys be civilised, as in, made civil?

Oh god I know so many mothers of girls like this, hopefully wont be so smug once the teenage years hit. Just remember tbeir father was a horrible, destructive, aggressive, disruptive, unruly biy at one point and OP chose to procreate with him nonetheless.

Why is this on the feminism board?

I also think people just say shit. Not a clear concise summation of their world view just noise to avoid dead air. Yesterday I said another mother had it easy because her kid isn’t as tall as mine so it must be easier to find clothes. Complete mindless twaddle and I didn’t mean anything, except i sounded like a cow.
Crap parenting is crap parenting.
I don’t know how old your daughter/s are but if heard it said often that teenage girls are harder because boys can’t get pregnant. Which also total misogynistic bullshit.

I don’t know how those people who claim to have “boisterous boys” can put up with it. I absolutely cannot be bothered with noise or aggression from any child, regardless of their sex. I like a nice peaceful home environment and will not be deprived of that by the simple fact that my child is male.

Loud, physical and unruly is different from aggressive and destructive though, or are you grouping all those behaviours together? From what I have seen boys are more likely to be loud, physical and unruly (well most toddlers are unruly), but girls are just as capable too. However I wouldn’t say those behaviours definitely have a negative impact. IMO more children should be allowed more physical play. I don’t think many parents excuse destructive and aggressive behaviour with the excuse that their child is a boy do they? What’s an example? I have a dd and a ds, but he’s only 3 months so I don’t know how different he’ll be to my dd who is fairly loud and unruly.

I agree with LovesLaboursLost that there's a difference between normal childhood physical play, and violence. Equating the two would be ascribing adult intentions to young kid's play

Girls are socialized to play nicely and not be loud & boisterous, so I think there's an element of nurture from both sides - yes we accept boys being more physical, but we should also accept it from girls, as physical play/being loud etc is healthy

I'm not sure I believe that this is what leads to male violence.

It drives me crazy because I have put a lot of effort into teaching my dds to be empathetic and considerate

Can you be 100% sure the result is due to your effort? They might’ve been like that anyway.

Interesting reactions. By way of anecdata:

My chum recently said, after her tot DS ran over my foot with his scooter "oh no Anlaf's foot ha he's such a boy eh?". Which I found interesting and depressing and have filed away to prod her about another time.

And then my other chum says most times I see her that her infant DS is less good at communicating and more robust and just breaks things and... than her daughter, because he is a boy.

And she is determined there is no other explanation for it.

(These are metropolitan types, although they both grew up with rigid, traditional gender roles)

I'm not really sure why your post has caused such offense op
it's very obviously a set up
that's why

No, I’m one of those mums of girls who is worried for the future safety of my dds in a world where male violence is shrugged off as inevitable.

No one shrugs male violence off as inevitable, what nonsense!

I’ve never seen anyone encourage their sons to be violent towards girls. Some turn a blind eye to a bit of rough and tumble between boys but the attitude is different when girls are involved. Even those parents who have said boys will be boys know when things have gone to far and discipline.

I think you’re a bit naive.

In your initial post you don’t identify the problem as male violence, it is boys being ‘loud or physical or unruly’. Yeah, boys can be all of those things, it’s totally normal childhood behaviour. The far greater problem is girls being told they shouldn’t be loud or physical or unruly. They should, because it’s normal childhood behaviour.

If people are accepting violence that’s an entirely different thing.

Well, to begin with, what do you mean by “unruly”? It’s not necessarily the same as being violent. Neither is being “boisterous” or “physical”.

I have two boys and one girl. The boys are much more civilised than my daughter.

HTH

It may be your reference to 'mothers' when often there are two parents who are equally responsible for raising responsible human beings.

I'm not really sure why your post has caused such offense op. I have however found that others on here don't live in the kind of suburban backwater that I do and they don't always believe the highly gendered culture that is my lived experience

YANBU to say that it's annoying you're being told that your DDs are intrinsically "easier" because they're girls. Like any generality, that's BS

YABU to think that some/any mothers of boys have been "shrugging their shoulders all along and not even attempted to avoid what they believe is typical male behaviour?". Most parents, be that of boys or girls, are doing the best they know how.