How do you cope with the hate?

cherryontop00 Dr Julia Long's lecture worth watching:
'Transgenderism & Lesbian Erasure'

Have you seen Nanette by Hannah Gadsby?
www.theguardian.com/stage/2018/jul/16/hannah-gadsby-trauma-comedy-nanette-standup-netflix

I don't think anyone should take that idiot boy in that link seriously. Transphobic is a completely meaningless word now.

Tell them to fuck off.

I hope the OP read the responses even if they didn’t feel able to post again.

Stop allowing them to make you feel you owe them something. You don’t. You don’t need to listen to them, or understand them, or compensate for their inadequacy. You are not responsible for them or their problems and there is absolutely no need for you to engage with them. In real life, when you deal with people face to face, your instincts often tell you who to avoid. I think online we often switch off those instincts because we feel we need to be open minded, but those instincts are there to keep you safe and comfortable. The people saying this to you are likely creepy weird fuckers or bullies or both, and you’d cross the road to avoid them in real life without a second thought. There are loads of proper feminist women’s groups out there- online and increasingly reaching out into the real world now. Find those and stay away from the TRAs. There’s nothing wrong with you, so stay away from people who say there is.

it really is them not you that is wrong.The idea of lesbians being somehow broken transmen is abusive and homophobic. There is nothing creepy about being attracted to another woman.

Women's bodies are strong & soft & beautiful & awesome and the thought of mutilating them to try and mimic a man is horrific.

I’m in my mid fifties. I used to go on marches for gay rights before it was remotely ‘acceptable’. I’ve seen everyday sexism as a young woman and a middle aged woman. I’ve seen the cultural shift such that the sort of sexism visible in the 70s does not happen today. Yet there is STILL sexual harassment, and assault. And now, the attack on lesbians and women in general by the extreme trans ideology. All it is is the same old misogyny and homophobia dished up in a woke, lefty presentation so it brings in the academics, it brings in youth culture and it grooms.
Other posters have given good advice. Well done for questioning what you are seeing. Find yourself a healthier network. There are so many who find all this disturbing.

OP it’s not you it’s them. They get off on the knowledge their words hurt and demean. So I’d suggest you stop feeding their needs by interacting with their bs.
Also people tend to be more extreme and outlandish online than in real life, I’ve been amazed to meet some rather kittenish people IRL who were depressingly hateful online.

I'm finding it tough as an older lesbian hearing all this stuff and seeing how much things are sliding backwards for us so I can only imagine what it must be like for younger lesbians now.

I always used to actively avoid reading stuff by Men's Rights Activists, incels homophobes etc but with this - although it's very similar - it's easy to get sucked in, and I feel that I need to follow it to a degree because it has become so influential and these attitudes aren't just on some small corner of the internet, these are increasingly the attitudes that seem to be more widely prevalent - particularly in LGBT circles, which should be the one place lesbians can take refuge from homophobic attitudes.

But still I think it's best to try to limit the time you spend online in those environments or - now you've seen it directly for yourself - to primarily hear what's going on through other forums e.g. I can follow what's going on through Mumsnet with links to what TRAs are doing but in a context where most of the posters here don't think lesbians are bigots and need to 're-educate' ourselves to have sex with people-with-penises.

I don't know if you are on any forums or sites which are pro-lesbian, but, if not, I'd recommended www.afterellen.com and www.reddit.com/r/truelesbians/

I know there's nothing wrong with being attracted to women, I really struggle already with feeling predatory or creepy in general when I'm around my crushes
Stop this right now. There is nothing predatory or creepy about being sexually attracted to someone and feeling nervous/,butterflies when they are around. That's a crush.
Predatory/creepy means not taking no for an answer and assuming your right to sexual gratification is the most important thing. Staring/ogling/groping/making lewd comments. You aren't doing that.
You can't help who you are attracted to and attraction is natural, not creepy.

If you want to see both sides from a more helpful POV maybe look for some videos of Magdalen Berns taking down Riley.

I get the impression that TRA types are generally on the page of supporting all manner of fetishes and kinks.... so even if you for one moment accepted their ridiculous label why exactly is this the only one which seems objectionable? Clue.... check the rules of misogyny (2,3,5 I reckon)

https://www.reddit.com/r/GenderCritical/comments/6kkeni/theerulesoffmisogyny/

Get off tumblr

Everytime you think of reading Tumblr think about the people behind the keyboards ie how many are predators and creeps projecting on to others. You don’t need to listen to their bile and revolting crap. Access spaces that support who you are to stay in the loop. Btw, I shouldn’t have to say this as it’s obvious but nothing at all ‘wrong’ with being a lesbian, perfectly natural.

That's new to me, and I thought I'd heard everything. I mean the business about same-sex attraction being transphobic.

There are obviously some trans people who think everything everwhere always is only about them. Narcissists to equal Trump. :huge shocked face here: Figured that dogpile had to be a one-off.

As Lumiere says, if you think that way, then trans is homophobic. You're instantly through the looking glass and into deep nonsense.

Stay away from that garbage is my advice. It'll mess with your mind and make you do stupid things sooner or later. Hanging with the cool kids isn't worth it.

Oh, it clicky linked itself!

Do you watch Arielle Scarella ? She's a lesbian youtuber - trans friendly, but also lesbian friendly. Here's a link to her latest video which you might find helpful. Sorry, don't know how to do clicky links.

I think it might be nice for you to hear another young lesbian call out the 'genital preference' shit.

The ridiculous idea of lesbians being “vagina fetishists” for being sexually attracted to women is a new one created by very angry men who feel entitled to women’s bodies. A biological woman is more than her vagina she is female in every cell because of her chromosomes. It’s not just our wonderful vaginas that make us women it is every single bodily part of us. It would only be a man who would reduce a woman to her vagina. Never be ashamed because you are attracted to the unique bodily sexuality of women. Remember, your attraction is a SEXUAL attraction, not an attraction based on gender.

I would suggest you stay away from toxic online environments and hang out here and in similar spaces, also watch movies made by women and feminists. Be aware that so much of the media we consume is created by men with a male perspective and a male gaze.

I am not a lesbian but the development of so much recent ideology in the last couple of decades which denigrates lesbians makes me extremely angry and is so clearly misogynistic. It’s a good idea to reach out to older women because we know a lot of these ideas have developed during our lifetime and can tell you exactly where it came from and help you trace it’s history so you don’t believe this crap that “it’s always been this way” as a new orthodoxy.

Every word in this thread! Verbatim, this would make a great article for some large well respected magazine. People need to hear it

You've done your duty by reading both sides of the argument. The people writing that hateful stuff have severe psychological issues. You wouldn't read endless forums written by people with Munchausen syndrome, or that disease where people want their limbs amputated, because you would recognise that too much exposure to it would mess with your head. This is just the same.

Now stay off tumblr, get out in the world and enjoy hanging out with some real women.

I think it's important to read what TRAs have to say because I think it's important to hear both sides of the argument), so I don't want to just stop reading forums.

Why would, you, a lesbian hang out where homophobic loons are spouting their homophobic vitriol. The vast majority of the population would be appalled if they saw what was on those forums. Those loons are not showing you a side of a rational argument. They are homophobic, deeply lesbophobic. They are not normal. Stay away from them. Find some nice normal lovely lesbians to hang with instead.

Frequenting those forums is a form of self harm. If you are struggling with your lesbianism, seeking out the most lesbophobic corner of the internet is not helpful.

It sounds as though you really could use a break from reading, let alone engaging with, these homophobic misogynists.

You're welcome here.

Just know it’s not you. They are the creepy ones. Your preferences are your business and they have no right to try and dictate.
The lesbians are broken trans men thing makes me furious on your behalf. Disgusting.

It’s not you, it’s them. You’re fine

Following the logic, I’d be a penis fetishist. I can live with that utter fucking nonsense devised by people with issues so huge as to be visible from space