NHS to offer mental health treatment for new fathers

I can imagine there wouldn't be so many cases of PND if maternity services weren't so absolutely dire in so many places, not to mention post-natal wards where women who've just given birth are expected to share sleeping space and toilets with all these partners. Also reading the Relationships board there are a startling number of women whose mental health is being severely effected by the fact that they've procreated with a man who's a total fuckwit.

So now women can't have privacy and good treatment during labour, the men get to hone in on that, too, and after birth but they can't even have PND to themselves anymore! FFS.

Had routine checking of spousal MH been offered when DC1 was born, my own postnatal health would have been immeasurably better. DP suffered a complete breakdown following my traumatic delivery and became anxious, depressed and eventually psychotic in the months following the birth. Huge triggers from early trauma for him, which could have been coaxed out of him had someone had the presence of mind to check. My immediate postnatal period was spent trying to stop him killing himself while banging on doors trying to access help for him which I was told would only be available if he asked for it himself. In the end, it was his employer who found a way in, through the official channels of supervision, so an established structure of enquiry and feedback, in which he felt safe to open up and accept the help offered. If a postnatal check was scheduled for new dads as a matter of course, irrespective of whether they were deemed 'at risk' , I imagine take-up of services and support would see an exponential uptick, and new mothers' wellbeing would improve respectively.

No to calling it PND or otherwise drawing equivalence with the experiences that women have around pregnancy, birth and post natally.

It's appropriation of terminology belonging to women again, though, isn't it. Or, more innocently, a failure to recognise that the aetiology of "feeling bloody awful after a new baby arrives" really isn't the same in men and women.

But hey, continue to allow maternity services be the bastard stepchild of the NHS as long de menz are okay.

I think it's great

Is my experience obviosuly not al HCPs are identical!

" if you can reduce the fear of social services involvement."

Re women accessing services>> this is a massive issue.
I didn't seek help with quite severe issues post natatlly due to concern about SS.

I am not convicnced that when fathers are ill there is the same dismissal and looking over the shoulder becasue actually the woman is now only a unit that exists to look after children and the priority is that she can function well enough for that. This seems very common when women have kids, Concern for them as people goes, it's all to do with are the children OK.

Great to have more support for men. There should be support for everyone around mental health.

No to calling it PND or otherwise drawing equivalence with the experiences that women have around pregnancy, birth and post natally. It's not a compeititon and it's not a good idea to pretend that what men go through around pregnancy birth post natally is the same as for women. In some cases it may be as bad, but it's not the same.

Yup. I come at this from two angles - personally we could really have done with more support postnatally as we nearly lost our eldest. It was very traumatic and gave me all sorts of trust issues with HPs that linger today (over ten years later I still have to do mental prep before going near the hospital). DH was already "in the system" for mental health but didn't/couldn't access support, partly through his own...pride, I guess? Fear of social services, yes, and just the sheer lack of timely contact which we've experienced before. We were lucky, we coped, but it was touch and go. Secondly I've spent the last year helping a relative deal with the acrimonious split arising from her STBXH turning into even more of a giant manbaby than he already was after the birth of their child. Would intervention have helped them? I honestly don't know. It might have set her on the road to escape sooner if she'd someone pointing out what a massive cock he was being.

I don't see why it has to be a man vs woman deal. Counselling and support as a family might work better and be more approachable - if you can reduce the fear of social services involvement.

Nuerotrash yeah I'm going with you.

I had post natal anxiety that I had to wait 6 months for 4 fucking CBT sessions to help with (by which time I'd got all sorts of books, exercises, apps sorted already), however that was made about 10x harder by having to deal with the depression and anxiety of my then DP. Who wouldn't seek help, and it nearly broke us.
If there had been a number to call so I could have sort of offloaded his problems onto someone else, it would have made those first 6 months so much easier. For me.

I also agree with silentcrow. There's a possibility that if changes in behaviour in partners are routinely highlighted as being something to watch out for as a part of the maternity services, those men who actually are showing abusive behaviour might be identified as well as any who might need a big shove to access mh support for the first time in their lives.

Actually I kept saying to my perinatal counsellor that dh was saying x y z and they just patted me on the back. No suggestion that perhaps he was expressing anxiety or what did I think was going on. It took a while for me to work out it was anxiety. If even the maternity services were slightly aware of the possibility that partners might struggle and could suggest sources of support it's only going to help.

The money allocated to mental health services is woefully inadequate and is post-natal services.

Nonetheless, given what is known about pregnancy being a time that domestic violence surfaces in some relationships, or when a man shows mental health issues - I'd be pleased to see this made available, where necessary, during the pre-natal period.

Funding is the issue. But how many relationships start showing their strain around this time. MH support for men would be value for money if it prevented relationship breakdown or alleviated any of the attendant issues around it.

New mothers are already screened for PND, and the NHS is opening perinatal mental health centres for mothers, so it’s not as if women are ignored.

Men’s mental health is very badly served.

Yes agree. There's more stigma among men about it. Dh thinks he doesn't ever get depressed or anxious. He does.

Yes I'm going against the tide too. From personal experience.

I agree the provision for new mothers is still woeful - however my area does have an excellent perinatal service and I know many who've successfully accessed it.

My husband found it very hard. His Anxiety channelled on to me as I was primary care giver being on maternity and breastfeeding - I had to deal with a lot of his out of proportion worries while also coping with motherhood, chronic illness and a refluxy non sleeping baby. (To him the anxiety was completely reasonable. Looking back it really wasn't.) If I could have said here, ring this number he would have either shut the fuck up or received some support for his anxiety. Of course, going to the Gp was out of the question .

We did have some joint marriage counselling later on and a lot came up and was addressed then. Dh is visibly working on dealing with it all again with baby number 2 but sometimes I wish I could send him off with a website or phone number than have to be the one to deal with it as he won't bloody discuss it with anyone else.

"women must come first in post natal care"

Yes they must. And they do. They're throwing a crumb of funding towards an issue which is experienced by 10% of all fathers which previously had 0 attention. Isn't that worth commending? Isn't that worth a tiny crumb of the extra 20 billion in funding for health, regardless of whether other services are underfunded?

SD1978- They're not treating men's post natal care as "equal" to women's in need or severity or even allocation of funding. No one is saying it is equal or level, just that men experience it also so it's probably worth at least offering the service to them. And it's a bit more than just "men may struggle with suddenly not being #1 in the family equation", which is a pretty shitty way to characterise how a new father feels.

Isn't a supportive and mentally-well partner one of the best things a new mother can have? How does this not benefit mothers immensely?

I meant specialist services related to birth for men. Just to clarify

I think there was something like 40% of the country where no specialist maternal mental health services exist last time I saw figures.

Men don't need specialist services in the same way.

I wonder what the background is to this. Who decided it was a priority, where's the funding coming from, who has been consulted and given advice? Because this:

some men may struggle with suddenly not being #1 in the family equation

is a known trigger for domestic violence and coercive control. The seeds are usually there already, of course, but the pregnancy and post-partum period is especially risky. I would love to think this is a stealth approach to dealing with that. Too cynical, though.

It may feel like with funding cuts it will be either womens health or mens health that gets supported, but hopefully it will be both. It should be both.

Depression and stress for some men presents as anger so i think new mothers and babies will be far safer if men access support.

Nudi I am not against it per se, just that with lack of funds, is it really the priority? If we had a money tree for mental health services I would absolutely be applauding this but we don't and women must come first in post natal care.

This is becoming a bigger and bigger thing. That not only women get PND, what about all the poor men.....whilst I don't deny some men may struggle with suddenly not being #1 in the family equation, to try and out this on the same level as the hormonal and physical changes that women go through, irritates the shit out of me. It's not an 'equal' issue. It comes from very different places. Access to post natal services can be difficult for women to access. I agree men do need to be aware and supported post birth. But putting it level to the issues women suffer, sticks in my craw a tad.

Men’s mental health is very badly served.

Absolutely. Totally agree.

Homeless men, men exiting systems like prison or military, men who have been abused, men with addictions, older men... all massive need for MH care. Post-natal MH care for men? That's the priority? Really?

I dont know how anyone could be against this. At the very least it could help men be better parents and partners.

Why do we complain when men's mental health (arguably the cause of a significant number of issues experienced by women) is given the attention it deserves? It smacks of "but what about mennnn" that MRAs arc up with when womens services are funded.

If we want better men who arent broken pathetic excuses for partners/fathers, we need to support them in getting the mental health care they need.

I am very supportive of any mental health treatments being funded, however, when maternity services for women are not funded appropriately, mental health services following birth are woefully underfunded that men should not get priority in this instance.

Yes my DP struggled after the birth of my DC but it is nothing in comparison to how a woman would suffer postnatally- hormones/birth trauma.