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Original poster

I'm so bloody fed up with this

33 replies

ofcourseibloodyncd · 01/12/2018 02:30

It's across the boards of MN

It's across the world IRL

For the record yes I've been the victim of sexual abuse/assault/rape

But I didn't have to be to hold a valid opinion or be taken seriously when I say "as a woman, I feel..."

I've said this on another thread recently

You are dismissed... unless of course you have experienced and admit to certain things having happened to you. Then you may have special kid gloves and sympathetic understanding for your POV

You don't have to sleep with penises if they trigger you and you're a lesbian. It's okay then to say no.

You can feel threatened by men if you have been a victim. It's okay then

You can refuse to get changed/pee/sleep in the same room with men if you've been a victim. It's okay then

You can do lots of things and feel lots of ways - as long as you've been a victim or admit it

But if you don't admit it or you haven't... you are a stupid hysterical overanxious woman

You absolutely cannot feel any way JUST because you are a woman. It just isn't valid.

Stop being naughty women and lying about how you feel. You are wrong!!!

(You're not wrong btw, and you are valid)

Stop making women's feelings only valid if they share their traumatic experiences first to justify them

I'm ranting. Clearly this is aimed mostly at the males (but the attitudes of some women too)

OP posts:
TheHarpySings · 01/12/2018 07:02

I felt forced to disclose my status as a victim sexual assault in a meeting with my MP because he wasn’t taking my fears re self ID seriously. It didn’t fucking help. I’m still angry about it.

Original poster
ofcourseibloodyncd · 01/12/2018 06:59

It's definitely even if you have been a victim you may still not be listened to or just slightly patronised

But I am so angry the amount of times women are FORCED to pipe up #metoo for what they are saying to be considered as anything more valid than the ramblings of hysterical overanxious women

You can have a valid feeling or POV simply AS a WOMAN

I don't want to say IRL conversation to colleagues, friends, family or even here on MN threads that I was a victim. I would like to JUST be a WOMAN (who is listened to)

I am frequently made aware that unless I have been a victim I am chatting rubbish and overreacting but if I was a victim they could understand- but I said "AS a Woman, I feel..." and it's not enough. I cannot simply be a bloody woman with my feelings.

The experiences we who have been victims have had were not for the purpose of being understood or sympathised with later. We don't always need to talk about them and share them to make our opinion count!!! (Except it seems we do)

To help stupid people understand- we must detail what happened so they can. We must think back to that night/time/years when we were victims and tell you who gives no fucks other than trying to shut us up about it

Because JUST being a woman- is not okay

I JUST want to be a bloody Woman ffs

(Sorry I'm really, really angry - and the feminist board is not necessarily the audience who I am ranting at. But I feel safer here)

OP posts:
JoggerBottom · 01/12/2018 06:40

OP, I agree.

Spottycake · 01/12/2018 06:33

Or, even if you have been violated, its all NAMALT and how dare you put up boundaries so it doesn’t happen again.

Sexnotgender · 01/12/2018 05:51

Totally agree.

I saw a tweet along these lines recently.

Women have to have been utterly violated to be afforded bodily autonomy. Sickening.

Also see the horrifying thread on here about women’s health concerns being routinely dismissed.

ViragoKnows · 01/12/2018 05:45

Amen. It’s infuriating.

Original poster
ofcourseibloodyncd · 01/12/2018 02:51

medium.com/s/man-interrupted/https-medium-com-zaron3-guide-to-being-a-gentleman-in-the-metoo-era-f87ef12a9caa

Yes male humans - it is a brave new world where you MUST get into that habit of listening

We shouldn't need #metoo before you did though

I'm glad it wakes you up

But you didn't need #metoo first. You could have listened before to women

Stop making us say it before you fucking listen

OP posts:
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