Feeling like I don’t want to use our local swimming pool

Yes Green the sign on the door was both ladies and gents, I opened it thinking there would be two more doors behind it for women and men's changing and walked straight into a main locker room with benches down the middle and naked men. Anyway it sounds like the no nudity signs are definitely needed and as I've said I've emailed them already this morning about it.

Has anyone asked the pools why the showers aren't cubicles?

At my gym the swimming pool changing rooms are unisex with cubicles but the showers are in one line next to the pool. The reason being that people were taking too long showering and washing hair, particularly after lessons.

They do have individual showers in the single sex dry side changing rooms for you to shower in, though only 2, so there's always a queue for them too.

That's the thing - if the cubicles are within a unisex communal changing room that's not much better and for many women and girls (and men too, of course) would still be a complete no-no.

There is a huge value in single sex spaces. I don't understand the refusal to see this. It's very usual in many cultures and communities around the world and has been demonstrated to be very beneficial to women and girls.

Xiaoxiong are you sure you didnt walk into mens by mistake!!!

Now that I think about it, the changing room I walked into and out again after seeing the naked men might have had cubicles in there somewhere. But I wasn't going to walk alone into the room of naked men to find out!! There is only one specific penis I ever want to see and it is attached to DH

So. Back to the issue, which is women being forced to shower in front of men.

Amen to that.

Ruby commented upthread that hers in the Caledonian Road, Islington are like this.

No they are unisex with cubicles. Not a big room where men and women have to get changed together.

You are all talking about places without cubicles but where are they?

Also note OP that the thread is now focused on attacking YOU for using the disabled (which yes, you shouldnt have.)

And thus no longer talking about women having to shower in front of men.

OP knows she shouldn’t have.

So. Back to the issue, which is women being forced to shower in front of men.

It doesn’t matter how confident you are, how much you’re just fine with it.

Some women aren’t. Some women cant - for religious reasons or just because they cannot bear to be that vulnerable around men.

Where women are washing, or naked, or dressing, or using toilets they are vulnerable and they need privacy. Men (decent men) hate this set up too. They need privacy and dignity, although safety is less of an issue.

I was talking about this last night with Dh. I asked DH last night what he’d do if he was teleported into a ladies changing room. He looked appalled and said ‘shut my eyes, die of embarrassment and claw the door down to get the fuck out of there.’ He HATES the idea of mixed sex changing as a default. It’s great to have a mixed third space for families and there must be much better properly accessible provision (changing places is an excellent campaign and small charity to support for those of you who feel strongly about this.)

There needs to be female only provision, men only provision, properly accessible provision, and a mixed area for families.

We just landed a probe on Mars - Sorting out changing rooms safely cannot be beyond the wit of man.

Ruby commented upthread that hers in the Caledonian Road, Islington are like this.

And OP would have made sure that if a disabled person showed up, she did not keep them waiting.

How? Does she have a crystal ball to know who is waiting outside?

More likely a person with disabilities would have seen the room occupied and just waited.

Sorry. I do not believe that anywhere has unisex changing rooms, with no cubicles. Unisex showers maybe but not changing rooms. No one would use them.

Can anyone provide a name, or link, to anywhere that does have them?

The OP should not have been put into a position of not having anywhere to change in privacy or where she felt safe, that's what we need to focus on here.

Yes. (Though calling other women insecure and whatnot may be more fun).

I agree, this is not about whether or not she should have used the disabled toilets (she shouldn't). The OP should not have been put into a position of not having anywhere to change in privacy or where she felt safe, that's what we need to focus on here.

Weetabix multiple women on this thread, including me, have had this experience of no cubicle unisex changing in various pools and gyms around the country.

Judging by the fact that so many people's unisex changing rooms have "no nudity" signs, I would guess that many others have also had the same experience as me!!!

But can you then not understand why young girls and older women also lack confidence.

The attendent probably left OP use the disabled facility because there was no obviusly disabled people in the pool. And OP would have made sure that if a disabled person showed up, she did not keep them waiting. The problem with focusing on identity is that it becomes a question of whose needs trup whose. Transwomen have more needs than young girls, perhaps. Acknowlegement of everyones needs/wants and some courtesty and common sense would take us to a dfferent place.

Saying that OP should not use an empty disabled provision, and that she has no right to feel uncomfortable showering with men she does not know, takes no one anywhere.

Are you saying that a swimming pool expects men and women to get changed, in the same room, without cubicles?

This is how it works where I usually go swimming. Personally, I do the towel dance. (The showers, which are segregated, are too wet and damp and too far removed from the storage boxes to be useful in that. Nobody uses them. Same for toilets.). But many of my friends simply prefer not to go there, and I do understand why.

I admire Greeneggs and Weetabix' body confidence, but I hope they can agree that theirs is unusual.

Gosh yes I am very confident about my broken body, covered in scars from surgery, that needs splints to keep my joints in place. Who wouldn't be?

Where do they have unisex changing rooms with no cubicles?

Nowhere I'm guessing is the answer to that.

Are you saying that a swimming pool expects men and women to get changed, in the same room, without cubicles? Codswallop.

I get changed in a cubicle and go home

The implicit question was obviously what to do when there are no cubicles.

I get changed in a cubicle and go home

Bully for you. Your leisure centre has cubicles. As I described above, mine does not, and I gave up using it because I felt uncomfortable. I also assume that pp gets in a car when she wears her wet cossie home. What does her teenage daughter do? Or local schools. (My local leisure centre has no parking anyway, so it is Boris bike or bus - neither great with a wet cossie.)

Single sex spaces are important.

Note OP says she feels uncomfortable. She is entitled to feel what she feels. She is also absolutely not unusual. I admire Greeneggs and Weetabix' body confidence, but I hope they can agree that theirs is unusual.

What do women and men do where there is only unisex provision?

I get changed in a cubicle and go home

What do women and men do where there is only unisex provision? Well, personally, I changed in the ladies toilets in the main reception and at other times wore my wet swimmers home. The OP used the disabled toilets which she shouldn't have, but that doesn't mean she needs to just get over sharing a changing room with men if that makes her feel uncomfortable or unsafe.

The point of the thread is that women are displaced by unisex provision of changing rooms and showers, unless they are completely open and pool facing etc etc. It doesn't mean they can displace disabled people, but men, especially naked ones, in closed unisex changing rooms do displace many women.

Speaking of which, this thread has prompted me to write to the leisure centre where I had my multiple swinging dicks experience and ask them to put up "no nudity" signs in the supposedly mixed changing room.

Excellent. Though it is somewhat pathetic that it takes 'no nudity' signs to make some men behave appropriately in mixed changing rooms.

It would be interesting to know just how many women and men remove themselves from participating in activities or outings due to mixed sex facilities where they have been hitherto used to single sex.