Badley Fuckitt Welcomes Careful Drivers

I hereby declare the Badley Fuckitt anthem is..... Drum roll please....

That one.
Voted by two of us.

Lights are on, snow is falling
Badley Fuckitt's transforming
A marvellous sight
We're happy tonight
Talking in our women's wonderland

All the things that are absurd
Have no place in this new world
We're rational sorts
At nonsense we snort
Talking in our women's wonderland

Additional verses anyone?

The vagina anthem?

Well arran, the lights are on and the snow is falling.
There can be a village show tomorrow if there are enough of us.
It rather depends on how busy tonight will be .

Me?
I'll be sat at the bar looking, shagged pensive.
I'm afraid I bailed out of MN for a day or two, this transborg thing has really pissed me off.

I was hoping for some rousing Hyrrrs not hymns: feminist Christmas Carols :

To the tune of Royal David's City

More than half of working women
Have been sexually harassed
Such as scary ass statistic
Surely belongs in the past
Banter's not a good excuse
"Lolz" can constitute abuse

www.culturewhisper.com/r/lifestyle/hyrrrs_not_hymns_feminist_christmas_carols/10731

Will there be a rousing choir singing The Vagina Anthem perhaps...?

Might I propose a couple of items:

twitter.com/CuriousUkTelly/status/1075902212713447425/video/1

Excellent news. Will there be a festive village show tomorrow or Xmas Eve?

Comic recitations? Songs? Special performances?

I thought you all might like to know that our lovely village Badley fuckitt will be switching on its Christmas lights tonight.

The snow is gently falling, the snow plough has been working just fine.
The roads and footpaths have all been cleared to enable access to all who wish to visit.

Enjoy the wonderful festive ambience.
You all deserve it after such a busy week.
I would love to see Martina pop in the Blue stocking pub. She would be most welcome.

(Nods to Boatyardblues)

Twisted
"Curing all ills with witchcraft"
I'm so glad some of us are keen to make a potion or two.

Stealthsquirrel said she has the vital ingredients.

Oh yes to Grit! My favourite rock (apart from
Bon Jovi).

Please can I come?
Previously known as PerverseConverse until the Christmas thread got me.

I definitely agree with the bookshop, and insist on the pub doing veggie lasagne and chips.

I'd offer my services as a nurse but pretty sure we'll cure all ills with witchcraft.

I'm a pretty good baker though. Excellent cupcakes.

In the library is there a copy of the city of ladies, or would you like me to donate one?

Crayfish lends itself to the same sort of recipes as many other crustaceans so it's fine on that score.

Lancaster Smokehouse and comparable gourmet producers offer crayfish pate so it's definitely an item that would justify its shelf space in the Visitors' Centre.

www.lancastersmokehouse.co.uk/smoked-fish-pate?product_id=664

If the portal could also manage to drop us kayakers off by the sea, we could also bring back very fresh fish for delectable meals and chowders for the Visitors' Food Court (however that's manifested in the pub/teashop/deli/Visitors' Centre). Also - sea vegetables!

Excellent. I'll acquire the skill of crayfish traps

Is crayfish paste or potted crayfish a thing? Just thinking of items to stock in our Visitors' Centre like the National Trust.

And all the off road cycle routes. Though I suppose, because BF only welcomes careful drivers, it will be safe to cycle on the roads.

Definitely up for that! Yes, absolutely needs to be swimmable/navigable water nearby, for so many reasons. And if we're isolated otherwise, all the running & walking routes are safe too - wear your headphones and run at night to your heart's content.

If I could spend part of every day in a boat then I would...

Me too. Circumstances have kept me off the water entirely this year, bar two very happy hours in a rowing boat with DH and DD. I'm pining for fjords, or lakes, or any body of water large enough to indulge my Ratty tendencies. Foraging from a kayak sounds wonderful.

You keep foraging arran and I'll turn your bounty into jam.

Excellent. I'll acquire the skill of crayfish traps - only the aggressive invaders who are supplanting the native ones, destroying water banks and waterways, of course.

foragedfoods.co.uk/how-to-catch-signal-crayfish/

You keep foraging arran and I'll turn your bounty into jam. I'm a demon at jam-making and also make my own mincemeat. I'm sure a Badley Fuckitt brand would go down a storm and bring in some foreign exchange.

I love kayaking, rarely get chance to go, though.

If I could spend part of every day in a boat then I would...

Feel I should mention that I forage from kayaks. For several weeks during the Summer/Autumn I eat kgs of blackberries and I've been known to eat hop shoots as Poor Man's Asparagus. (I like to think the hops grow along the banks because they fell off when being transported by the canal boats.)

Kayaking and broadsword together will be very useful, I'm sure.

I just need to sharpen the paddle blades to a keen edge

I love kayaking, rarely get chance to go, though. Not enough experience to teach beyond the basics, but enough to have fun. Happy to swap for brush-up sailing lessons, haven't done that since I was a teenager.