Badley Fuckitt Welcomes Careful Drivers

Yes Errol, I shivered at the mere thought of Illy and others ending up at Badley Fuckwitt.

Over there there'll be Arrons gluten free biscuits muddled up with the normal ones.

Because they don't think.

Heaven forfend you end up in Badley Fuckwitt - that's the country retreat of the dudey leftbros, isn't it?

A portal to the Antipodes sounds like a good idea, and for those who like the idea of swimming and kayaking but not so sure about the 'bracing' part, it should work in both directions ...a twin village with a lake or beach and the HP-stocked library may be required.

No worries Teawamutu, should have thought of Whittakers chocolate, best in the world, Chocolate Chip Cookies naturally, will try and get Fejoas, hey might bring over two buckets, hope they don't get squished coming through the Portal. Signing off now, Good night

illyria47 could you maybe get me some Whittaker's peanut slabs, Cookie Time chocolate chip cookies and if ripe already a bucket full of feijoas?

Teawamutu My inlaws live in Te Awamutu

Merry Christmas, Yeahnahyeah, I meant to say we would bring some No 8 wire, just in case!

illyria. Shhhh... We'll get all the prep jobs if the village knows we're the first to reach Xmas day...... Oh feck it, am I bovvered? Nah I'm not bovvered.

Well, I think I might have started a new Village with Badley Fuckwitt!
Will have to write the proper name down and be very careful when we chant it. Could land up in an alternative universe otherwise.

Yes, arranbubonicplague, I was thinking Hinge and Brackett too.
Fantastic the village has a Portal. Would it be powerful enough Ladies of the Village to transport two young/elderly gender critical feminists from the Antipodes? (Otepoti lillanne42 and me)
Obviously we would come bearing goodies from Kiwiland, Pavlovas galore, (Ours first, not Aussie) Hokey Pokey ice cream, Jaffas, Pineaaple lumps, lashings of Marlborough Sauvignon Blance, or Pinot Gris or anything alcoholic really.
Our Portal has to be the Library, near the Harry Potter books of course, perhaps holding one as we chant, take us to Badley Fuckwitt.
It's summer here so we would bring some sunshine with us, not too much, we don't want to melt the snow!
So much to do, so many talented women to meet, can't wait, it will be such fun!

Arron and Errol's tasty ideas are inspiring.
Honesty compels me to confess I'm not doing the baking, I was counting on Arran, and she hasn't disappointed. Her ideas (see pub thread) sound so good I'll volunteer too wash up for her if she wants (anything that won't go in the dishwasher, obv.)

Sous vide turkey is going on tomorrow. I'll be doing it with a first sear, and it will be in the water tank, so anyone who fancies a bit should just remove a piece and sear it again for themselves on Christmas day.

www.chefsteps.com/activities/crispy-tender-confit-turkey-legs

I'll leave in the usual gluten-free bread and crackers along with the other items but I'll make sure to package and label them clearly so there's no confusion.

Sauna after kayaking sounds grand - and it might help with this foul sinusitis. Put it this way - my head resembles a flotation device in its own right...

If anyone else is planning on some bracing festive swimming or kayaking or just wants to loll around inhaling delicious hot pinewood smells: I’ll be reopening the Badley Fuckitt community sauna from Xmas Eve- New Years’ Day.

I think the Bluestocking has the biggest walk-in fridge ever.
For keeping all the booze food fresh, obvs.

Tea
trudges off to Sainsbury's for the third 'last few bits' shop in two fucking days.

Same here, arghhh those pesky 'last few bits'.

You certainly can bring your homemade sloe gin.
Arron and Errol's tasty ideas are inspiring.

We need an oversized table to set it all up, maybe we need a cosy heated marquee in the Bluestocking garden.

Do not go short of home-baking. In addition to the usual extensive range of fruit cakes, the mince pies are made with Eliza Action recipe mincemeat, and there are several varieties of stollen.

Many varieties of Christmas cookies (including a very seasonal one with fresh cranberries).

Lots of Christmas Jam (quince-based) and various preserves.

In an ideal world without a job, commute etc I'd totally do all those things. I love baking, but work, cleaning and buying tons of crap seems rather to have taken over

But if I can come round and be appreciative I will. Can bring home made sloe gin...

We can have homemade mince pies, Yule log, damson flapjack etc as I'm pretty sure there are members of the community who genuinely enjoy baking.

We've got a cupboard somewhere in BF reserved somewhere for storing the gift bags and tissue paper to be reused in subsequent years, presumably?

A portal? Fucking brilliant, I'm on my way with the Christmas shop - gin, red wine, coffee liqueur, coffee, tea, brandy cream, ready made pigs in blankets and stuffing, and cava.

Anyone who'd like to join me for a carefully curated Best Bits of Christmas Lunch is most welcome. We'll be eating off paper plates.

Oh lord and butter. I'm homesick already. If the rents aren't too high, I'm moving in and staying and never leaving. I'm not much use on the whole, but I do know plants. I could assist the witches.

I have never given birth to another human being but I fucking love the line " we are women with vaginas, we gave birth to all you fools"...so very many fools!!!

Yay for the Vagina Anthem!!!!

At Christmas time, the women are all working
Keeping all lazy tikes from shirking
Tryin' to get the dinner to perfection
Keeping all the trouble out the way

Later on
When they're sleeping
And they're all soporific

We're happy to say
It's a wonderful day
When we're talking in our womens wonderland