Badley Fuckitt Welcomes Careful Drivers

Oh thank goodness.
Is it possible to have a holiday in Badley Fuckitt or do I have to move there? A naice hotel would be good but failing that a field I can pitch a tent in would do. I need some respite from the insanity and also from the screaming teenagers having a party across the road, how dare they have fun.
Also does anyone have seriously immodest quantities of chocolate?

"Putain sur Mer" - brilliant. Just the right twin town.

Can we also have a German twin town? I'm thinking a spa in the mountains, Bad Ficken.

Cheers Lang

Pulls up a chair and raises a glass - cheers Fermat & Bernard. I'd forgotten how well resourced Badley Fuckitt was - so many skilled resourceful women.

Good resurrection! We need some light relief.

After today, I'm need of a brandy.

I’m still in Putain Sur Mer, twinned with Badley Fuckett. Where we can come to learn the Gallic shrug from our talented cousins who sometimes lead the way in Just Not Giving A Fuck About Men.

I’m raising a pastis to you from across La Manche mes amis

Someone mentioned on another thread that we were all in need of a well-pulled pint, not to mention a blast of the patriarchy busting canon and a friendly bleat from the Bluestocking's resident goat.

So here it is, a bump for what appears to be the most recent Bluestocking thread.

Mine's a single malt whisky, please (Lagavullin if you have it, but that's quite hard to come by these days...)

Could I rest my saggy boobs and lardy arse for a few days?

I'll offer tea, cake and listening ears to anyone in need of a first response emergency off-load.

I’ve booked my train tickets and I’ve pinched my mum’s puppy. He’s not well behaved at all but he is cute and gives lovely cuddles, will that be all right? He’s also good at cleaning the floor so as long as you’ve got low-ish standards he prevents the need for hoovering. I’m also bringing elderflower fizz (dangerously alcoholic, natch) and as much wine as I can fit in my largest suitcase. I’m available for subversive crafts and more than happy for a natter in the swimming area of the river.

I’m well up for that tea. A summer of faintly subversive handicrafts is just what the doctor ordered

I could bring my sewing machine and retro fit really big pockets into our summer dresses?

I don't think we'll have any problem with visitors. Pam. Remember we have sharp stick patrols and possibly a moat.

I’m planning a summer sabbatical to BF, spending my time making really explicit clay Sheila Na Gigs and cross stitching rude phrases to sell to the discerning visitors

After the week we’ve had, I think I’ve earned it

Hmmm I’m wondering what sort of crime a village Bobby might have to deal with in BF? Or would it just be lost cats?

If BF ex-pats and incomers are about to arrive, then I wish to hand in my notice as the Village Bobby forthwith, if not sooner.

If anyone is interested in the role, please pick up the body armour, baton and taizer from the cupboard in the Church Hall marked "Childrens' Christmas Party'. Ideally, it would suit somone with their own police dog or horse and the energy to open the "station" between 0600 and 0630 hours every fourth Tuesday of the month (excluding October - April).

I, meanwhile, will continue to serve the community as Deputy Assistant Town Crier. Oh yea!

iguanadonna you'd be most welcome to stay at my guest house. Very reasonable rates, well-appointed rooms. Dogs welcome too

I can come and be the village doctor if you need one. My other skills are pretty limited though I can make a good cup of tea. I take women’s health seriously and am happy to make house calls in exchange for tea and cake.

Oh the river bend for swimming sounds wonderful iguana

Don't think I can relocate permanently at the moment, but since it's summer now could I come and help Minotaur with her excavation? Maybe a nice Roman fort? Could fancy one of them.

There's a dog room in the pub, right? And seats in the sunshine outside the tearoom? And a curve in the river for bathing after a hard day's digging?

Oh I'm in please. I've been looking for a large house in BF on Rightmove, but curiously can't find any mention. So if any of you know of a suitable property to run as a guest house/B&B for our visitors, do let me know. I'm imagining we will have visitors to bring in a bit of dosh?

I could do with a few days away in Badley, a haven of cake, tea and sisterly neighbours. Things have gone from the sublime to the ridiculous lately, I need a sanity break!
I’ve been thinking of keeping bees, can I bring them? I think they would be calming and absorbing and we can sell the honey for funds.

I’m pleased to see BF in the summer, it’s lovely!

I was asked to make a seed cake recently, and I must confess it was awesome with a cup of strong tea. Echoes of a different time. I will make another another and bring two batches of massive meringues, one swirled with chocolate, the other with raspberries.