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Original poster

Badley Fuckitt Welcomes Careful Drivers

439 replies

boatyardblues · 26/11/2018 18:36

That's where I want to live right now. Home of the Bluestocking pub and the Shady Pines, the favoured retirement home of gin-swilling, cantankerous elderly gender crit feminists. It's like that village in the Dales which dodged the bubonic plague and is a haven from PoMo fuckwittery. Anyone else in?

OP posts:
EmilieDuChatelet · 26/11/2018 20:33

There's got to be a book club for sure. Happy to set up the Badley Fuckitt Book Club. What will be first up? The Second Sex? Or something from Jilly Cooper's Oeuvre?

R0wantrees · 26/11/2018 20:32

Silver Moon bookshop?

Perhaps Silver Moonbeam more appropriate?

ErrolTheDragon · 26/11/2018 20:30

Of course we want young 'uns in the village - it's only Shady Pines which was for the 'elderly', though tbh I'm pretty sure it takes anyone who needs a good rest.

MrsWooster · 26/11/2018 20:26

It will indeed be a local shop for local people. Only naice things tho, and no blue hair dye (just lilac etc for those of us who are taking the Mrs Slocombe approach to advancing years).

JohnGalt · 26/11/2018 20:25

Never thought about it before but yes Mrs Lopsided is totally GC in the way you describe. ("Maybe you'd feel better after a shave, dear.")

ChewyLouie · 26/11/2018 20:25

If you’ll let some of the young ‘uns in, I can provide the pub with decent gf fare Smile

Katvonblackdeath · 26/11/2018 20:24

This village is sounding splendid!

JohnGalt · 26/11/2018 20:22

Silver Moon bookshop?

FermatsTheorem · 26/11/2018 20:21

I can play the violin and cello but not at the same time.

Grin

I play violin and viola, again, not at the same time.

Always makes me think of the Ladykillers (original version of course). Mrs Lopsided will of course live in Badley Fuckitt (I am sure Mrs Lopsided is GC, in a quiet "but of course it's obvious dear" sort of way).
Beamur · 26/11/2018 20:20

I would love a bookshop

R0wantrees · 26/11/2018 20:19

Definitely interested and need to relocate.
Thinking I could set up a small bookshop-cum-library.

Very good timing this.

terryleather · 26/11/2018 20:19

As much as I abhor the Guardian I very much like the Feast food section on a Saturday and yes there should be a wide spectrum of reading material in the shop...
I'd be up for food/cooking related activities and can there be a lovely bookshop too...?

JohnGalt · 26/11/2018 20:18

Can I come in?

I think you need a string quartet playing Boccherini in the teashop. I can play the violin and cello but not at the same time.

FermatsTheorem · 26/11/2018 20:16

katvonblackdeath loving the name change. But in honour of your previous moniker I think you should call your new abode in Badley Fuckitt "Gulag Cottage".

OlennasWimple · 26/11/2018 20:15

the guardian might be useful for lining the bottom of the litter tray I guess...

MindTheMinotaur · 26/11/2018 20:14

katvonblackdeath Okay that sold the village for me. I'll run the henge and small scale archaeological digs.

AnchorMum · 26/11/2018 20:00

I'll help in the deli, as long as we can have a tea shop on the side. No 'free-from' bakes will be served though, as too dry and powdery. Intolerant folk can always get their fill at the pub.

SuperSange · 26/11/2018 19:58

How elderly do I need to be? I could run a yoga class or something. And drink.

Beamur · 26/11/2018 19:57

There are some lovely recipes in the Graun weekend supplements too.
Can I bring my DH?

Beamur · 26/11/2018 19:55

How elderly? I like gin and have an allotment, but am sub 50...

Katvonblackdeath · 26/11/2018 19:53

Can I open a museum about witches there please... like Boscastle but with a GC twist?

DeRigueurMortis · 26/11/2018 19:52

Oh and don't ban the guardian - it would be a crime to deprive ourselves of laughing over some of the articles.

Maybe just stock a few copies in the pub to share out so we don't increase circulation too much but can still read the latest offering from Sanctimonious Morph for fun.

DeRigueurMortis · 26/11/2018 19:49

I've just popped my house on the market to come and join you. I'll tell DH when the sale has gone through.

I'm fond of cooking so happy to pop to the local pub to serve up a Sunday Dinner for all villagers (and yes I'll happily cater for vegans/vegetarians and food intolerances).

If anyone fancies opening a local Deli with me I'd be a very happy resident.

FermatsTheorem · 26/11/2018 19:49

Ooh, what are house prices like round there? Could I afford a modest dwelling (or even huge ancestral pile)?

I think, distasteful as the Graun is, we should stock everything. Very much in favour of a free press, including the freedom of that press to be wankers if that's the path they want to go down. (Even the Sun managed a stonker of a front page headline at the weekend, I noticed - "N'Golo Kante now pays more tax than Amazon and Starbucks").

UpstartCrow · 26/11/2018 19:48

I already live in the twin village, Bigley by the Sea. I say village, its more of a hermitage.

OK its a cave.