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Original poster

Badley Fuckitt Welcomes Careful Drivers

439 replies

boatyardblues · 26/11/2018 18:36

That's where I want to live right now. Home of the Bluestocking pub and the Shady Pines, the favoured retirement home of gin-swilling, cantankerous elderly gender crit feminists. It's like that village in the Dales which dodged the bubonic plague and is a haven from PoMo fuckwittery. Anyone else in?

OP posts:
JennyHolzersGhost · 26/11/2018 21:34

I could run the local parish newsletter, perhaps, if that would be useful ?

Fermats Flowers please marry me. I’ve never met anyone else who knows who Catherine Destivelle is.

Original poster
boatyardblues · 26/11/2018 21:32

Loving the witch museum proposal, the henge and the archaeological digs. It’s starting to sound a bit like Avebury.

I will bake cakes for the deli. They won’t be dainty, but they will be tasty.

I’m guessing the village hall is actually called the Germaine Bunbury Memorial Hall. It has a small feminist loaning library next to the catering hatch.

OP posts:
tobee · 26/11/2018 21:30

I'd like to come, I don't really have skills but I'm the right age demographic. Ooh I have managed a bookstand bookshop and am happy to fill in at unsocial hours.

Original poster
boatyardblues · 26/11/2018 21:25

I think, distasteful as the Graun is, we should stock everything. Very much in favour of a free press, including the freedom of that press to be wankers if that's the path they want to go down.

Good point well made, Fermats.

OP posts:
silentcrow · 26/11/2018 21:24

I would be delighted to run the library and/or school library (cos, buswoman's holiday). I would very much like to have R0wantrees as senior archivist. Smile

VickyEadie · 26/11/2018 21:21

Put my name down for residence right now. I have few useful skills and am overeducated in things of no practical use but am usually a good laugh. Though inclined to be sweary.

MIdgebabe · 26/11/2018 21:21

Fermat only if you keep your young, flexible, strong and bouncy thing from laughing at me

FermatsTheorem · 26/11/2018 21:20

Bon. Ca c'est tout (et le sum total de mon franglais).

Thinking of nice places near the edges of the Dales, could we have a Harrogate-style Turkish baths in a nearby town? With a single sex women's evening once a week?

AutumnCrow · 26/11/2018 21:17

Je voudrais etre in charge of la franglais twinning arrangements, s'il vous plait. Je suis trés keen on l'idée de une EU feministe grande.

FermatsTheorem · 26/11/2018 21:11

Ah, stupidly I played brinksmanship with my fertility and had DS incredibly late - so I find myself in my fifties with a very bouncy child, no spare time and rapidly atrophying muscles. I do take him out climbing, but given that I weigh 3 times as much as he does, obviously he can't belay me! Maybe I could hold your ropes, Midge.

MIdgebabe · 26/11/2018 21:05

getting on myself , although finding the empty nest has been great for training

StrangeLookingParasite · 26/11/2018 21:04

I could perhaps open the French sister village, Mont Vatefairefoutre, ou qqchose similaire? We could have a reciprocal arrangement.

Rufusthebewilderedreindeer · 26/11/2018 21:02

Omg errol you have a sausage dog!!!!

Badley Fuckitt Welcomes Careful Drivers
littlecabbage · 26/11/2018 21:00

May I join you? I'll start up a WI. There will be strict joining criteria (definitely no penises for a start).

FermatsTheorem · 26/11/2018 20:59

You're on, MIdge, but we'll have to start on diffs 'cos I am really rusty (and getting on, definitely not one of the bright young things...)

Rufusthebewilderedreindeer · 26/11/2018 20:59

r0wan beat me to the book shop/library opening

May i join you r0wan

I could cover lunches

Is the village near the sea?

MIdgebabe · 26/11/2018 20:57

I’ll second grit edegs ( and Fermat if needed)

ErrolTheDragon · 26/11/2018 20:53

Please be careful not to trip over my dog on your way into the pub, it's easy to miss a dachshund slumbering half under the table.

LangCleg · 26/11/2018 20:50

A copy of Bunbury's seminal work, How To Build a Community Aided by Gin will be in every residence. A bit like a Gideon bible, only for us.

terryleather · 26/11/2018 20:40

I'm hoping that the bookshop will be carrying the collected works of Germaine Bunbury...?

FermatsTheorem · 26/11/2018 20:39

Please, please, can it be a soft water area?

Excellent, that's two votes for gritstone country then. God's own rock, I'll have you know.

LangCleg · 26/11/2018 20:38

I also have allotment skillz.

And a Scrabble board.

Please, please, can it be a soft water area?

mypoosmellsofroses · 26/11/2018 20:38

I'm in, can do gardening, help in bookshop and generally waft around lending a hand where needed. Could also offer a wine/gin delivery service with a small bike trailer and a blue light for urgent deliveries.

terryleather · 26/11/2018 20:37

I'm hoping that there are pleasant walks to be taken in the environs, and readily available excellent coffee.
And loads and loads of cake.
Plus a dance like no one is watching disco night at the pub.

FermatsTheorem · 26/11/2018 20:36

I am so excited about the upcoming move to Badley Fuckitt.

If it is in the dales, might I ask whether it's limestone country or gritstone country? I would like a nice gritstone edge above the village if that could be arranged. And will the cafe cater to climbers too (pint mugs of tea, chip butties)? Happy to have two rooms, a genteel cakes and doilies room and a chipped wooden tables and old copies of "Climber" room. With posters of the female greats - Alison Hargreaves, Lynn Hill, Catherine Desteville (yup, that list's dating me...)