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Original poster

Badley Fuckitt Welcomes Careful Drivers

439 replies

boatyardblues · 26/11/2018 18:36

That's where I want to live right now. Home of the Bluestocking pub and the Shady Pines, the favoured retirement home of gin-swilling, cantankerous elderly gender crit feminists. It's like that village in the Dales which dodged the bubonic plague and is a haven from PoMo fuckwittery. Anyone else in?

OP posts:
Igneococcus · 28/11/2018 09:36

Can we also have our own cheese making farm? There needs to be cheese smile

There really needs to be cheese. As a microbiologist I can take care of everything fermentation related.

Fantata · 28/11/2018 09:21

I have a slow cooker. For food between cakes.

MrsWinkly · 28/11/2018 09:18

Can I come?
I could patrol the perimeter with a sharpened stick, or maybe that's a bit feral...
I could knit some lampost decorations for the main square and I'm a specialist at warm stripy jumpers, hats, scarves, blankets etc.
Allotment work would be perfect.
I don't know how to Morris dance but I could probably learn if required.
Can we also have our own cheese making farm? There needs to be cheese Smile
Do we have radio station yet? Our own village radio station would be very entertaining listening Grin

ErrolTheDragon · 28/11/2018 08:51

If we're doing house shares, I'll baggsie you, Martin!Grin

Igneococcus · 28/11/2018 08:25

Midges won't be a problem if I can bring dp (gender critical biologist) along. No midge has every shown any interest in anybody else if he is close by.

PutYourShirtOnMartin · 28/11/2018 08:14

Ok here are my skills

I make good cake
I can cook
I can service a car and a motorbike
I can do up houses ( renovated mine when I was a single mum)
I can keep folk alive
I know all the words to most Queen songs
I can't sing though
I can't dance

Will I pass muster ....

ChewyLouie · 28/11/2018 05:35

Portals and wormholes, sound exciting......I was planning on arriving on my broomstick! Would love a couple of mojitos lined up for when I arrive 😀
I want to bag a house overlooking the water (don’t mind a lake or the North Sea), I’ll have a veranda with a swing seat to enjoy the view and savour my mojitos.

DeRigueurMortis · 28/11/2018 01:07

I make wands in my spare time Wink

BubonicTheHedgehag · 28/11/2018 00:48

I do wonderful mojitos, if that's any help. With fresh lime and fresh mint and all.

ErrolTheDragon · 28/11/2018 00:29

Does the portal also radicalise?

Hm, I was assuming they wouldn't have to, but that would scupper incursions.

Original poster
boatyardblues · 28/11/2018 00:09

Does the portal also radicalise? Personally, I was never a fan of the Star Trek transporter beam (new you in the image of the old you, but a facsimile), so I would favour a wormhole if you are still drawing up the specification for the portal.

OP posts:
WrathofbubonicKlop · 27/11/2018 23:12

Whose up for going in the portal first?
Four of us so far.

Errol, fermats, myself, maybe we can persuade flo to join us.
If we all go together....

WrathofbubonicKlop · 27/11/2018 23:03

Oh the midgesSad
I will have to forgo the midge season,
unless someone knows a good witches potion that will obviously work.

I'm not familiar with that part of the world so I'll definitely be arriving by portal.

FermatsTheorem · 27/11/2018 22:49

Biscuit Aisle 9 1/2. I like this idea a lot. (Continuing with the Harry Potter vibe, could we maybe locate the island on which Badley Fuckitt sits at the end of the Fort William to Mallaig line, sandwiched in between the mainland and Skye? We would need some sort of midge removal programme though.)

ErrolTheDragon · 27/11/2018 22:48

(That was the closest public access point I could find to the Bunbury Arms)

WrathofbubonicKlop · 27/11/2018 22:27

With a nod to JKR, who would be around to advise how the portals work and join us all in the pub.

ErrolTheDragon · 27/11/2018 22:22

Portals, definitely. Despite the invitation to careful drivers, it might be nice if we could minimise dependence on cars - and save travel time, obviously.

JennyHolzersGhost · 27/11/2018 21:37

@womaninboots - many thanks ! You may find that there’s demand for a delivery service more generally. If you’re going around anyway then dropping a bit more stuff off would be efficient.

WrathofbubonicKlop · 27/11/2018 21:26

Maybe the trolley as well.

WrathofbubonicKlop · 27/11/2018 21:24

Errol
I do like the idea of a portal (or several), maybe a secret passage in the biscuit aisle at Tesco's.

The space between the regular biscuits and the posh ones would be a sign for the MNetters to secretly escape to the lovely Badley Fuckett without the faff of public transport or parking.

Melamin · 27/11/2018 21:03

I would like to move there. I need a property with a field for the sheep and hens I would like to keep. I haven't had any before, but it is a pipe dream of mine. I have all the books Grin. I have a donkey book too if anyone wants to borrow it.

WomaninBoots · 27/11/2018 20:58

Oh yes, that sounds like something we could assist with. The War Horse Express at your service.

Floisme · 27/11/2018 20:56

That’s really very kind although I don’t get on so well with pubs either these days as my hearing is shot (which makes me even more cantankerous).
Aside from a bookshop, which you’ve got covered my needs would be:
A coffee shop run by hipsters. (Don’t ask me why, they just make the best coffee. This is a peer reviewed fact.)
Decent hairdresser.
Good dress agency, vintage shop, charity shop.
Underfloor heating.

You have no idea how shallow I am.