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Original poster

Badley Fuckitt Welcomes Careful Drivers

439 replies

boatyardblues · 26/11/2018 18:36

That's where I want to live right now. Home of the Bluestocking pub and the Shady Pines, the favoured retirement home of gin-swilling, cantankerous elderly gender crit feminists. It's like that village in the Dales which dodged the bubonic plague and is a haven from PoMo fuckwittery. Anyone else in?

OP posts:
Original poster
boatyardblues · 30/11/2018 19:09

All you need to know about relativity but were afraid to ask. Why quantum mechanics is so weird. That sort of thing.

Fermats - I can honestly say I’d love to have a chat with you over beers or coffee, but only if you can explain it all in laywoman’s terms. I have high school science and I promise to listen carefully and ask questions if there are bits I’m struggling with.

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WrathofbubonicKlop · 30/11/2018 19:06

(Puts hand up)
I'm a scientist, not high up like Bowl, more bench work.
(Bows to Bowls superiority).
Not very good at arguing a point, which why I'll stick to mowing.

FermatsTheorem · 30/11/2018 19:06

I'm a theoretical physicist, but I suspect that's sod-all use to anyone (thinks of joke about the engineer, the roboticist and the theoretical physicist set the challenge of designing a horse). Though I could try my hand at popular science lectures. All you need to know about relativity but were afraid to ask. Why quantum mechanics is so weird. That sort of thing.

It is a bit of a standing joke that theoreticians are not safe to leave alone with any experimental equipment, but playing against type, I am actually quite good with DIY and machinery.

Bowlofbabelfish · 30/11/2018 19:00

Happy to be the village scientist (if that’s able to be combined with my yarn and fabric shop) but I’m no good at jars. All my ligaments are still loose from SPD..

Original poster
boatyardblues · 30/11/2018 18:55

I don’t feel we have enough ‘out’ scientists or practical skills declared yet. I am good at opening stubborn jars and lossening tight nuts (no sniggering at the back!), so will volunteer to be the “designated substitute bloke” for this oft-delegated role.

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FermatsTheorem · 30/11/2018 18:50

You shall have a sit-on mower. After all, I am getting my own JCB with which to dig the moat. (Hoping we still need a moat - now we've moved Badley to an island I suppose strictly speaking we don't, but I do have my heart set on a lovely yellow JCB of my very own.)

WrathofbubonicKlop · 30/11/2018 18:46

I rather regretted the pink monstrosity after I posted. I thought I'd killed the threadGrin

I would love to have rain at night to keep the grass green and warm sunny days to enjoy.
I'll mow the lawn.
Might need a sit on one.

FermatsTheorem · 30/11/2018 18:30

WrathofBubonicKlopp that pink monstrosity takes me back to the Graun's Obsborne-in-a-condom cartoons.

Have we decided what sort of climate we want for Badley Fuckitt? I'm thinking warm but not too hot summers, sunshine, rain overnight to keep the gardens looking nice, and definitely snow at Christmas. (I am presuming that we can choose the climate here...) Possibly with New England style autumn foliage.

Original poster
boatyardblues · 30/11/2018 18:05

That pink is too cheering and “feminine” for Badley Fuckett patrol squad. We should be looking at embracing the whole Pantone chart, including stereotypically “manly” shades, to give gender stereotyping the middle finger.

OP posts:
WrathofbubonicKlop · 29/11/2018 22:22

Upstart
Not like this one then.

Badley Fuckitt Welcomes Careful Drivers
UpstartCrow · 29/11/2018 21:46

WrathofbubonicKlop
Pink pussy hat balaclavas

That would look very strange.
There's a danger one might look like a knobGrin

Cat Woman does not look like a knob.

Original poster
boatyardblues · 29/11/2018 21:29

I hope the village green has a pond with Aylesbury ducks and some those funny little oriental ducks that dive underwater and leave a trail of bubbles whilst they are pottering about.

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ChewyLouie · 29/11/2018 21:23

Thelma and Louise next on the list Boatyard - with popcorn ( I’m a foodie I like my snacks 😀 )

Bowlofbabelfish · 29/11/2018 21:17

How about setting it to the village green preservation society, sandy?

Goddess bless Twitter bans
And all those who were awarded them...

We are the POMO condemnation affiliate,

Etc

WrathofbubonicKlop · 29/11/2018 20:28

Sandy
How about a mural?
If you could work on the outline, lots of us would enjoy colouring in.

ChattyLion · 29/11/2018 20:09

Yay Sandy! That would be amazing.

WTFIsAGleepglorp · 29/11/2018 19:35

Working on my handywoman skills.

Got toolbox, have worked out how to drill holes for Rawlplugs to screw stuff to walls.

Working on shelves next.

SandyDrawsBadly · 29/11/2018 19:33

I’ll definitely work on a village scene. It’ll keep me occupied the next time I end up in twitter jail.

Original poster
boatyardblues · 29/11/2018 19:03

Film Soc should definitely screen Thelma and Louise.

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WrathofbubonicKlop · 29/11/2018 13:23

The enthusiasm for the patrol is interesting.
Nice to know we have something good and that it needs protecting.

ISaySteadyOn · 29/11/2018 09:15

Can we alternate Jenni Murray and Jane Garvey? Or will Jane be the t annoy for the patrol asking questions of would be intruders?

WomaninBoots · 29/11/2018 08:56

QuentinWinters given the potentially remote, rural nature of Badley Fuckitt I think we'll be needing someone who is a dab hand with a septic tank.

ChewyLouie · 29/11/2018 08:56

I’m up for being the DJ at the party- any requests let me know 💃
I have a projector for a film soc at the memorial hall. Sense and Sensibility with Emma Thompson will be first ( I’ll be serving a cream tea too just because I need the flimsiest of excuses to have one).

Original poster
boatyardblues · 29/11/2018 08:53

I like the idea of marking the solstice.

OP posts:
Igneococcus · 29/11/2018 08:48

I'm sure you will all be pleased to hear that I started steeping the currants/raisins in rum for the Winter solistice Stollen (there'll be Almond Stollen for the inevitable dried fruit rejecters) for the party at the allotments. Party will start at sundown on the 21st at the allotment fire pit, if you could all put that into your diaries, that'd be grand.

I can knit Nifflers, they might be good for the gift shop. We could put little suffragette rosettes on them.