Allow prostitution in care homes

and?

I heard the nurses in the crimean and first world war were happy to give the returning disabled or dying soldiers a hand or blow job.

Well I'm sure sex workers really enjoy giving a blow job to a doubly incontinent man, and I'm sure this notion panders to heterosexual males only.

As Fermat said. If it's gone it's gone. I can no longer give birth. I can no longer breast feed. I no longer have periods. That part of my sexuality has finished.

Personal care is messy business. It involves wiping shit up and changing clothes and sheets. This for men who are not considered frail, elderly or dementia patients.

Here's Becky Adams who got an Outsiders award (Tuppy Owens founded Outsiders)
www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2260701/Madam-Becky-Buckinghamshire-open-British-brothel-mental-physical-disabilities-including-boys-autism-injured-soldiers.html

I agree that the small minority of women who enjoy sex work and appear not to be harmed by it are freeloaders

like the factory that dumps all it's polluted effluent into the river
Makes a profit and offloads all the damage

Some advocates just really seem determined to access vulnerable people

Yes and it is generally pretty sexist. It is all about bolstering penis entitlement. Very few women are having their sexuality pandered to and in the case of the woman I spoke about, she said that there were a couple of women who would claim to be into kink being very outspoken in a way that made it difficult to raise objections.

Some advocates just really seem determined to access vulnerable people. JFC. Really rethinking my original opinion now.

Tuppy ? Tuppy ?

These dolts even have to have a sex name, don't they ? Arsehole.

Here is a review of Ozimek's book written for CAAN (Consenting Adults Action Network) in The FWord not sure if it is at the point the whole site drank the Koolade.
thefword.org.uk/2010/09/beyond_the_circ/

I have chatted at length with a woman (from Manchester) who was really put off disability rights activism because there was a strong CAAN presence. She was instinctively opposed to the sex industry and disabled people such as herself being seen as a 'kink' for the pervy dudes. She had no place to go for more feminist antiporn/prostitution disability rights activism.

Whoa. LikeDust that's some extremely interesting connections. Just the other week I was driving home from baseball training with DS2 when an interview came on the radio with a sex worker (using her self description) discussing her 'adventures' some funny, some really moving. Tired driving on dark windy road, not the time to fiddle with changing channel, very awkward listening with 14 yo. Thankfully distracted with phone. The interviewee came across friendly and personable too.

Here is Tuppy Owens, founder of TLC and Outsiders. She has been really instrumental in getting public sympathy for prostitution via disabled people. She organised this event in Manchester.
www.mancunianmatters.co.uk/content/300573576-horny-disabled-people-get-little-tlc-intimate-manchester-luncheons

Here she is interviewed by Tom O'Carroll, founder of the Paedophile Information Exchange (PIE).
ianpace.wordpress.com/tag/tuppy-owens/

She is also founder of the Sex Maniacs Ball and the sexual freedom coalition. She was very vocal in objecting to the obscenity laws that John Ozimek (later Jane Fae) took issue with.

She is a friendly female face of the sex industry.

That loss of inhibitions also means that discretion is unlikely to be happening, so again, what about the staff, and the other residents?

I probably should add this was semi independent living
All had their own apartments. Very different to when they are in more supervised care due to vastly deteriorated health and or dementia which can be a whole different scenario.

Isn't it the case that dementia can be accompanied by a loss of inhibitions? So that far from having legitimate needs satisfied some elderly men or indeed women will be facilitated to act in a way which would have horrified their younger selves.

Ok so as I've said before, I'm fairly new to this feminism game. So I just wanted to reiterate that in case of offence, because I'm still learning.

When I was much younger I was of the opinion that prostitution had a valid role in society, mainly to provide an outlet for men so (a) their wives/partners didn't have to perform acts they weren't comfortable with (b) dudes that couldn't get laid had somewhere to get off so they weren't out raping random women. Yes I was incredibly young, naive, and stupid.

I do feel quite torn about the difficulties faced by people with disabilities. A dear friend of mine works providing in home care and outings for them. From what she has told me at times, they can be rather highly sexual. I'm not sure what the solution would be in this situation? Obviously the safety and dignity of all residents in a care home should be paramount and it's not certainly not the responsibility of staff to organise this type of thing.

Retirement homes are a different story - my DH Grandma was in one for several years (RIP) she was quite feisty, according to her there was great competition among the ladies for the vastly outnumbered men. I spoke with her quite a lot since her sons living far away, decided to put her close to DH and I, and as the sahm it became my responsibility to check in on her, liaise with administration. We often went as a family with the boys to join her for a Sunday lunch or weeknight dinner (residents loved seeing the kids) during those times we could actually witness some of the flirting and carrying on, all seemed quite consensual. Unfortunately seeing how poorly a lot of retirement homes treat the residents, I don't have much faith that those with abusive history are flagged and monitored. It's definitely an issue.

Absolutely AAK

Prostitution is about getting unwilling women to suppress their aversion and disgust to do repugnant things for men who have the money she desperately needs, even if she has to dissociate from her body and get ptsd doing it.

Porn really is the main propaganda for male sexual entitlement. These dudes in care homes need a reality check.

And again, what about Helen the nurse who pops in to give everyone their pills, or Mary who's visiting to give her toddler a chance to see gran, or Jane who really would rather not be seeking out a prostitute for Dave who's insistent that he has a right to one and who's being coerced into facilitating something she's deeply uncomfortable with and that was not in any way part of the job that she signed up to do? Why is Dave more important than everyone else?

I know this is deeply threatening to the macho ego, but maybe at a certain point men are just too bloody old for sex to be a realistic possibility, especially sex with an attractive young stranger. Maybe we should be encouraging those men to come to terms with the reality of their situation and enjoy the rest of their lives rather than entertaining them by giving them desperate women to abuse. Maybe if absolutely nobody wants to have sex with you then you just don't get to have sex.

Thinking about how long the echos of abuse and trauma blight people's minds - the flashbacks, the terrors, the panic attacks the short-term financial gain could never be worth it. You'd pay all that money and more for peace of mind.
And lots of women in prostitution just buy a load of shite they don't really want or need to compensate. How about not traumatising yourself in the first place instead of filling your life with flashy materialistic shite?

Sorry predictive text changed residents to resents.

Rivera have you ever been in a care home ?
“Women and men should have access to pornography in their residence” ...I have spent a lot of time in care homes, along with my small daughters. Most resents have some level of dementia. I really can’t imagine that any of the women I met would have wanted porn, and women vastly outnumber men in homes. Out of 22 residents in my Mother’s care home there were two men, both of whom died while she was there, leaving none.
People with dementia wouldn’t be keeping porn use to themselves , I can assure you, and care homes have children like mine ,visiting relatives. They have a largely female staff.
Being supportive of loving relationships continuing is one thing, promoting the expoloitation of women in a communal home , full of women and with children visiting, is quite a different matter.
Agree this is a Trojan horse. I remember 30 years ago the push for disabled men to have access to prostitutes . Grim. Getting a shag isn’t a human right.

Rixera you will never convince me that using men's fucked up sense of entitlement to penetrate women's bodies (as long as they have the money to over ride consent) is a good thing for individuals and for society. Never
Well said

Ugh

There simply is not enough money in the world that would send me in that direction. Unless I couldn't feed my children. But that isn't consent, is it.