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Original poster

Gender identity at 3yo

37 replies

WrongSideOfHistory · 21/11/2018 23:15

I've recently completed a development questionnaire from my health visitor for my 3yo.

One of the questions was (paraphrasing) "can your child tell you if they're a boy or a girl?"

I've mentioned this to others and they've not come across it, so it must be a new thing.

Does anyone have any knowledge of this/why it's been brought in? I'm wondering if it's being linked to the growing trend of children being labelled as trans if they don't conform to gender stereotypes.

For the record I told the HV that he has no concept of boy/girl, he's just a child like his friends and the longer he wasn't impacted by society stereotypes the better.

OP posts:
Original poster
WrongSideOfHistory · 22/11/2018 00:13

Well it's good to know that this isn't a new thing. With some people saying it was I was wondering if it was linked to something else, but if it's been around a while maybe not.

I'm sure he'll figure out what sex he is at some point Smile

OP posts:
ErrolTheDragon · 22/11/2018 00:07

"can your child tell you if they're a boy or a girl?"

I think that's simply asking if they know which sex they are - small kids are aware of there being men and women, boys and girls - not 'gender identity'.

Weetabixandshreddies · 21/11/2018 23:58

I was asked this question and my children are 19 and 24.

Annandale · 21/11/2018 23:57

I had this question at some point and D's is 14. Awareness both of sex differences and gender stereotypes associated with the the sexes is a developmental stage.

catsofa · 21/11/2018 23:55

He was quite amused to find out that some cats also have willies and some have vulvas Grin

catsofa · 21/11/2018 23:54

Mine is three and a half and hasn't noticed gender yet, he obviously knows he has a willy and some other people do and some other people don't, but he hasn't linked that with pronouns (which he just uses at random) or gendered behaviour or interests or anything.

I expect he'll notice at some point, I'm in no rush to point it out to him. It doesn't seem to cause or be a symptom of any issues at all!

Original poster
WrongSideOfHistory · 21/11/2018 23:43

@donquixotedelamancha - that's really interesting as I've spoken to a few people (including early years educators) and they'd never heard of it 🤷🏾‍♀️ - or maybe they didn't register it...

My 3yo has no concept of gender. I'm sure he will at some stage but just not yet.

OP posts:
Justajot · 21/11/2018 23:27

I would have thought that most 3 year olds could tell you if they were a boy or girl. I don't mean that they should associate that with other stereotypes, but is is pretty basic to know that you are a girl or boy.

donquixotedelamancha · 21/11/2018 23:25

I've mentioned this to others and they've not come across it, so it must be a new thing.

Nope. It's a very old thing. Perfectly normal question. Nothing to do with gender identity.

He will know he's a boy. He should know he has a penis and that girls don't around this age. He will likely start asking questions about it at some point- curiosity is perfectly common.

He may also start identifying as a girl soon- or a parrot, or a fire truck or a superhero. That's perfectly normal too.

the longer he wasn't impacted by society stereotypes the better

Amen to that. My 5 YO DD started to really pick up on the gender drivel from around 3.5 onwards. It was shocking how much tosh she picked up by osmosis.

Haworthia · 21/11/2018 23:24

Are you in the UK? There’s usually a two year check; I’m not familiar with a three year check.

Either way, weird question.

Original poster
WrongSideOfHistory · 21/11/2018 23:22

It was just on the list along with asking if they can read emotions etc - 2x 5-6 page questionnaires I filled out...

OP posts:
Shriek · 21/11/2018 23:19

Not heard of that, don't have a three year old,but they should explain a weird question like that. We don't have to tell the state everything about our DC!

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