Genuine question - not goady, I promise, I am GC myself..How do we safeguard boys (generally age 8+) in changing rooms and toilets?

I hate sending my seven year old into the gents alone but he is very uncomfortable coming into the ladies with me so sometimes it's unavoidable. I always just say something like don't talk to strangers but don't really like to instill the fear of God into him about potential predators so I don't go on and on about it. I just try to be sensible, stand by the door so people can see I'm waiting there for him, talk to him as he's going in so anyone in there hears I'm out there waiting. It's bloody ridiculous I should be made to feel like I have to do these things in this day and age though. I think the future of public toilets should be all floor to ceiling lockable cubicles, and a communal open plan space for handwashing easily visible to the rest of the building. I've been to certain places like this actually and it works quite well.

More family based toilets

But the women's is basically a family toilet for young boys and I don't think older boys will want to go in with their mums even if it is a "family toilet". we're basically talking about male tweens, it's a very specific category who are most embarrassed by their mothers anyway.

Yes. Talking about how to safegaurd vulnerable children on a board that relates to a political movement that recognises male violence (when the rest of society tries to avoid this recognition) is goady beyond belief

You obviously have very strong ideas on how we're all getting it wrong. Why don't you tell us how to sort it?

I don't quite understand what you want women to do, OP. Because I am afraid it does sound like you think this is a problem for women to solve.

I have 2 ideas seeing as men (namalt)have 0 desire to do anything about this problem and apparently 0 responsibility to do anything.

1. More family based toilets or 2. Maybe a genuine little boys room that adult males are not allowed in.

And that's all I have.

^We could make the same argument about any feminist issue. The problem is ultimately with men but that doesn't stop it us needing to talk about it or try work towards a solution.
I do agree with you but I'm still out with my 8yo and having to make these decisions.^

Yes, but feminism tend to discuss male violence as a whole and the ways we can react to make women safer from it. DV shelters, women's toilets etc. But the problem is that male children do become men. It's a grey area when they are seen to be a threat by other women. But it's not for feminists to sort out.

As parents all we can do is try and avoid it whenever possible. What logical option is there that doesn't involve unisex toilets and the larger risk they have for women? The vast majority of sexual offenders are heterosexual.

I agree with GardeningAndKnitting

I only have boys. My 8 year old goes in the mens reluctantly, my 5 year old demands it. I send them in together, loiter outside, and make sure I can hear them talking to each other. If DP's there, then there's no problem anyway.

How are boys safeguarded? Well as gardening says, by being the target of a smaller group of men than girls are, they are already at lower risk hopefully. And that smaller risk, that we'd like to see smaller still? Increasing women's discomfort, or girls risks, will do nothing to mitigate.

We've given you the options.

Shout loudly outside.

Pee in a bush.

But go with goady, if that suits your agenda

Thanks, OP, I’m leaning towards thinking this is a goady agenda too.

the problem is that short of men sorting out we are left with few options. Women take on more risk with unisex toilets, or send the boys in alone, or well, that's it really.

We could make the same argument about any feminist issue. The problem is ultimately with men but that doesn't stop it us needing to talk about it or try work towards a solution.
I do agree with you but I'm still out with my 8yo and having to make these decisions.

www.express.co.uk/news/uk/1004231/gender-neutral-toilets-home-office

This seems quite goady. I'm reporting the thread

The OP is either being goady or has conflated being gender critical with being a feminist (which I have seen quite a bit here lately) and so thought all bathroom questions should be pointed at the feminist section.

starsandwater the problem is that short of men sorting out we are left with few options. Women take on more risk with unisex toilets, or send the boys in alone, or well, that's it really.

There is nothing women can do about male violence other than be feminists and teach our sons to not be arseholes.

I came on to discuss how boys are safegaurded. The answer appears to be with magical thinking
This seems quite goady. I'm reporting the thread

Unisex toilets are the answer. I wish they were all unisex. Cubicles only obviously.

Totally agree. Throw a woman under the bus for equality.

www.independent.co.uk/life-style/women/sexual-assault-unisex-changing-rooms-sunday-times-women-risk-a8519086.html

I'm a single mother. And while it's all very well saying that men need to step up (and they should), I'm still the only parent around when I'm out with DS, as are all the other single mothers.
As to whether it's the job of feminists to protect all children, I don't think it's the 'job' of feminists to do anything.
However, a good deal of feminism is concerned with the nature of male violence, and that's something that affects male children as well as female ones. It's also something that women disproportionately have to worry about because they are more likely to be the caregivers.
Saying that's unfair doesn't make the problem go away for mothers or their children.
I think the issue of male children in the mens is definitely worth talking about and one that doesn't have an easy answer.
I'd very much like to know how other mothers deal with it.
For me, DS is just 8 and I wait for him right outside, and we've had conversations about what to do if he's uncomfortable. It does worry me though.

When I said "we" as in, how do we protect male children, I meant society.Not feminists. I apologise if you thought I was conflating me and the people on this board as an "us" of some kind.

Oh right, soz. My bad I assumed as you posted in the feminism section, that you meant feminism.

Unisex toilets are the answer. I wish they were all unisex. Cubicles only obviously.