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Original poster

Ok, so what's all this about @xx posters being "rude"?

90 replies

ButchyRestingFace · 17/11/2018 13:36

Come at me gently, please.

I do it all the time. And I'm a feminist.

OP posts:
HellenaHandbasket · 17/11/2018 14:09

I don't think the odd tag is rude per se. But I have seen a few threads where goady posters have done it repeatedly despite being asked not to. It is reminiscent of small kids poking each other to get a response.

TallulahWaitingInTheRain · 17/11/2018 14:03

I have my notifications switched off.

hipsterfun · 17/11/2018 14:01

Surely the etiquette depends on the context?

So, for example, if you want to ask someone a question or answer a question, esp in a fast-moving thread, which is neutral in tone, it’s fine.

Where it seems unacceptable is when the tone has moved away from neutral. In the context of a more heated discussion, it feels like being all up in someone’s face to @ them.

AliceRR · 17/11/2018 13:58

I never even realised this was in an issue

Good to know!

Frankenterfer · 17/11/2018 13:55

I hadn't appreciated this and have done it a few times when responding to people on a thread, will not do it any more.

EmpressAdultHumanFemale · 17/11/2018 13:53

I'm happy for someone to just bold my name but I don't like the emails. I can't reasonably expect people not to @ me so I changed my settings.

I wouldn't @ somebody unless they weren't already on the thread & I wanted to draw their attention to it.

If I'm responding to someone who's already on the thread I'll just bold them. Using the @ in that case makes me feel as if I'm being intrusive & shouty.

I'm being very careful to make it clear that is is MY preferences, how I feel, & not meant to be judging anyone else.

Original poster
ButchyRestingFace · 17/11/2018 13:46

It’s the email harassment I think.

Yes, I can see people not liking getting the email if they've had a bad experience on a thread and are trying to put it out of mind yet plop, plop, plop goes the email.

If a poster asked me not to @ them, I would obviously respect that. But without a specific request, I wouldn't give two thoughts to @ them.

I generally don't use @ to tell people I think they're a "fucking dick" or whatever though. that's what upper case is for

OP posts:
justforareply · 17/11/2018 13:45

I used it a few times until
I realised it was bad form (now I just bold) to say ty to specific posters who had answered my OP or to reply to specific queries

Batteriesallgone · 17/11/2018 13:43

And I KNOW you can change your email settings but...you know...CBA.

MN is anonymous and getting an email makes it feel not anonymous somehow. It’s jarring.

Batteriesallgone · 17/11/2018 13:42

It’s the email harassment I think.

Fair enough bold someone on a thread, when they are there to read it.

But someone going about their day getting an email they’ve been called out, it’s not very nice IMO.

Bad move from MN introducing it I think.

GreenEggsHamandChips · 17/11/2018 13:42

Yeah. But still. Often that's why

Original poster
ButchyRestingFace · 17/11/2018 13:40

It can feel like you're making a general discussion very personal

But surely that's what posters do when they bold quote the person they're responding to?

OP posts:
Original poster
ButchyRestingFace · 17/11/2018 13:39

Yes, I know what it does, I get the emails when someone "@" me.

But I don't understand why it would be considered off form.

OP posts:
GreenEggsHamandChips · 17/11/2018 13:39

It can feel like you're making a general discussion very personal

Laceythesheep · 17/11/2018 13:38

It will email the person you are referencing and some people don’t like that.

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