Ok, so what's all this about @xx posters being "rude"?

Ridiculous, it’s not rude whatsoever. If someone doesn’t like it then so be it - the option is there to turn off ones email notification.

If you are involved in discussion with a certain individual then it is exactly that inidividual you would like notified.

Some people really can and do take offence from all sorts of the most trivial things, I would hate to live my life like that

For me, Lass, as I explained, it's the @. It's just something I personally find terse and the equivalent of jabbing a finger, as I said.

How is @LassWiADelicateAir more aggressive than LassWiADelicateAir ?

Done like that where it's constant I can see would be annoying, when it happens literally just once and you've done it only the once and said poster goes "don't @ me. It's rude." You do go eh?!

I suppose people are just so used to doing it that way on Twitter & Facebook that this doesn't seem any different.

I can see the list of names coming up would be useful, but typing full usernames has never really been a thing here either unless you really want to? Everyone's always been fine with short versions.

I hardly ever see the @ feature used in Chat or AIBU, it seems far more prevalent in FWR.

I have personally seen it used in FWR on several occasions by one poster to another poster who was on the thread very much 'live' in the discussion, responding almost immediately to points made, so what was the point in continually @'ing that poster? They were there, reading and engaging and would have received about a dozen e-mails from the same person alerting them to points made in a thread they were actively posting on, and had already responded to. Why? it's totally unnecessary. When it is done like that it does come across as abrasive.

Ah well that explains part of it then, because that doesn't happen on the laptop.

Like this

Ah well that doesn't happen on the laptop.

If I @ on the app a list of users,including OP shows up which is handy.

OK, perhaps there's a difference between posting on the app and a laptop? I have to type the full name of the poster if I @ them - is it different on the app?

It's just a bit of forum etiquette. NBD

Says who? And how long has it been a "thing"?

It isn't.

Wow that is a lot of meaning,feeling and intent attributed to one key. I @ because I'm lazy(easier than bolding and remembering/typing every username ,especially if responding to more than one) and that's it,no hidden meanings or much thought goes into it.

Don't think it's been a thing for long Butchy, I've only seen it be a thing recently. Never by anyone outside of FWR posting, interestingly.
Says who? People "In The Know" or "Da Club" at a guess

I don't get the emails because I've turned them off, but I still think doing the @ before the name feels aggressive. Bolding doesn't, it doesn't have the @ before the name.

It does feel like someone who is name checking you all the time to make you reply. It's the forum equivalent of 'oi I'm talking to you' I suppose.

"towards the top left" - actually, just at the top of every talk topic.

Just in case any other older gits didn't know where to find notifications, they're under Customise, under the 'Talk' drop down arrow towards the top left of Topic pages on the home page. (I still think they're silly.)

There's a thing some people do in real life where they use your name every sentence, it feels creepy, like they're using it to control you. The worst case I've ever seen was that interview with the doctor chap and Posie Parker, loved how she name checked him back every single time. No question he was doing it deliberately and not from a good place.

I can't quite put a finger on why it's aggressive but it is isn't it? Perhaps it's mimicking the way teachers address someone by name if they think they're not attending properly.

So you might use it to get someone's attention if you wanted to ask them something and weren't sure they were still following, but using it in the middle of a conversation is unnecessary and feels like real life aggressive naming. On FWR people do tend to follow discussions through whereas on a thread about baby names people commonly just give their advice then wander off so you would probably need to @ them to get their attention again.

Oh, I didn't know this. I've used it recently because it's easier than remembering the spelling / capitalisation of the poster's name.

You can't really tell at what point someone has left a thread. Any post might be their last one before they go off and do something else.

Yes, but on the other hand it also very egotistical to assume if one said it on page 2 of a 20 page thread that everyone spotted it and made a mental note not to use it

Good point! Never thought of that. Yes, it's rude to keep on doing it if you know it upsets a poster, but then again not everyone is going to have seen the comment saying "stop it, I don't like it it's rude!" are they?
Oof. Minefield lol

Pebble why don't you address your complaints to MNHQ. They introduced this function and presumably if enough people complain they will remove it.

Posters have explained the reasons they like it. It takes literally 2 seconds to disable it.

obviously it's rude to keep on doing it to anyone who has said they don't like it

Yes, but on the other hand it also very egotistical to assume if one said it on page 2 of a 20 page thread that everyone spotted it and made a mental note not to use it.

I like it.
I’m not likely to spend long on a thread so to me it’s really useful to know that someone has responded to me.