How do you deal with PMT as a feminist?

@RagingWhoreBag yes it can be particularly bad if he hypos, it's like dealing with an angry, irrational drunk person. He is 5 stone heavier than me, so trying to 'control' him for want of a better word is almost impossible when he gets like that. He can no longer throw my PMT 'mood swings' in my face because I get a bit snappy, as it's not a patch on him in a hypo.

All this just reminds me that we need fewer doctors claiming the female body is a toxic mix of raging hormones, and more doctors looking at the natural cycle of a women's body and how to address issues like mood swings, or the physical consequences.
Exactly. Well said.

sorry about the typos.

All this just reminds me that we need fewer doctors claiming the female body is a toxic mix of raging hormones, and more doctors looking at the natural cycle of a women's body and how to address issues like mood swings, or the physical consequences.

I didn't have mood issues, but I did have irregular and lengthy periods. The ob gyn said "oh, we can fix that" gave me hormones. Ended up with moodiness, and heavy heavy flows with accompanying with recurrent anemia.

That and relationships are hard. Best to you raging whatever happens.

I've never suffered from PMT really until quire recently (premenopausal, probably). I totally understand your dilemma OP. But if my dh were to comment, I would point out that my pre-menstrual mood is still more stable than his! Yours sounds like a twat though (sorry).

misa I didn't mean to imply that the effects weren't real. It just annoys me that normal hormonal fluctuations get robbed off as something that needs fixed.

I totally agree about womens health.

Sorry raging I just got angry. I split from DH 6 months ago for similar reasons so I just saw red

Quentin I don’t think it’s as simple as objecting to women’s hormones being treated as a medical problem- for many of us they are a medical problem. I have pmdd and the hormone changes during that time make my pain conditions, dislocations and attention span all much worse. Other women have prementstrual psychosis, pnd, post natal psychosis, or other hormone problems like pcos or endometriosis that effect exclusively women. These are very real problems that do not get taken seriously enough. There’s also a lot less funding allocated to how medication effects women. We already get way too little recognition or support for women’s health problems so we really need more recognition of how women’s hormones can negatively effect our health. What we don’t need our feelings dismissed by ‘that time of the month’ but pretending that women’s hormones can’t cause damage to physical and mental health harms many women also.

Well he’s taking some time to consider whether he still wants to be in a relationship with me at the moment
Fuck him. Seriously. LTB. How dare he?

Well some women do actually go mental, it’s called PMD. I know someone who has it. She is s very reasonable, highly intelligent woman most of the time but on about three days of her cycle she turns into a raving lunatic with anger management issues. I get really down about three days before my period starts. I just cry my heart out. The rest of the month I am really easy going.

It's always useful to have a good understanding of how your mood changes as the month progresses - that way you can expect the inevitable.
However, I also tend to think of the week when I am irrational and weepy as the normal me. Who says that it isn't? and that the other three weeks when I am being lovely and relaxed, is my abnormal state.

That way you can point out that you could very well be irrational all the time - you just choose not to be (not the other way round).

He got a formal warning at work recently for being aggressive to a new employee, who subsequently left, so basically he bullied someone out of their job. And yet it’s my moods we need to worry about.

whore
Sounds like DARVO to me. Or at the very least deflection.

It's ill-advised for any man to ever mention PMT. There is literally no benefit to anyone.
True dat

I point out that I behave like a man behaves all the time for just a few days a month and what a blessing it is I don't behave like a man on all the other days. I don't get tearful just more irritable

I don't get the moody sort of PMT but I do become really physically clumsy - dropping things for no reason, blundering into walls and furniture, spilling food all down my front, etc. It took me ages to make the link with my cycle, but once I had, I tried to avoid undertaking anything requiring dexterity at the relevant times. Where it's unavoidable, I just have to allow extra time and make myself work more slowly. I never draw other people's attention to this because I suppose I have an aversion to seeming less competent because of my female hormones...

My DW says that it's when she has PMT that she sees things most clearly - a gift from the goddess. The rest of the time she puts up with shit that men wouldn't, and PMT puts things into perspective.

It's ill-advised for any man to ever mention PMT. There is literally no benefit to anyone.

Just seen Nuffaluff's reply. Seems very similar. My DH is very calm and rational too. He has said a few times it feels like weathering the storm.

I feel like I'm emotianlly unstable.
I don't get pains (usually) or weepiness, I get fury, grumpy, angry and irrational which borders on abusive at times.
I've been horrible to DH and DCs, but when it's not there I'm very repentant, but I can't do anything about it.
I'm surprised DH hasn't left me a few times tbh.

The only effect PMS has ever had on me is to make me seriously horny. DH looked forward to it. Same with the last trimester. Couldn't get enough.