WTF Teen Vogue?

Exactly, fermats.

What a low, low bar some people set for women's sexual enjoyment and autonomy if it's mostly about explaining how she can avoid pain and injury doing it.

I find that thinking particularly repellent and pernicious. My colourful gynae history means that there have been times that sex is painful and honestly impossible. I've had several gyneacologists explain to me to how to tolerate pain during sex, how to minimise pain during sex, one of whom went as far as to remind me forcefully that "your husband has needs, you know". But none of them ever once, not ever, talked about my pleasure. And when they meant sex, they meant penetrative sex. The question they routinely ask - "do you have pain having sex" - always means PIV sex. They mean "does your partner's penis hurt you?". Actually, due to adenomyosis, I had excruciating pain on orgasm, but none of them had the first fucking idea how to deal with that.

So fuck that. Fuck telling girls and young women that they ever have to tolerate pain in their sex lives. No.

I digress. But this stuff matters - how we talk to young people about sex, and set their expectations for pain and for pleasure matters.

It might be distasteful but young people do do it and I'd rather they knew how to do it safely.

I'd rather put these young women knew how to refuse it safely. Given the coercion the boys admit to.

But hey, priorities.

It might be distasteful but young people do do it and I'd rather they knew how to do it safely.

As you'll find if you read the thread, safety was something of an afterthought.

Thanks for the link rjnoone1

I would not wish fecal incontinence on anyone.

You're welcome kitty

Exactly right, FermatsTheorum.

Thanks for the link RJNoMore1.

Thing is, we're back to anecdote versus data. One person on this thread enjoys anal. So? No-one denied that there were some women who liked it. But the peer-reviewed BMJ article (data, not anecdote) shows that only a minority of women like anal, while most either find it does nothing for them or is painful. Yet (same article) these women are being pressured into doing it by their male partners, even though they don't enjoy it or actively dislike it - and (the scary and sinister bit) their male partners know they don't like it or actively dislike it, and those male partners expect to have to coerce and pressure the women into doing it.

By all means explain to the minority how to do it safely (while making it clear that it's a somewhat niche activity) - but surely it's much more important to empower (in the genuine sense of empowerment) the majority who don't like it/find it painful to say "no". And to tackle the massive rape culture which enables otherwise normal teenage boys/young men to think that it's okay to pressure a woman into a sex act that the man knows she will find painful.

A mal gay friend of mine got a torn anus when he was about 23. It bled for so long he had to go to A & E, where he was told it was in a bad state.

When did anal become such a big thing amongst teenagers?

It might be distasteful but young people do do it and I'd rather they knew how to do it safely.

But apparently not how to do it pleasurably, if they haven't even bothered to put a clitoris on the diagram of the 'non-prostate havers'?

It might be distasteful but young people do do it and I'd rather they knew how to do it safely.

@Datun okay say these girls are over 16 allowed to have sex etc. unless you ask every single female
you will simply never know a true figure on who enjoys it and who doesn't.

Except they did ask, and they do know.

No one is saying anal sex is awful, for fully grown, consenting adults.

You should not have been having sex at 14, much less anal sex. Your enjoyment of it is neither here nor there. The person you were having it with was committing statutory rape. If they were also under age, then so were you.

We have laws for a reason.

It's difficult to condemn, out of hand, two 14 year olds having but sex if they both say they enjoyed it.

It doesn't stop 14 year old girls having anal sex being not the norm. And it's completely illegal.

Neither does it stop underage girls being relentlessly pressured into having sex, including anal, when they don't want it.

This is a magazine aimed at children for whom having sex is against the law.

Whatever your personal experience, being a vocal advocate for it is wrong

14 year old girls who just can't get enough of anal sex.... Okaaaay.....

Who needs to know what a clit is anyways?

@wheezy2 no I wasn't aware of anal tears at all. Diseases I could talk to you all day about but tears, I've never seen I've also got a few gay friends and whilst they've expressed some things that sound bloody painful I've never factually been told by a professional about a tear, only that friction can cause irritation which can lead to splits and sores. Kind of the same thing then I guess actually I think..

@whiskeysourpuss I wouldn't preach it to anyone at all. Sex can be experimenting after all. I've been round the block in my teens I now know what works for me and what doesn't I'm not ashamed of that. I've read some different views on it now and I can kind of see other people's opinions. However I honestly don't think anal is a bad thing which seems to be the big message here and being pressured, however I've never know any experience of that. Underage sex now Is a bad thing whether it be anal or vaginally.

anitagreen good luck with that - women can get incontinence older as a result of tear they receive when they are younger.

Bit strange you are not aware of anal tears from your work at a sexual health clinic....

Just because the woman might like it why would the man like it up his?

The point is that teenage girls seem to be being encouraged to try anal sex because it's something they might enjoy if they just try it yet there is no equivalent article or even a passing suggestion in the article being discussed that it's something teenage boys might also enjoy if they'd just give it a go.

Just because you enjoyed it at 14 doesn't mean you should be preaching that to teenage girls these days although at 14 it's highly unlikely you'd have any real idea of what you did & didn't enjoy due to inexperience.

@SophoclesTheFox explored what?

@wheezy2 well it's been 11 years and I manage just fine never had any issues so I reckon I'll be okay, can't speak for others of course but seems okay down there 

Just because the woman might like it why would the man like it up his?

Because he has a prostate, so it is likely to be more pleasurable. Why wouldn't he like it? Anyway, I asked first. If it's all so lovely and normal and natural, why haven't you explored it?

American journal of gastroenterology

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5231615/

anitagreen so are your prepared to risk an anal tear and incontinence due to anal sex?

@AspieAndProud why should he be prepared to take it? Fucking someone up the arse and then taking it yourself is two different things. Really don't understand it at all.

@whiskeysourpuss between friends and I, etc I've also worked at a sexual health clinic and heard other people's stories of it, never spoken to anyone who had been pressured into doing it. Heard people that don't like it and that's fine, just like some men don't like blow jobs. What works for someone doesn't mean it'll work for another.

Just because the woman might like it why would the man like it up his?

Because unlike a vagina, he’s got an arse if his own, and if he thinks it’s pleasurable he should enjoy it himself.

Same goes for oral sex. If he has a mouth he shouldn’t demand oral sex if he isn’t prepared to give it himself.