Very benign matter - preferred title

I find Dear Firstname Surname a bit weird in emails - back when we still wrote letters, it wouldn’t have been used to start one. To me it makes the email sound like spam!

I would go either Dear Firstname or “Ms” for women.

I think Ms definitely has local interpretations - where I grew up, it was used for the divorced, and when it was used by a woman who had not been married before, she was "up herself", "no better than she ought to be" and "possibly one of those women". Or possibly that was just my mother's view As a kid I found it wildly exciting to uncouple yourself from your marital status.

Overall I would prefer to be addressed as Ms by a stranger; to me it's less presumptuous than Miss/Mrs and more formal than first name last name. I am generally uncomfortable with people using my first name in a formal situation anyway (I do hate it when the bank phones and uses my first name, since I haven't consented to that level of informality), and since I work in schools it's formal usage nearly all the time anyway.

""I know Ms used to associated with being divorced"

Why, that's neither it's origin nor much of it's use!

I would go Ms rather than Mrs/Miss but like others my instinct would be to try and avoid the situation if at all possible by going for Dear Firstname Surname or Dear Sir/Madam. The Ms/Mrs issue is so divisive you always end up pissing someone off.

if in doubt, I've been taught to use "Ms"

Got to challenge the patriarchy whenever you can!

Or even Dear Madam/Sir

the whole point of Ms is that it gives the same seniority as Mr, whereas Miss can seem less so.

Always Ms, if preferred title is unknown.

Oh - Dear Sir/Madam pretty good too...

Agree that Ms is the most neutral choice if you have to use a title and you are sure the person is a female. I know Ms used to associated with being divorced but I think now is generally acceptable as a neutral title, similar to Mr for men.

Lots of people, me included, who are married but have kept their own surnames seem to use Ms too.

Hope you don’t get too many complaints for trying to do the right thing!

I don't use those prefixes at all any more.

Just Dear First Name Surname.

if you don't have the names I am always tempted with Dear Madam/Sir

proof

Just address the email Dear First Name Surname.

That is what I would do. I have a not so common first name, where people are often not sure, whether it is a men's or women's name. So, every once in a while I get a letter to Mr soandso. I don't really care, but on balance, I think it is preferrable to avoid this type of 'misgendering' (which is ultimate prove that the sender has no idea who I am).

Just address the email Dear First Name Surname.

If you really must use a title then Ms.

We used to have to write to people without knowing their titles, but the software system demanded a title to be used in the address line, so we went with Ms for all females (the data source we had for them provided their sex). This was predominantly older people. We did get a few informal complaints, but not too many.

Miss is the worst option!

Miss would really get many people’s backs up, as would mrs, they are redundant, inaccurate titles. I don’t really see why you won’t just use names? Only really ignorant people would think of ms as a horrible Americanism, (whatever that is) it has been used for hundreds of years.

Don't stick with 'Miss' for heavens sake.

Unless you know the person. calls themself that, that is the one that is most Ely to cause offence.

You need to find out the correct form for each person (ie what they call themselves.

Or use the more neutral 'Ms' or avoid using anything at all.

Ms is the default if you don't know marital status. I don't think that will bother anyone, but Miss will.

English women used to be Mrs once they hit about 25 or so, as Miss was a girls' title.

Really? Old books and films have older characters with Miss as a title. I think there was an age association, but was it ever a fixed rule?

I'd be ok with Ms (even tho I sometimes use Mrs and sometimes Dr)
I'm not crazy about miss, prefer Ms

Those kinds of emails always come to me as Ms

You mean you'll stick with Ms don't you? Miss and Mrs would both be highly inappropriate unless told otherwise.

If you really need a title, then Ms. Neither Miss or Mrs are generally applicable.

As emails are generally less formal I would just go for Jane Smith.

I don't think I would be offended by the wrong title but would maybe be irritated. If I am handwriting and not sure of Ms or Mrs I just scrawl so it could be read either way.

Ms is not horrible nor an Americanism

No but some people think it is, just like some think it's for divorced women, or some women are proud of being Miss/Mrs and hate being called Ms - I've seen all of those on threads here.

I really think your best bet is to use firstname lastname - I mean, do you even actually know if these people are women or men if you do, then why? Is it relevant? If it isn't then you probably shouldn't have that data at all. Or are you guessing based on first name? What if you have a name like 'Chris' or Jo?