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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

'I'm not meant to be a bloke': Woman who changed gender to become man called Lee says sex swap was a huge mistake

114 replies

TrashyTerf · 04/11/2018 16:33

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6351711/Hemel-Hempstead-transgender-man-60-regrets-gender-reassignment-surgery-11-years-on.html

Warning: DM link! (Although I'd rather click on a DM link than a Guardian link these days!)

Trigger warning: child abuse details included below

*"A transgender man who had a sex change 15 years ago has branded it the biggest mistake of his life and wishes he was still a woman.

Lee Harries, 60, of Hemel Hempstead, Hertfordshire, was born Debbie Karemer but underwent gender reassignment surgery at the age of 44.

After years of struggling with his sexual identity, he had his breasts, uterus, ovaries and fallopian tubes removed, before doctors made a prosthetic penis for him.

But years later he says: 'I'm not meant to be a bloke' and believes he is not transgender.

Mr Harries, who married his partner Alan before he transitioned, has undergone counselling, where experts have told him he has PTSD as a result of being sexually assaulted by his father."*

OP posts:
R0wantrees · 04/11/2018 17:32

Whey are they using masculine pronouns in the article?

It may be the preference of person interviewed.
They may have a GRC and so be legally male?

It may be the papers' inhouse guidelines.

It may be IPSO regulations.

ThisTimeNextYearBillionaire · 04/11/2018 17:31

Ah! I'm really sorry. I didn't read the article. It sounds like i've misjudged the contents. I'll report the post. I didn't mean to offend.

GraceTheDisgrace · 04/11/2018 17:27

I don't understand. The person the story is about says: "'I'm a woman I'm not meant to be a bloke." The person is biologically female.

Whey are they using masculine pronouns in the article?

SirVixofVixHall · 04/11/2018 17:25

Terribly sad and upsetting. I wonder how many teenage girls now deciding they want to be boys, will have been swayed by sexual abuse ?

AngryAttackKittens · 04/11/2018 17:17

This is just sad. This is why "gatekeeping" is a good thing, so that motivations can be thoroughly examined and therapy provided before any irreversible decisions are made.

Popchyk · 04/11/2018 17:16

It is really sad.

I hope Lee finds some peace from it all. Lee's partner seems to be supportive through it all and that cannot have been easy.

But this never happens, right?

LassWiADelicateAir · 04/11/2018 17:16

ThisTimeNextYearBillionaire the laughing smiley faces on your post are disgusting.

R0wantrees · 04/11/2018 17:16

The original seems to be from the Mirror.

some pertinent points:

"After undergoing years of counselling, he says he has finally discovered he wasn't transgender. Instead, he says, he was a woman suffering with horrific complex PTSD after years of sexual abuse.

"Looking back now I realise that it was simply a feeling that if I didn't have a vagina, I couldn't be raped," he revealed.

"I feel completely 'mutilated'," he added."

He says he should never have been allowed to transition, claiming sexual abuse sparked his dissatisfaction with his female body.

He alleges his father raped and abused him when he was a teenager, but died five years ago, before he could be charged.

Now, he looks in the mirror "through the eyes of that terrified 15-year-old girl and see this funny little man staring back at me".

"The thing with objectum sexuality is they are addictions and I felt compelled to have them," he recalled.

"Looking back it was just a way of coping with the trauma."

Lee tied the knot with Alan in December 1997. But his self-loathing became so extreme he almost cut off his breasts with kitchen scissors.

It was in 2002 that he first heard of transgender and gender reassignment surgery while watching an episode of the chat show Kilroy in his living room.

"The programme was introduced as a 'special' where transgender men and women were on," he said.

"At the time it was a state of mind no body really spoke about.

"I remember seeing them on the TV and thinking 'that's me!'

"I suppose they seemed confident in themselves and seemed accepted.

He has spoken out on the 'taboo' subject of gender reassignment reversal to encourage others to seek talking therapy before surgery."

www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/im-still-debbie-man-reveals-13532989

I don't know if the use of male pronouns is Lee's preference or because of press / IPSO guidelines. I'm hoping that its the former

Sarahconnor1 · 04/11/2018 17:14

There is a mirror story as well www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/im-still-debbie-man-reveals-13532989

It is a desperately sad story and one that should be taken seriously. It talks about the realities of surgery and life long medication.

He has spoken out on the 'taboo' subject of gender reassignment reversal to encourage others to seek talking therapy before surgery.

wingwarbler · 04/11/2018 17:08

This is so, so sad. And what we have been saying, that many people who are confused about their identity and/or sex have experienced serious trauma as a child.

The effects of sexual abuse as a child are nothing to laugh at, however bizarre they seem. She was an innocent vulnerable child abused by the person who a was supposed to protect her, her father. It is a terrible thing to have to overcome.

Middle age is a classic age to experience one's life falling apart as trauma rises to the surface after years of trying to hold it all together and keep the trauma at bay. But she was failed by doctors.

My heart goes out to them and I hope they get the help they need now.

Bonions · 04/11/2018 17:07

I noticed that there were a few straight after the smoke bombing incident - I wonder if it’s had an impact?

Sarahjconnor · 04/11/2018 17:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThisTimeNextYearBillionaire · 04/11/2018 16:46

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littlbrowndog · 04/11/2018 16:44

Heavens that is a sad story tbf
But being sexually attracted to a fishing rod
Cripes

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