'I'm not meant to be a bloke': Woman who changed gender to become man called Lee says sex swap was a huge mistake

Interesting info on what the press is dealing with in reporting on this stuff, thanks!

"Looking back now I realise that it was simply a feeling that if I didn't have a vagina, I couldn't be raped,"

My goodness that’s just heartbreaking. my heart goes out to Lee - that really is a brave story to tell. I hope they can get all the medical and psychological support they need.

I am aghast that medical professionals are allowing, pushing even, medical and surgical life changing procedures on people who have complex ptsd and other issues. This is so wrong.

But yes. Lawsuits.

Shorter Susie - If we ruin people's lives then that's fine as long as we claim that we meant well!

How many children who are transitioning right now suddenly realise years down the line that they were “in the right body” all along.

Or at the very least a body with organs that worked and functioned without the need for constant access to drugs.

This is one thing I’m concerned about for the future

How many children who are transitioning right now suddenly realise years down the line that they were “in the right body” all along.

The parents are going to get such a flack for it and I can see a lot of court cases in the future

"Let's be less concerned about certainty"???????

It's not even as though anyone agrees what 'trans' means, but apparently major life changing surgery with no clear outcome and permanent medication is always the best solution.

'If I didn't have a vagina I couldn't be raped' compounds my theory about trans to the letter.

Meanwhile I want to give Lee a big hug because telling that story was fucking brave x

Meanwhile in Argentina at the international WPATH event, Susie Green (CEO Memaids) twitter comment:

current thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3414279-Can-we-talk-about-WPATH

Getting any cosmetic surgery or even a tattoo should at least come.with a "are you sure you want to do this?". An objective practitioner, not one trying to sell the idea to you.

Especially when the idea is being pushed onto vulnerable people.

Also worth watching Patrick's recent videos, he's very eloquent:

'Detransition (in English) - My reasons and the risks of transitioning'

'Detransition (in English) - Why gender-affirming therapy is dangerous!'
www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=919&v=51ymDtHByGE

Datun I think that the 'memorandum of understanding' prevents much discussion

It's unbelievably dangerous.

Where else would you have any kind of treatment that said, come on let's just go straight to life altering surgery?

from Guardian article about schools' approach:

"Davies-Arai says her broader concern is that by affirming students’ gender identity, schools may be nudging them down a route that can lead to cross-sex hormones and life-changing surgery without enough time to reflect. Teachers, she says, “are essentially being forced to collude in an experimental approach towards children with gender dysphoria”. She adds: “You can support children and accept them, without affirming their belief that their body is ‘wrong’.”

Adele Robinson (not her real name), a head of year at a secondary school, shares Davies-Arai’s worries. The school has had 12 children, all girls, come out as transgender in the past 18 months. The majority, she says, have autism, and some have experienced sexual abuse.

When they come out, she says, they have brought in information sourced from Tumblr blogs and YouTube videos. Although her team does its best to “support every child in a loving, kind and compassionate way”, she feels that staff are too frightened to challenge what she sees as harmful practices: “We have chest binders worn in school, which is horrible. If a child was cutting, they would be straight in with a counsellor. Yet damaging developing breast tissue goes unquestioned. It’s a gross failure in terms of child protection.” (continues)

www.theguardian.com/education/2018/may/15/transgender-row-teachers-afraid-challenge-breast-binding

This is so very tragic.

Many of the comments make the connection with the increased transing of children.

Although it will be little help to her, at least stories like this are helping people wake up to the ridiculous affirm-only policies and the harm being done to children.

Datun I think that the 'memorandum of understanding' prevents much discussion about what might else be going on for the person who presents with gender identity issues.

"Nobody ever raised the idea that I could feel like this due to trauma. Not once - until it was all done."

I know I quote this a lot, but Stephanie Davis Arai, who deals with trans children, has said she has yet to see a girl transition, it wasn't either a lesbian, autistic, or suffered from some kind of sexual trauma.

I certainly think that exploring if someone has been abused should be paramount, prior to affirming transition.

I can't believe it isn't. This poor woman went privately. Does anyone know if sexual abuse is something that is discussed in NHS clinics?

So much medical negligence, where is the care? Shocking story, so brave of her to share it.

"Nobody ever raised the idea that I could feel like this due to trauma. Not once - until it was all done."

It's due to trauma for an awful lot of people, and those TRAs trying to suppress that information are actively preventing people from getting the help that they need.

Adding to R0wantrees' post, here are some other pertinent points from The Mirror.

Warning: graphic content & possible "misgendering" (Since this person says unequivocally "I'm a woman, I'm not meant to be a bloke" & "I'm still Debbie", I'm going to use female pronouns. Reading all she's said, using male pronouns feels wrong.)

In The Mirror, she describes complications she has suffered from the medical interventions:

"After the second operation I had an infection in my vagina caused by the testosterone upsetting the 'normal' flora of the vagina. Puss and blood kept coming out and I had to wear sanitary towels again!

"The infections left such a terrible smell - as if something had died.

"I lived with the smell of rotting flesh for years. I've had countless infections with my body rejecting what is happening to me.

"I now suffer with recurring bladder infections as all the invasive surgeries have left it incredibly weak."

In The Mirror account she also blames "the huge mistake" of her transition on two things: the trauma of being sexually abused by her father as a teenager AND "the lack of talking therapies" offered when she initially decided to explore transitioning in her 40s. She saw a private psychiatrist who prescribed testosterone the first visit.

"I should have had help somewhere along the line," she said.

"Nobody ever raised the idea that I could feel like this due to trauma. Not once - until it was all done."

So sad.

And the evidence of the infections he suffers and the issues of the hormones causing problems shows the potential drawbacks lying ahead for any one going through surgery and hormones treatment. Hope he can find peace.

This is heartbreaking.

I hope she finds peace.

I saw a documentary years ago, about people in the states who are convinced they have one limb too many and are able to persuade surgeons to amputate for them. I found myself saying repeatedly "And months or years later, when you realise it was not what you really wanted, how will you feel?"

Sunk costs fallacy clearly doesn't work for everyone.

Such a sad story. I'm glad at least she seems to have a supportive partner.

The UK press is apparently paranoid about getting it wrong, so much so that in this case, they've got it wrong.

They are also quite tightly bound by agreements / policies following lobbying by TransMedia Watch etc

Editors alluded to this when questioned during the Home Affairs Committee back in April:

threads:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3233421-Home-Affairs-Committee-Hate-crime-enquiry-Newspaper-editors-interviewed

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3238618-Trans-Media-Watch-has-written-to-parliament-saying-trans-identified-male-can-be-considered-as-hate-speech-and-that-Mumsnet-users-referring-to-penises-are-being-transphobic

Kirkup's article in The Spectator response discussed here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3237268-James-Kirkup-article-Why-are-some-MPs-trying-to-shut-down-the-transgender-debate

Grace

The UK press is apparently paranoid about getting it wrong, so much so that in this case, they've got it wrong.