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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

3 transgender best friends transition together age 11 after years of bullying

33 replies

TrashyTerf · 31/10/2018 12:08

www.mirror.co.uk/news/us-news/three-transgender-best-friends-transition-13510930

"Three transgender friends are supporting each other as they transition from male to female age 11.

Lily, Fiana and Zuri have been diagnosed with gender dysphoria and will soon undergo medical intervention to prevent their bodies changing from that of boys to men."

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Everincreasingfrequency · 10/11/2018 21:27

"But it was a cultural difference that was very noticeable to me as a Brit coming from London to live there."

That is interesting - Maybe it is even more stark in other countries but once I started idly looking (London/South East here), the distinction between most boys' and girls' clothes and hair, even under the age of 5, seems really clearcut. Particularly that short 'boy' hairstyle which, it occurred to me, you never see on a girl of that age (I accept you don't see it on all 3-5 yr old boys but it is already quite common at that age).

Clothes as well - you basically never see a boy in anything even flowery, let alone in a dress. I would imagine it almost certainly leads to teasing/bullying etc if a boy does wear so-called girls' clothes.

I remember some toys used to be either labelled girls and boys toys, or more subtly, divided into sections with one that was very obviously directed at girls - does that still happen?

Barnyboy03 · 10/11/2018 21:23

And so these three poor kids go down this road and the bullying all stops...."WRONG" it will only get worse. Kids can be so nasty to others and not even realise it but all to often they are just telly the truth. What happens when these kids and others like them change their minds...O that's ok they can change back into what they were born...I'm so pleased I don't have young children and glad I don't live in the USA as sadly it seems anything is possible there :-(

Racecardriver · 10/11/2018 21:10

@mrsfrumble I had a very comical mental image of your androgynous Breton striped kids terroristing a small midwestern town as stereotypically American adults ran from them with expressions of horror and confusion.

Racecardriver · 10/11/2018 21:08

The things these children supposedly said that caused the epiphany moment in their parents aren’t the words of a child. I honestly think their parents made it up. I often overheard my mother recounting to her friends ‘deep’ things I had apparently said to her that I definitely hadn’t. It’s very odd when parents do this.

AugustL · 10/11/2018 20:57

Around the age of two, Lily started asking for different types of toys, and then after that, the first big thing that we noticed was that she wanted to dress as Cinderella for Halloween,” Lily’s mum Julie Maerz said.

!! FFS. It is incredibly disturbing that this was a reason they thought their child was trans. Age 2, "different types of toys",?!!?! "Big thing" to ask to dress a Cinderella for Halloween!?!?!. For fk sake. How sad and wrong that this leads them to think their child is "born wrong".

The Mirror should not be printing this without adding (which NHS states) that any child can play with any toy and this & wanting to wear Cinderella dress doesn't mean child is trans and needs to attempt to convert to the opposite sex. Hopefully parents will have sense when they read this and not start worrying over the toys their child plays with or wants to dress up as. Is this an American thing or what? I'm sure Uk are/were more open and Americans were/are generally more conservative about what boys and girls should be doing

TrashyTerf · 10/11/2018 20:27

So, they grew up together, were bullied together, and are now transing together...

I hope that they sue their doctors together also.

OP posts:
ChiaraRimini · 10/11/2018 20:11

Heart breaking.
As a girl I liked science, Star Wars and my brothers Action Men. As a teen I was into indie music, DMs, German army surplus coats, jeans and band T-shirt. Did a science degree, thoroughly enjoyed being a mum to 3 kids as well as having a career.
why have we gone backwards???

Mrsfrumble · 10/11/2018 19:49

The fact that they are from Texas explains a lot. Having lived in that part of the states for a while, I couldn’t help but notice that there are strong, stereotypical, conservative gender roles which get enforced early on.* Lots of sports themed stuff and camo for boys. Frills and those fugly headbands on tiny newborn girls. My children, with their primary-coloured stripes and androgynously shaggy hair, caused some confusion.

*Obviously not every single person in that part of the States conforms to this. But it was a cultural difference that was very noticeable to me as a Brit coming from London to live there.

ILoveDolly · 10/11/2018 19:34

My son liked to dress as Ariel when he was two. He also enjoyed ballet until changing to street dance aged 5 (probably due to peer pressure) and still will happily play with dolls and his sisters girly shit when they're all together. He puts on rather a butch persona when at school, but his prized possession is a box of shiny silk bow ties. This is who he is. A mixed bag..... A boy who has interesting personality quirks.

My older daughter has always hated pink, likes her hair short and space/dinosaur themed things. She is dreamy, poetic and looks forward to being a mother, but to look at her, you'd think she was a boy.

My middle daughter is incredibly sporty, she hangs with the boys, she plays football, she likes trains and playing the drums. She has a pink feather boa draped over princess bed sheets at home, her inner sanctum is super girly.

When did we stop allowing children to be complicated. Bullies are stopped by firm action from adults, or removing yourself from a situation, not by changing yourself to make them happy.

I consider it unlikely that three young people who were friends would all have a diagnoses of gender dysphoria without external pressures denying them agency to simply be GN.

AugustL · 10/11/2018 19:28

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AugustL · 10/11/2018 19:21

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Geraniumpink · 31/10/2018 23:28

How utterly silly. No one appears to have questioned why all three are transitioning together- making it sound like some cosy happy best friends in it together thing. Who are these children going to grow up and become partners with? They are seriously limiting their options. Why is no one just assuming that kids can think very stupid things and that the leap from liking ‘girly’ things to actually being a girl is a very long one indeed.

Voice0fReason · 31/10/2018 22:15

It makes me so cross when I read articles like this.
Toys and clothes FFS
These poor boys

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 31/10/2018 20:31

Giles- this deserves a round of applause for being such a great gag.

You will love this meme......

www.huffpost.com/entry/how-to-tell-if-a-toy-is-for-boys-or-girls_n_4372629

Velella · 31/10/2018 20:26

My parents tried for years to have a child. Finally my mum became pregnant with me. They realised they would probably only have one child. My dad desperately wanted a boy so when I came along he just treated me like one. So I got to spend ages on the shed, building things and became competent and practical. If he told me once that I should have been a boy he told me a million times. But he would never ever ever had a milliseconds patience for the idea that I might have been born in the wrong body.

These stories are heartbreaking. When are people going to wake up to the brutal reality of this rather than seeing it as some warm fuzzy happy ever after fairytale?

Cachailleacha · 31/10/2018 20:12

My boy has long hair. He is a boy with long hair, not a girl.

Deliriumoftheendless · 31/10/2018 19:56

“If a toy requires a penis or vagina to use it then it's not a kids toy.”

Giles- this deserves a round of applause for being such a great gag.

HandsOffMyRights · 31/10/2018 19:55

Do you think that parents/children think that if they transition this will put them in a special.club - where they get more attention/no bullying (because of the extra attention given to trans people) and where they are part of a community who will have their back?

God, what is society doing to our children? Why is child abuse in plain sight?
The more I become involved in this, the more that I know child protection is my biggest concern.

SirVixofVixHall · 31/10/2018 19:40

What is wrong with these parents ? If an 11 year old said that they never wanted children, would we sterilise them ? Yet if they say they are in the wrong body then that is what can happen. Those poor kids.

R0wantrees · 31/10/2018 17:52

So toys and clothes then

& hair.
That seems to be common issue. Girls who want short hair, boys who want to not to have to have short hair.

Gileswithachainsaw · 31/10/2018 17:03

So toys and clothes then Sad

If a toy requires a penis or vagina to use it then it's not a kids toy.

11...ffs Halloween AngryHaloween Sad

Badgerthebodger · 31/10/2018 16:54

Where has that child got the “girl brain, girl heart” idea from? Would love to know.

merrymouse · 31/10/2018 13:26

“I said ‘Honey, why do you think that?’ and she said ‘Well, I have a girl brain and a girl heart. All my toys are girl things and all my friends are girls. I don’t really understand the things that boys like to do’,”

“I knew right from that moment that I needed to raise her differently.”

How raise differently? What would you be doing?

These are children - what is their concept of being an adult man or woman?

R0wantrees · 31/10/2018 13:23

Worth comparing the parents' response in the Mirror and video with the parent interviewed this article from Transgender Trend:
concludes:
"Anything else you feel is relevant? And what would your advice be to other parents who find themselves in your position?

Read and watch as much as you can before you have an in-depth chat with your child.
Don’t use what you’ve learned to push your agenda on them. Just listen and try to understand where your child is coming from.
Try not to get in a confrontation with your child: they have come to where they are through their own logic. Their decision makes sense to them and pushing against it could simply make them more entrenched. Instead, work with them to find out how they got to this decision and work slowly with them over time, so they can see that their proposed solution is just one of many potential paths forward.
Reach out to other parents who have gone through this issue.
Go slowly. Delay where possible. As your child matures, their understanding may change.
Don’t be put off by politically-correct pressure. Your child is under your care and is not the property of activists.
Avoid the NHS, transgender clinics, activists at all costs. They will all push you towards the ‘transgender pipeline’.
Find a therapist who will help to find any underlying issues.
Obviously, if there are underlying issues, try to resolve them.
Don’t be afraid to send your child articles and news clippings to discuss (with their permission)."
www.transgendertrend.com/dad-boy-identifies-transgender/

thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3410239-Being-The-Dad-Of-A-Boy-Who-Identifies-As-Transgender-article

Theinconstantgardener · 31/10/2018 12:55

this is horrific- well said badger

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