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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

"You Guys"

95 replies

ritzbiscuits · 19/10/2018 18:26

This phrase drives me crazy, everyone seems to use it these days. My dh thinks I'm over sensitive for finding it offensive, and has asked at his very politically correct public sector place of work and not one person had a problem with it.

You wouldn't call a mixed group of people "hey girls' would you? It's used lots in kids tv as well, what message is this sending our young women?

Anyone with me on this?

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Polynerd · 28/10/2018 08:17

I say "guys" to everyone including all-female groups and am now annoyed with myself for using the male default. Will work on stopping but it's been the habit of a lifetime so may be difficult!
Men referring to grown women as 'girls' REALLY REALLY grates and I tend to say mildly "I'm not sure I would call her a girl..."

powershowerforanhour · 27/10/2018 22:31

"Hey girls" makes me think:
Hey boys
Superstar DJs
Here we go....

Annandale · 24/10/2018 01:07

Sorry for irrelevant post but 'hey girls' always makes me think of this magnificent Jonathan Richman intro Grin

amandadecabernet · 24/10/2018 00:57

I love gals! (I don't really love it, but I love the inane way it sounds, even moreso when applied to everyone.)

amandadecabernet · 24/10/2018 00:56

How about 'Hey girls'?

Capretta · 24/10/2018 00:51

We're using "gals"

"Gals" doesn't even sound OK when directed at an all-female group. I've never heard anybody use it seriously, only in an over-the-top playful way.

quixote9 · 24/10/2018 00:40

"Guys" used to women is more definitely more evidence of male default.

It's the male default which is offensive. The actual phrasing "hey you guys, wanna come over for a pizza?" is often well-meant. I'd feel bad reading the riot act to some poor blighter who was just trying to be pleasant, so I don't.

But, yes, all this goddamn male default really grates. And to anyone who says, oh get over it, I say, fine. We're using "gals" instead of guys from now on. If it doesn't matter, then no men will object to that.

Doobigetta · 23/10/2018 23:17

I use it, sorry. I won’t say “girls” to an all-female group, as we’re adults. I don’t mind “ladies” but I know some people do and I get why so I don’t use it. And it should be fine, but outside an explicitly feminist group “women” would raise eyebrows and it does feel a bit contrived. So until I think of a better alternative, guys it is. Or chaps, which is basically the same.

Latinista · 23/10/2018 23:10

Sorry I’m late to the thread, but completely with the OP here. I hate this, and if I’m with female company eg in a restaurant I always say “we are not guys”. Millennial servers really don’t understand. Then I get a look as if I’ve farted.

Kuntie · 23/10/2018 22:56

At least I don't use hun/sweetie/baby/babes. Those are the ones that wind me up.

Kuntie · 23/10/2018 22:51

If I ever meet you Kuntie don't call me guy or dude or bruv. I don't see why one has to append anything to a sentence like"it was so difficult"

I wouldn't, because you aren't a friend. I only speak like that casually... With my friends, who don't seem to care at all, luckily for me. I've never met anyone who cares enough about being called "guys or dude" to tell me not to yet.

And it's like "how was the exam?" "Uuurgh, it was so difficult", but instead "dude, it was difficult". It's an exclamation, rather than a reference to the person usually.

SequinsOnEverything · 23/10/2018 22:20

I wish y'all was used here. I'd feel stupid saying it when no one else does. I am making an effort not to use guys, but it comes out naturally in some situations.

LassWiADelicateAir · 23/10/2018 22:16

If I ever meet you Kuntie don't call me guy or dude or bruv. I don't see why one has to append anything to a sentence like"it was so difficult"

Kuntie · 23/10/2018 22:08

www.bu.edu/today/2014/bu-research-riddle-reveals-the-depth-of-gender-bias/

And I use guys, because "hi people" or "hi friends" or "hi everyone" sounds weird and formal. Guys is casual.

I also say "dude" to other women. As in "dude, it was so difficult!". If I use "girl" it's infatalising, and "woman, it was so difficult" doesn't sound right at all. I understand I could just say "it was so difficult", but that's not how I talk when speaking casually, only formally.

Lots of my female friends get called "bruv" or "bruh" too but that's just slang that's left-over from my teen years Blush.

Kuntie · 23/10/2018 22:02

A father and son get in a car crash and are rushed to the hospital. The father dies. The boy is taken to the operating room and the surgeon says, “I can’t operate on this boy, because he’s my son.”

How is this possible?

40-75% of people can’t solve this riddle because they’re unable to imagine the surgeon is a woman. The surgeon is the boy’s mother.

People do hold gender bias about "doctor" and "surgeon" and "boss" etc. Still to this day.

slug · 23/10/2018 16:05

Folks for general use

Colleagues or comrades in a work setting.

disrespectfulpenguin · 23/10/2018 13:43

I like ladies because thanks to little Britain the TRAs can t take it.
i like the whole ok ladies lets get started. As I am soo not a lady.
I think how fuck lady Jane grey was by the men around her.

I want it back and subvert the meaning......
I want a billboard like the woman one but with lady. The TRAs would be apoplectic with rage....

ErrolTheDragon · 22/10/2018 18:06

She sees 'that woman' as a derogatory way to refer to someone, I don't especially

Surely it depends entirely how it's said?

CountFosco · 22/10/2018 18:04

I've trained DD well. She plays football and was training in a mixed group. The coach said 'sit down now lads' so she ignored him Grin. He didn't do it again.

I don't like guys and tell the kids off for using it. I like folks but am Scottish so it feels quite natural. But 'everyone' or 'all' should be fine for most circumstances and are gender neutral.

LassWiADelicateAir · 22/10/2018 17:57

But I am going to brave it on the FWR board by admitting I don't mind 'ladies', as long as the males are referred to as gents.

I have no problem with "ladies" quite like it.

She sees 'that woman' as a derogatory way to refer to someone, I don't especially

I think it is derogatory.

SuperLoudPoppingAction · 22/10/2018 17:39

My mum was of a generation where 'shawlie woman' was common parlance alongside 'ask the nice lady'.

I don't know if we notice how class is coded into language less or if we genuinely care less about class but thot/sket/basic bitch/road boy/chav aren't encouraging tbh.
The first two are two of many many words for supposedly promiscuous women. Most languages have way more words for promiscuous women than promiscuous men.
I'm a linguist originally and I find discourse analysis interesting within feminist academic thought.
Manmade language by dale spender is a good read if anyone is similarly interested.

StrangeLookingParasite · 22/10/2018 16:48

It's like the word woman sounds quite unpleasant somehow as we tend to use euphemisms. Especially in Scotland I think. It's very unnatural not to say 'a lady ' when you mean 'a woman'.

I had a discussion bordering on disagreement with my mother in law over this. She sees 'that woman' as a derogatory way to refer to someone, I don't especially.

bluetitsaretits · 22/10/2018 15:06

What an interesting thread -our language preferences are so individual. I think context has a lot to do with it -a word used in one situation can sound wrong in another.
Personally I don't mind "guys" too much, it reminds me of 'the young ones'. It can sound a bit 'kids TV presenter ' though.

breastfeedingclownfish · 22/10/2018 15:00

Not keen on 'guys'. I hate 'folks'.

But I am going to brave it on the FWR board by admitting I don't mind 'ladies', as long as the males are referred to as gents.

You could just shout 'oi you bastards'.

Juells · 22/10/2018 14:56

deydododatdodontdeydo
Guys I don't like, but I hate folks, it sounds like somebody trying to be a hillbilly to my ears.

Haha you'd better not look at the Rainbow Greens twitter account then.

"We need to be able to accept all women into women's network & quotas. Cis folk only need to learn about some basic requirements."

By 'need to learn' they mean 'need to be re-educated' Grin

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