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Original poster

Oh, wise and wonderful women of feminism chat

61 replies

KipperTheFrog · 17/10/2018 18:15

Please help me to compose a message or something.
I have a very woke Facebook acquaintance, who happens to be a gay man. He's inciting people to report fair play for women on Facebook for hate speech due to their "transphobic" post. Not sure which post exactly. A lot of people are following his lead it appears.
Anything I can go back to him with? I've never spoke up on my Facebook page about this issue as I'm too scared, but want to be brave!
I've been lurking on these pages, posting occasionally but learning so much from you eloquent ladies.

OP posts:
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AngryAttackKittens · 18/10/2018 19:41

And I see he's deleted. Is no doubt sulking at you now.

AngryAttackKittens · 18/10/2018 19:39

Dear god, women speaking to other women who want to protect their daughters? Heresy!

Honestly not sure how you get through to someone so sexist that the sight of women working with other women to protect girls outrages him.

wopbamboo · 18/10/2018 19:35

I'm still on an anonymous twitter account for my gender critical views because I'm scared somehow someone will find out who I am and complain to my work or something. I know it's silly but I just can't risk it.

homoseXXualmum · 18/10/2018 18:32

His only response was to twist my words accusing me of saying all trans people are sexual predators. Not sure what part of my post said that. Me thinks I hit a nerve!

"To more bluntly, no one is scared of trans people here. They're scared about rapists. Some rapists say they're trans [and no one can question that even if it's Ian Huntley because of Self ID]. Get over it."

Juells · 18/10/2018 09:41

Sometimes people see a bandwagon and think "Hey, here's something that won't cost me anything, I won't have to do anything, it won't affect me, but I can look like a wonderful supportive person by mouthing some platitudes. TWAW!".

Original poster
KipperTheFrog · 18/10/2018 08:55

Thanks everyone for giving me the strength to finally speak out on social media! I'm glad he deleted it, think it helped I wasn't the only one questioning him.

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CaptSkippy · 18/10/2018 08:42

It's good to see he deleted the post. Well done, OP!

Next time something like this happens, don't defend yourself in any way and stick to questions only. If he accuses you of something you never said, point that out specifically by saying you never said that. Don't accept any false accusations. People like him do not argue in good faith.

I have found this guide very helpful:
medium.com/s/story/a-field-guide-to-bad-faith-arguments-7-terrible-arguments-in-your-mentions-ee4f194afbc9
I have even used some of this advice here on MN.

gendercritter · 18/10/2018 08:40

That's actually a good result. As someone else said these beliefs are akin to creationism. People don't back down. If he's deleted, he knows you're making a point he can't argue with or that his friends will realise is sensible. Well done challenging him.

FekkoTheLawyer · 18/10/2018 08:22

I'd ask why he was deleting posts. If you spout in public then you should explain in public maybe? Especially if you have been trying to turn people's heads.

TeaEnjoyingRadiantFeminist · 18/10/2018 07:51

Excellent result! At least no one else will have to see it. Massive well done for sticking your head above the parapet and saying something on your social media, it's really not an easy thing to do

Juells · 18/10/2018 07:51

I think that's pretty good - the deleting of his posts, I mean. It shows he doesn't feel he's on firm ground.

Original poster
KipperTheFrog · 18/10/2018 07:34

And now he's deleted the post!

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Redkeyboard · 18/10/2018 07:24

Well done.

Bonions · 18/10/2018 07:11

Say you’re not accusing all men of being sexual predators but they’re still not allowed into women’s spaces.

ohello · 18/10/2018 05:24

I am actually a little gobsmacked that the guardian reversed their position. Is it safe to say that the tide has turned? Grin

As for the gay guy, I'd ask him how he feels that all the very young gay boys are being transed? I personally wouldn't argue with him at all, just ask questions and get him to think through his position. But... seems like gay men who can't see the parallels to gay conversion therapy might be a bit thick... or just really hate women.

Original poster
KipperTheFrog · 18/10/2018 01:59

His only response was to twist my words accusing me of saying all trans people are sexual predators. Not sure what part of my post said that. Me thinks I hit a nerve!

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TeaEnjoyingRadiantFeminist · 17/10/2018 22:54

Ask him his feelings on the cotton ceiling and its impact on lesbians. Oh! And whether he'd fancy having sex with a partner with a vagina and breasts, because if the vagina and breasts belong to another gay man and he doesn't want to then he must be a genital fetishist. When he says no he wouldn't you can call him a transphobic bigot...

Because TRA logic.

Original poster
KipperTheFrog · 17/10/2018 22:35

Thanks. I've added a bit about transgender children growing up to be gay adults. I don't think I'll get into any further debate with him though.
pickle I'd already mentioned Karen White who was the prison rapist.

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ToeToToe · 17/10/2018 22:26

Try Transgender Trend.

But my personal favourite is:

Original poster
KipperTheFrog · 17/10/2018 22:23

Are there any links to evidence of the transgender teens growing up to be gay?

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IKeepFlouncing · 17/10/2018 22:20

Oh it’s at 6555 now that petition, haven’t got my calculator and am bad at maths. How many more needed until... oh dear was it 7000 or 7000?

www.ipetitions.com/petition/dear-stonewall-please-reconsider-your-approach

picklemepopcorn · 17/10/2018 22:18

And Muslim women. Something he will care about more than just women.

picklemepopcorn · 17/10/2018 22:18

You reply is too reasoned, and there is nothing in it for him.

You need Prawn's point, and the rapist in a woman's prison. Maybe men in women's refuges.

ToeToToe · 17/10/2018 22:13

Link to the guardian editorial too.

ToeToToe · 17/10/2018 22:12

Your carefully and politely reasoned post will gain a 'fuck off, bigot' response just the same as if you just posted "WOMEN DON"T HAVE PENISES".

But bless you for doing it Thanks It is always worth doing for the lurkers.