Disabled toilets/all gender washroom

Luangwa That sounds such a difficult situation for you, though I would hope that if an accompanied adult came out of an accessible toilet then the majority of people would use their common sense and realise that there was obviously a need to be in there.

Not the same at all, but when ds was little he bulked out (from having made struggling at the bottom of the charts) he was also late to potty train. He needed a change so I took him into the baby change in Morrison's, I came out to absolute glares from a Mum holding a small baby, I felt completely embarrassed and I probably looked it too, I had every right to take him in there to change, but I still felt completely self conscious when walking out. The point of my story is just because someone looks embarrassed it doesn't mean that they shouldn't have been there.

Luangwa for you and your DD

And your point is? Where have I said I assume parents with children shouldn't use disabled toilets or that I would assume there was no good reason for them to. I have a child who has been severely affected by disability from a young age, they could walk, talk and was stunningly beautiful for most of their childhood but there were times when they absolutely needed to use a disabled toilet.
I don't have a problem sharing with the baby changing facility in the pub, soft play, restaurant I just don't want to share with able bodied people who feel that the lack of a queue means it's ok to use a space that is the only one accessible to a vulnerable minority group.

I apologise to people stood behind me in the cashpoint queue, some people just have an over-apologetic disposition.

Toilets in general are a nightmare, I recently stopped at the garage forecourt (next to a services) and only the men's was available. Luckily I was with a male colleague who checked it out and then stood guard by the door.

I often find though that there will be 2 toilets in places - a men's and then an accessible/ladies/baby change.

Pennydrew

It is unlikely DD and I could fit into a normal toilet cubicle, given she is 5'8" and weighs 14 st. Besides which, as Sirzy said, she is likely to call me "A pervert, a lesbian, inappropriate....." if I inadvertently touched her - and then tell whatever adult she came across next!

There have been around 6 safeguarding investigations in the last 5 years against care staff, who she has alleged has touched her inappropriately. The last occasion in the summer was when I believe a member of care staff called her "Gorgeous" and put some suncream on DD's legs, as is policy where she lives, before going out in the sun! I have to tell all care staff that they must ask her permission before touching her; and explain what they are doing as they doing it, to avoid allegations of sexual abuse! My guess is that was a new member of staff, who forgot to ask her permission. All staff have been told now to tell her she looks lovely in that dress, rather than call her "Gorgeous" or other such terms of endearment!

Day time incontinence pants - she has been in Tena Super for 5 years; but there is a limit to what they can hold, and when that is reached, they can hold no more and clothes get wet. As for talking to someone about why she does it, that would be fiddling while Rome burns - the latest theory is that she has a rare metabolic disorder, causing progressive brain damage. The talk is an MRI scan to compare brain damage with the last scan; and a full range of metabolic tests, including blood tests to see what is building up in her blood!

Zzzz you haven't been reading carefully my dear, I understand hidden disabilities better than most, I have two children who are disabled, one very obviously and a son with MS.

Thistle well said

Disabled people lobbied long and hard for the right to have accessible toilets/changing facilities etc.

Now it would appear that any blue-haired broflake can jump in, 'cos they're non-binary.

I say fck that sht.

I’m not entirely sure your magical assessment of who is or isn’t capable of using the other toilets is great.

Don't you know? Disabled people are incapable of feeling embarrassed, even when confronted by a stranger immediately after using the loo.

Chchch and I would never say anything other than thank you as you hold the door for me. I wouldn't challenge anyone who doesn't make it completely obvious they could've used the non accessible toilet.

Zzzz I often find that people use the accessible toilet in my local shopping centre because the normal loos are another 20m away. They are huge and there are rarely queues to use the cubicles, it's selfish and lazy maybe we can agree on that.

To the people who think they can “spot” a non disabled person using a disabled loo - if I come out of a disabled loo 9 times out of 10 I look sheepish because I am aware I don’t look disabled, not because I’m not.

Doesn’t it depend on the situation? If this is the only disabled loo in a big leisure centre, making it accessible to all reduces disabled access because there is increased likelihood that it will be occupied when a disabled person needs it.

If there is only one toilet in a building everyone will need to use it, but it’s better that it is accessible.

This is the updated version of "why can't I put my buggy in the disabled space on the bus", isn't it?

The toilet described by OP is clearly sign posted as both sex’s and parents as well as disabled people.

And that is why people are objecting because that shouldn’t be the case. Disabled people shouldn’t need to wait for non disabled people to finish before they can use the toilets. Lumping everything in with a facitlity for those amongst the most vulnerable is never excusable and shows how little thought many places actually put into providing disabled facilities

The problem with that attitude is that in most places (pretty much everywhere I can think of) that isn’t a small coffee shop with one toilet for all type place then the amount of facilities for disabled users are far far fewer than ‘normal’ toilets.

Add to that that many disabled people have bowel and bladder issues which mean that waiting could cause them major problems it doesn’t take much to realise why it’s pretty selfish to use a disabled toilet if you don’t need to.

I have no problem with anyone using them assuming the other facilities are in use and there’s not a disabled person waiting.

But what if someone disabled comes along in desperate need of a toilet while an able bodied person is using it? Why is it ok to use the accessible toilet rather than wait a few seconds, a minute or two for a non accessible cubicle to become vacant?

Blokes at my work were saying they always use disabled stuff why not, they assumed everyone did it, I don't, I was a bit taken aback.

...and no doubt they piss all over the seat so the next disabled person who uses the loo has to struggle to clean it before they can sit down.