Peak Guardian woke bro

I am cringing myself inside out. If DP ever dared to say that 'we' had breastfed our children I would be sorely tempted to lamp him one.

If he says "we have mastitis" would anyone blame the wife for thumping him?

After the nurses took him away again I turned the video into a gif in reverse (the child going back into my wife’s stomach) and sent it to my brother-in-law

I know others have mentioned it but it bears repeating.

His wife's brother or his wife's sister's husband?

I wondered that- either way it's more ways wrong than can be counted.

I rarely swear on here but fuck off you utter prick.

What. A. Bellend.

It’s astonishing that such an irritating fellow has a wife.

er. Sounds to me like he can't wait to get rid of his wife and have the kid all to himself. Like he only married her in order to get kids. What do you want to bet that this guy comes out as trans?

The traditional pathways .... are being thrown to the wind by millenials.....
What a fool. It's hungover undergraduate level writing.

Would you believe as an absolute twunt a straight, white male what has pretend pissed me off driven me insane is being unable to feed my son

I’ve just had some thick wanker in the comments mansplain to me why “stomach” is the accurate term for where the baby came from. It made me remember why I haven’t bothered with the Guardian and its aggressive dudebro commenters for months.

"We struggled a lot with SPD in the third trimester, but we're really glad our blood pressure stayed low so we didn't need to worry about pre-eclampsia again. Sadly we got quite a nasty labial tear during the birth."

Absolute prick. I cannot stomach that phrasing “we’ve been breast feeding.” “ we are pregnant” “we have birth” just sod off with your appropriating her massive efforts! Nob head.

Some of the comments are good. As well as the one mentioned above, I enjoyed: "Why on earth is your wife eating babies?"

I also liked this sentence from the article:
"The traditional pathways to parenthood are being thrown to the wind by millennials of necessity."

I just like the idea of 'Millennials of Necessity'. It sounds like a crusade. Or possibly Necessity is the name of another planet.

There are so many things men like this could do if they genuinely wanted to help. But they don't, they just want something to moan about. See my partner saw how exhausted breastfeeding/sleepless nights made me. And what did he do? He did a lot more cooking and cleaning, he pretty much took over nappy duty, and he would let me go and nap between feeds. Thats what good dads do. Not just moan on about how unfair biology is, or make out the birth was sooo stressful for them.

So, in amongst all the knobheadery, any mention of what this supreme master of wokeness actually does for his wife and child, aside from being a comedy genius that is?

If anyone had taken a picture of me pushing DS out of my fanny they’d be retrieving their camera from somewhere in their lower digestive tract. I’d be sure to get a whole fucking roll of film of that.

This twerp reminds me of DPs brother. Not the gif creating, or at least I hope not, but the We’re pregnant, we’re breast feeding bollocks. It makes me want to kick him in his every time I see him.

We need a permanent 'Guardian Modern Parents' thread now, pulled exclusively from the content of their many woke-tossers output.
It'll be rich pickings.

Stomach is not the uterus. A lot of women giving birth get cut with surgical scissors.

Did his wife eat the baby? It's like he's replicating Alien.

FFS!

The Guardian gets more like Viz every day.

Bwhahahaha !

Wasabi

The only interchangeable word for abdomen is belly really.

Watching a video is a bit different from watching yourself being cut open as they do it!! Plenty of women want to watch their own birth videos

Are you actually allowed to video a c section?

What then is the point of putting up a screen?

Ugh, I read this on the Guardian website earlier and was waiting on a Mumsnet thread about it! I can't believe it actually made it into "print". What a load of tosh.

I don’t think the gif featured the vulva, given it was a c section birth. And I’m also one of the crowd who uses stomach interchangeably with abdomen.

The main thing that bothers me about this, is talking about his wife as if she’s an object - it’s all ‘we’ when it comes to the breastfeeding so he can appropriate it, but ‘I’ when it comes to the picture taking (when surely he should acknowledge that gif could only ever be created if his wife was in on it / thought it would totes hilaire and suggested it herself).

Reading it you get more of a picture of the medical staff at the birth than you do of the actual birthing woman

It’s erasure of womanhood / femalehood. Which is happening all over in different contexts and it’s very worrying.

Some of the comments are really funny though. This one for example -

"As a father in his late 40s, I'm so grateful the author has opened my eyes and my heart, and shown I can be openly affectionate with my children. What a blessing Millennials are to humanity. And so brave.

Can you believe some people have the nerve to say Millennials are narcissistic and self-congratulatory, believing every choice they make is a bold and courageous advancement of human justice and happiness."

"gestate babies in bags"?!! What the actual fuck!!!

There was some work done on artificial uteruses (bags basically) to act as incubators for severely premature infants. It was done in lambs. Alternative to special care incubators and allows nutrition via the cord and spares their lungs. He’s probably referencing that.

Also: a reverse gif of your wife’s genitalia sent to relatives? Sir, you are an utter bellend. Clean the fucking kitchen, keep her stocked with tea and snacks and change nappies thats the stuff adults do to assist the mother of their children.