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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

I’ve just been chucked off a feminist group on fb

55 replies

Blackoutblinds · 29/09/2018 09:02

For saying that I am entitled to sleep with whoever I want and that I don’t have to sleep with anyone I don’t want to. And that at my age, I’m entitled to be attracted to whoever I’m attracted to and my attraction to certain types of people is not a threat to anyone else.

I didn’t mention anything else. I said exactly what I said there but apparently that isn’t inclusive and they are inclusive.

What the fuck? Seriously what the fuck.

OP posts:
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Needmoresleep · 30/09/2018 22:50

The word 'consentual'

Nondescriptname · 30/09/2018 22:34

Transgenderism is a penis liberation movement.

That would be funny if it wasn't so true.

LeftRightCentre · 30/09/2018 16:50

One poster summed the entire nonsense up perfectly: 'Men don't like women who say no.'

DJLippy · 30/09/2018 16:22

It's a threat to men's entitlement to sex. That is all. Honestly love don't stress yourself out.

I think that there has been a very pernicious drift in recent years where inclusivity has been conflated with the breaking down of female boundaries. This is not just sexual. It starts with language, opening up spaces and groups. The obvious end point of such a move is your literal physical boundaries (i.e. vagina).

You said no and look at the abuse you were subjected to. You stated very clearly what your sexual boundaries were. You have just received a valuable lesson in the importance of the word NO.

Blackoutblinds · 30/09/2018 16:08

How is it transphobic to say I don’t want to sleep with a trans woman?

I am only attracted to men. Males. Born male with a fully functioning cock who present as male.

That’s lesophobic as much as it is transphobic.

But I’m neither. People can sleep with whomever they choose if that person wants to sleep with them too.

And how is it threatening for me to say that? People are free to sleep with whoever they want as long as that person wants to sleep with them. Where honestly is the threat in that?

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silentcrow · 30/09/2018 16:00

Surely the gotcha there is "but if I can't say I don't want to sleep with someone I'm not attracted to, doesn't that the mean this group is excluding asexuals, who dont want to sleep with anyone at all?"

Let them eat alphabet soup.

DodoPatrol · 30/09/2018 15:51

Thought I must have misread it, that makes more sense!

MrsFogi · 30/09/2018 15:49

I'm lost - surely most people base their decision about who to have sex with on being attracted to that "mate"?

invisibleoldwoman · 30/09/2018 15:40

Honestly Blackoutblinds, don't spend anymore time trying to get your head round it. It is all bonkers. You can't argue with a tinfoil hat.

Get out, you've had a lucky escape. I know that's hard when it is a friendship group and so on, but honestly, if they can't see the reality of what they are telling you they are not sane.

The mantra I find most helpful is 'when people show you what they are believe them'.

I bet all of them have very clear sexual preferences! Just like the woke beardy lefty men who believe men can be women and lesbians but have a total meltdown if you suggest they have sex with one.

I got totally piled on on another discussion forum for saying that it isn't transphobic to refuse to have sex with someone. These were people who considered themselves to be very intelligent.

DJLippy · 30/09/2018 15:28

There is a lot of feminism that thinks it's feminism but it's actually just neo-liberal politics disguised as liberation. See Magdalen Smile

Blackoutblinds · 30/09/2018 15:21

No what I said was I could sleep with anyone I choose to and who chooses to sleep with me.

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ErrolTheDragon · 30/09/2018 15:08

Are they thinking, or have they just swallowed some BS without really thinking about what it actually means? Hmm

DodoPatrol · 30/09/2018 15:06

But you aren’t ‘entitled to sleep’ with whoever you like - not unless they also want to. Did I misread your first line, or could that be part of the objection to your statement?

TallulahWaitingInTheRain · 30/09/2018 15:03

I'm starting to think this entire thing is all a false flag operation run by people who want to roll back women's & all LGBT rights altogether

Not all of it. But some of it certainly is.

Blackoutblinds · 30/09/2018 14:59

I just can’t get my head around it at all. Trying to work out what they’re thinking is giving me a headache.

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ErrolTheDragon · 30/09/2018 14:56

Surely being 'inclusive' is accepting that any consenting adult can have sex with whichever other consenting adults they wish, in whatever way they wish?

Anything other than that is a negation of sexuality and consent.

LeftRightCentre · 30/09/2018 14:55

Good riddance! This is rape incitement at its finest.

breastfeedingclownfish · 30/09/2018 14:54

Consent is as 'exclusive' as it gets.

I get to say who I fuck, noone else. If I choose to or not fuck someone, for any reason, that's still right.

I'm getting really pissed of with this shit now

thatdamnwoman · 30/09/2018 14:47

It's certainly not feminism. In a real feminist group you have the right to choose.

This is what happens when 'be kind' becomes a totalitarian mantra.

ShineOnHarvestMoon · 30/09/2018 14:41

It's rape culture, pure & simple. Sorry you've had to deal with this, OP - the world has gone slightly mad.

A FB group I belong to for women in universities is feminist and supportive, unless you are open about being gender critical to the point that you cavil at "Transwomen are women #nodebate" Then the group is ferocious & there is no quarter and no glimmer or whisper of sisterhood. Radical feminists are traduced openly.

Because - although it's supposedly a support group - radical feminists are just the worst, aren't they?

The mental gymnastics for some people must be painful - lots of pulled muscles there.

DJLippy · 30/09/2018 12:52

Women have a right to set their own boundaries and exude people for any reason you don't need to justify yourself.

You've dodged a bullet with that FB group. Sexual boundaries is basic feminism. It's basic for anybody on any side of the political spectrum. The only people who don't understand this have either been groomed or are actual rapists.

Blackoutblinds · 30/09/2018 12:49

Oh and apparently expressions of heterosexuality are a threat to trans people.

So. I like to fuck men not women. Adult males who present as males. I don’t like to fuck adult women who present as women. And I dont like to fuck anyone who presents as anything other than adult human male and was born adult human male. I’m not making anyone else shag anyone else. So. How is me saying that a threat?

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DisrespectfulAdultFemale · 30/09/2018 12:48

OP, it sounds as though the group has drunk the 'Rapey' Riley kool-aid.

Blackoutblinds · 30/09/2018 12:45

I can’t get my head around it. At all. It is completely outside my understanding.

Surely anyone of any orientation is entitled to say they don’t wan to sleep with anyone else, regardless of the orientation of that other person?

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PineappleSunrise · 30/09/2018 12:40

Honestly, get out the tinfoil because I'm starting to think this entire thing is all a false flag operation run by people who want to roll back women's & all LGBT rights altogether.

I mean, how else to explain a bunch of people choosing to interpret the meaning of "inclusive" from "letting everyone get a chance to join in," to "sexual orientations are transphobic?" It's batshit.