Let's talk some non-trans feminism - women and sex

32 replies

QuentinWinters · 27/09/2018 23:24

I've been thinking about women's sexuality a lot recently.
Not the "am-I-gay-or-straight" sexuality but how women have sex.
In "Testosterone Rex" Cordelia Fine says that feminists make the best lovers because they know what they want.
While I agree, I can't help thinking that there are societal factors that pressure women to act more passive.
For example this reporting that women on top is dangerous. A woman on top is a woman in control. Some men find that threatening and science backs them up (except it doesnt)
graziadaily.co.uk/life/real-life/science-says-girl-top-position-dangerous-call-bullshit/
I also thought about this article describing how women who want to be dominant sex partners may think they are men as a result.

purplesagefem.wordpress.com/2015/07/22/on-lesbian-lust-and-identifying-as-male/

I'm very confused about how socialization has affected me personally when it comes to expressing my sexual preferences/needs and desires. It feels like women's needs are increasingly being marginalised by porn and if I feel like that as a 40-odd year old i can't imagine what it's like for our teens.

Do others agree that a woman asserting her sexual desires is threatening? How can we protect our daughters from socialization that girls should be passive And accepting?

OP posts:

moofolk · 27/09/2018 23:47

I worry that feminism has not had the best effect on my sex life, in making me really examine and think about things I had previously enjoyed without thinking about too much.
I had revelled in a fit, attractive body as a younger woman and definitely fell into that trap of wanting to be desired.
Luckily that beautiful, fit young body is gone now!

Original poster

QuentinWinters · 27/09/2018 23:46

Strangely noones researched cystitis/vaginal tears etc

OP posts:

Original poster

QuentinWinters · 27/09/2018 23:45

Sorry for DM link
www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2920830/amp/Scientists-reveal-having-woman-dangerous-sex-position-men-having-safest.html

Interesting because it directly says it's safer for the man if he is in control

OP posts:

FermatsTheorem · 27/09/2018 23:42

Do people in the real world really think this or is it made up click bait on the part of Grazia? Woman on top is not exactly a niche or outre sexual practice!

I do agree that a certain sort of porn saturated man does think that women are basically walking talking fleshlights and that sex is something to be done to them. In this view it's not so much that we're passive as that we are inanimate objects. Though it does have strange echoes of Victorian beliefs - hitch your nightie round your waist, lie back and think of England.

Littlemouseroar · 27/09/2018 23:32

None here thanks, but I've been shocked by how many people, both male and female think that is unacceptable.

Original poster

QuentinWinters · 27/09/2018 23:28

Here's a great para in that blog
"According to our culture, a woman doesn’t even have to have sexual desire in order to want sex. Her wish is simply to be wanted, to be a beautiful object of men’s lust. She inspires sexual desire, but doesn’t necessarily have her own. Women’s sexual desire ranges from non-existent to sinful, depending on local tradition."

OP posts:

Original poster

QuentinWinters · 27/09/2018 23:24

purplesagefem.wordpress.com/2015/07/22/on-lesbian-lust-and-identifying-as-male/

OP posts:

Unflip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread