Gay club bans ‘female’ clothing

Is there such a thing as a straight man bear? Quite liking the aesthetic

@ScrimshawTheSecond and @BettyDuMonde I think you need to look again. Behind Parvel in the first pic is a top of the range combi grill/oven so it's ok, he can cook a roast, no bother. He also has a sparkling recycling bin so he cares about the environment, his fabulous style, his laminate flooring (crawling to the oven in his boots), cleanliness and he can cook a roast dinner.

I think I need to get off the internet now.

Well, according to Wikipedia, since I'm a fat, bald, hairy dyke, I'm an Ursula!!!! (and no questions please about whether I do or not in the woods!).

I thought that "bears" were generally attracted to less hairy gay males like the ones in tight tshirts or more femme presenting...
I didn't realise bears were attracted to each other !

(Have I missed the point of the thread)

Will the bears support lesbians?

As regards bears, my experience would tend to be they are of the big,
burly, 'manly', hairy as heck variety. Younger/slimmer chaps, you have bear cubs. Possibly related to sexual preferences as well, although not as specific as regards sexual preferences as the BDSM leather clad lot. O, for the olden days when everyone wore hankies and you could just look this up! There are supposedly otters as well, although I'm not quite sure what they wear/are into.
Then we have other slightly specialist groupings, such as one I once came across who were into corduroy and cigars.

Anyway, the point here is that even to a lesbian, it was quite obvious that there were various groupings of gay men, based on clothing styles and possibly sexual preferences with clothing as a signal. And if an evening was for a particular group, you would not necessarily get in if you didn't look the part. And frankly, anyone in high-heeled boots would just not fit as regards the bears/cubs I've met.

It would be like turning up to a steam rally not knowing what a valve chest was...........people would just know that you aren't really interested in what we are interested in, or want to play with the things we want to play with.................(not some weird sexual metaphor BTW! )

Aha, thank you BettyDuMonde! There are some terms I'm a bit wary about googling.

See what you mean about the oven.

A twink is the opposite to a bear!

(So a young, smooth, slim gay man)

I think Pavel's oven looks a bit small, to be honest. I prefer a double, or at least a separate grill.

What is a twink?

I had a conversation with my dozy husband the other day, and it was a good illustration in how sheltered he is in life, because he was watching a drama and one of the characters turned out to be gay. He said it completely threw him because the guy was all burly and manly and beardy and he wouldn't have guessed he was gay.

Oh, how I laughed.

I'd make a pretty good gay man, I think. I mean not that I know, it's just a guess.

Sadly, I'm a woman. And as I understand reality and respect other people's boundaries,I'm not going to rock up to a gay club and start demanding that the men there agree that I am a very good looking man and they have to have sex with me.

Oh, don’t get me wrong, I think it’s just as ludicrous to ‘identify as’ anything you clearly physically are not, but while various trans related stuff is (currently) noted in medical diagnostic textbooks, ‘transbearism’ is not.

Not yet, anyway. Perhaps Dr Harrumph will take up the cause?

Well, if one can just identify as a woman without any of the physical characteristics.... (just ask Alex Drummond, who looks more like a 'bear' than a woman to me)

Maybe it would be fairer to say (s)he identifies as a gay man and aspires to beardom? Or feels like a bear inside and is working on the outward appearance?

Surely one cannot simply ‘identify’ as a Bear? The physical characteristics are paramount!

I know a trans man who identifies as gay and a bear, though not very hairy yet as only on testosterone for a year or so. Still looks quite female to me. Wonder what reception (s)he would get at that club?

Hmmmm, funny that when the blokes don't like something they just say 'no thanks, I'm not into that, kindly fuck off' with confidence. Asserting their boundaries, which in this case is no 'femme' gay stuff.

Let the men fight this one out amongst themselves.

Those pictures in the kitchen are fabulous and indeed very Louis Spence!

"To be fair he is lying on the floor...so he may have crawled in so as not to damage the floor"

I think you may be heading off down a route that's not MN appropriate there

("Haven't been to a lesbian club I've never lived but out of interest, would a woman dressed up to the nine in heels, miniskirt, push-up bra be a rarity? I'm guessing so " - I didn't clock any in 90s manchester!!!)

Goth/alternative pubs and clubs often have signs such as ‘no football colours’ to help facilitate the kind of atmosphere they want for their customer base.

It would be problematic if everywhere did it, but there are no shortage of pubs/bars for football fans.

Pavel went down the street to a gay club that welcomed high heel wearers and the bears were left undisturbed in their natural habitat. All is fine.

But unrelated-to-the-story drag queen is still holding a protest because:
Drama.

I support the right of bears to excluded femmes from bear-specific-nights.

I support the right of femmes to exclude bears from femme-specific nights.

Let’s hope both femmes and bears support women’s rights to exclude men dressed as women from our nights. We are gonna need them!

"They say on the website that it’s a bear club, but you see all kinds of guys there – twinks, young guys, older guys – anyone.”

Aha club are out of order

Bouncer didn't like him is my guess.

got to go out not rtft

this is male only >> fine by me. are the TAs sceaming at them?

many clubs have dress codes for both women and men. sometimes women have to well heels and show lots of skin. this is shit and we go on about it a bit but dress codes are a norm.

it's a bear club >> great big hairy gay men. in heels? doesn't botehr me but I'm not a big noise on the bear scene

keeping women out makes sense but who is a woman anyway these days? if i rock up and say i'm a bloke they have to let me in. transrules roolz ok?

all a bit of a mess.

this does highlight some of the reason why certain subsets of men have been chucked into women's spaces and been made our issue to deal with.

You’ve just given me a minor epiphany! Thank you!

How heavily do Pink News moderate their comments?

I've been reading through the comments and there are number, by who I assume are gay men, using language that would get you insta banned from Mumsnet.

Let's just say they are not "trans positive"

I can’t make much sense of the story but Damn Parvel, you are fiiiine down there on the laminate floor with your clean kitchen worktops and your sexy high heeled boots

All I can see is Louis Spence!

And yeah

Great kitchen