9 out of 10 girls fear period shaming at school

I actually just linked this thread into that one. Unbelievable. As if a 9 year old could deal with a first period in a unisex open plan toilet fully equipped with wipes and god knows what else for a medical condition she didn't know she had yet is prepared without any mess

Sorry I don't want to turn this into a TAAT but currently there is a thread in aibu where the "Op" is being ripped to shreds over her concern about open plan toilets.

And on that thread there are women stating that there is absolutely no reason why a woman should still have blood on her hands once she leaves the cubicle.

"You should carry wet wipes"
"You should flush the toilet and then rinse the blood off in the toilet basin."

Period shaming in action.

Our primary has a separate toilet for girls in Yr5/6. Main toilets are sex segregated already, but we like these pubertal girls to feel comfortable.

I disagree, Aspie . I think girls are terrified of leaks and go all belts and braces when they've got their periods; a tampon and a pad, for instance. It isn't the period per se that is considered shameful, but the thought of others knowing you're bleeding. So I can definitely see how more products are purchased, the more worried young girls are.

I actually had a surprise leak at work today. I'm still surprised by it. Supervising lunchtime detention, I just felt it happen. Dismissed pupils still sitting down, then had to prize cover off chair, put on my long coat and head over to the caretaker's loo to wash and try to salvage my trousers (dark, patterned viscose, luckily). As a grown woman, it was annoying, but not a disaster, as I can move freely around my place of work and use whichever facilities I need. Had I been 13, it would have been a completely different story. I went to such great lengths to prevent anything like this from happening as a teenager. Boys used to comment on passing girls in the corridors at school, saying "Yeh..." as one walked by, referring to whether they thought they could discern the outline of a sanitary pad in the girl's trousers.

I'm not detracting from any of the very valid arguments that posters are making, just saying it is worth noting who sponsored the survey, and asking if they have any agenda to push at all... A good conspiracy theory would include a plausible motive. What exactly would Bodyform gain from this? How would they shift more products? If anything, period-shame would lead girls to buy less of their product.

Well and drawing pics of ejaculating penises all over everything, there is that. And of course porn mande by men for men ie the vast majority of it is all about women worshipping cock and semen. Covering women in come is common in mainstream porn. Totally different I'd say. The opposite of shame, really.

when boys and men's natural "emissions" are not even mentioned..... or if the are it's all about trying to force women to swallow them.

Funny isn't it that women's natural "emissions" are embarrassing, stigmatised etc. when boys and men's natural "emissions" are not even mentioned.....

I don't precisely find it hard to talk to my daughter about it, but by god it's hard to get her to stop squirming enough to listen!

It's enforced by women in practice who are subbing in to "protect" men.

Men and boys find it all revolting, nothing to do with them, why should we have to hear about it.

Women do the work for the men in propogating the shame, but it is not the case that men are blase about it and wouldn't mind. Lots of them would and do. they don't want to know.

It is enforced by women but the point of it is aroundIdeas about women's bodily functions being disgusting and they must be "private" from men and Religion

It is enforced by women and the tone of the parts of the Bodyform website does not help.

Any grown up woman who is a mother but finds it too difficult to talk to her daughter about periods should take a long, hard look at herself.

Swimming is tricky as well.
Takes a while to get the hang of a tampon if you want to even try at that age and by then you've got out of the habit / lost your place on the team or whatever. I suppose. I wasn't on a swimming team but imagine if you miss 1 or more weeks trainign every month you won't last long.

All of this stuff > set up for male comfort and then girls / women can join in, in theory, but in practice it's suboptimal for them and plenty won't.

Applies with work and all sorts of stuff is the basic thing female biology / realities not taken into account and we need to pretend they dont' exist / or get out.

I went to an all girls school and was always mortified when I got my period. I used to hate unwrapping my sanitary towels and the noise they would make, dread them falling out of my bag and worry that I was going to leak. And that was all when I was only amongst other girls, most of whom were already going through the same thing.

I cannot imagine having to go through all that in a culture of mixed sex toilets/changing rooms.

The point is that boys are important
And girls are not, not really

I was thinking the other day about how lots of sports seem to involve spotless white outfits. Martial arts are v popular round here as out of school activities, all have these white getups. Also cricket, tennis, not sure if there are more.
Then they wonder why lots of girls drop out around puberty :/

This hardly surprises me. Between mixed toilets and.mixed schools where idiocy is tolerated because boys are less mature and the fact that no one is allowed the toilet in class despite every adult knowing full well what a teenage girl might well need to go , well they don't stand a chance do they...

Wish we I'd more single sex schools

"Period "shaming" does not come from women. "
Actually this is not quite true

It is enforced by women but the point of it is around
Ideas about women's bodily functions being disgusting and
They must be "private" from men and
Religion

Also cultural aspects as well I suppose.

Certianly a lot of religions consider menstruating to be "dirty" and women are excluded from certain things while menstruating & also some societies. It's only in what the last 20 years or 30 years that we are more open here? I remember beign shocked on a foreign exchange trip at tampax ads on the telly - we didn't have them here at all - considered too, what, risque or something.

My school was built in the early 1900s and I expect the toilets dated back to then. They were in the basement, accessed from outside (thought more hygienic then). There was a light in the middle, but there were only high windows on one side. The toilets on the other side had little opaque windows between them to let the light through . These were avoided for obvious reasons and the girls that hung around in the toilets smoking piled into them when a teacher came. That left about 6 toilets for about 200 girls.
There was an incinerator and a towel machine (which dispensed the old Dr Whites with loops and a couple of safety pins - no one had sanitary belts by then ) which was in full view of the smokers. If you wanted to use them discretely, you would have to get out of a lesson (although there would probably be someone skulking in the toilets trying to wag a lesson but they would be locked in the corner one with their feet on the lavatory seat )

It was grim, and that was without added boys.

My mum didnt' talk to me about periods and she's a doctor!

Period "shaming" does not come from women.

It comes from religion, from squeamishness about women's natural biological functions and the idea that they should be kept "secret" from men for some reason.

This was just starting to change >>

Now we are told that it's exlcusionary to mention female natural biological functions in case it upsets certain penis people (ie same old story new shiny wrapper)

And that simultaneously girls must share their toilet facilities with boys when they are dealing with all this for the first time.

I remember waiting until the toilet was empty (as best I could tell) so that no-one woudl hear tell-tale "rustling" and this was in a girls toilet in a single sex school!

At my DDs primary school they don't have sanitary bins in the stalls. They refuse to acknowledge that girls of 10 have periods

Seriously, in 2018? That's shameful.

My father is 80. He was a primary school head, back in the dark ages. He insisted that his school install sanitary bins back then. And he's a complete dinosaur about most things feminine.

personally any woman who is a mother has had periods, has had sex, has given birth- so the notion that talking to your own daughter about her periods should be this difficult is a nonsense. If it is, that isn't due to some unspecified patriarchal constraint but due to a grown- up woman failing to behave like a grown-up.

You’d think so, or hope so, wouldn’t you, Lass? My mother refused to tell me about periods until I begged her to. After mine started I told her and she just said “right then” and boxes of sanitary towels would appear hidden at the bottom of my wardrobe. I was left dealing with heavy and painful periods alone. From past discussions online I don’t think I’m the only one.

I certainly remember feeling deep shame as a teenager in a mixed school. I remember being absolutely mortified when a drink leaked in my bag and a (nice, female) teacher helped me clean it, when she opened a pocket in the bag and a ST fell out. I’d got the message that periods were something never to be spoken about or admitted to. I also recall coming on unexpectedly during an after school sports session in what must have been only my second or third period ever, so I’d have been 12, and desperately wanting to confide in the lovely PE teacher and ask for her help, but simply being too embarrassed to do so and using toilet paper instead.

My biggest fear was that boys in my class would find sanitary products in my bag, or I’d leak in class.

In an ideal world, yes, mothers and other authority figures are open and kind about periods and girls feel well supported and not shamed. In the world we actually have, periods are considered shameful and girls suffer for it.

I don't see what Bodyform's agenda could be

Their findings will hardly influence the number of sanitary products required

Maybe their agenda is an interest in girls, women and their periods. Things a lot of people don't seem to give a shit about

I think Bodyform's agenda is to increase Bodyform's share of the market.

I am uncomfortable about the tone of the website. I've said this before but who exactly, certainly in the UK, Europe, US etc is perpetuating this idea of period shame?

The quotes below are from the article about how to talk to your daughter.

Finding ways to talk about it in an open and confident manner will make all the difference to her experience of menstruation. But how can you introduce the subject and get over the awkwardness that surrounds a young girl’s first period?

Myth, shame and embarrassment often mean periods go undiscussed in the family home

Personally any woman who is a mother has had periods, has had sex, has given birth- so the notion that talking to your own daughter about her periods should be this difficult is a nonsense. If it is, that isn't due to some unspecified patriarchal constraint but due to a grown- up woman failing to behave like a grown-up.

I think the tone of the Bodyform website , far from being helpful in breaking taboos is setting taboos up as if they are unavoidable but caring, sharing Bodyform can make them a tiny bit less awful.

It's at one with the "a man might hear the rustle of a sanitary towel wrapper" mindset- well so what if he does?

BitterAndTwistedChoreDodger

I get where you are coming from. I had a look at their web-site and the article about speaking to one's daughter. I thought it was dreadful. I don't have time to expandmy thoughts now but will do later.