Someone help me hold my arms up...

FB - hope that your plan of today went well and that you had a thoroughly enjoyable time watching Netflix.

I, too, welcome casserole and soup weather as easier ways of offering vegetables to people. :)

Sorry I missed this yesterday, FB

Supporting a complicated teenage is exhausting, isn’t it?

When you see CAMHS can you push for some support for you?

When my son was off the rails we did 6 months of MST (multi systemic therapy) and it changed everything. We got this through the NHS and had to get to a crisis point first but knowing what I know now I would’ve happily done family therapy, self funded if necessary and got started a lot earlier.

A family therapist will be able to help your DP understand why leaving you to deal with it isn’t fair (and also, isn’t nearly as effective as both of you working together).

I used to think therapy was a pile of old tat, but when I stopped resisting and actually tried it, it was very useful.

If family therapy doesn’t seem doable right now, perhaps just a couple of sessions of plain old counselling just for you, to give you a chance to offload outside of the family home, will be worthwhile.

It’s like the oxygen masks on the plane, gotta get your own one on first.

Xx

glad to hear you had a better day today, floral

Your posts are invaluable here - you're so sparky and intelligent and it shines through. You are heard

It's like a storm with some teenagers. Now all this gender mind fuckery to deal with too.

Glad you had a better day strong mum

Floral I missed this yesterday. So glad to hear you've had a more peaceful day, but it sounds like a continual rollercoaster.

You're definitely not writing into a void - compassion and empathy doesn't always translate through the written word, but it's lovely to see so much of it over today for you.

I was one of 'those' teenagers who caused my parents massive concern, not through 'gender' issues, but as many above, through the mire of trying to navigate teenage mental health and puberty.

I still don't know how they coped. I couldn't change what happened but now, as a parent myself, understand how difficult it must have been for them to support me.

You are so not shouting into a void, Floral , you're a poster whose name I recognise on the board and always has something thought provoking to say.

So sorry you're going through this it's good to hear that today is looking like going more gently.

So happy to hear that today is an improvement, Floral.

Im pleased youve had a nice day floral

Floral - I find these boards hard sometimes and I am not living through it like you. How your children feel affects you so much and in addition to work etc. I echo everyone else and say you should look after yourself. I enjoy your posts very much you have a most unique and difficult perspective (in that you are experiencing this first hand). Thank you for your posts - we are here to support you and your daughter is lucky to have you there for her

(a ps: I too have noticed that men can check out/go to bed/ go out for a bit but women must continue to carry on - so extra for that.

Floral . You write such great articulate posts which have really helped my thinking, I had no idea you are also living through this. I know what it feels like to support a child (though on a different issue) and it can be all consuming so and . I can't do much else for you from a distance so I made the donation to FPFW that I've been meaning to for a while.

floral i agree with other posters here. you do sound like a great mum. i hope you are enjoying some time alone today. and don't do the stuff you need your partner to do for you, the housework or tea making. if you don't do it, its not being done will act as a visual prompt to kick him into action. hopefully!

for you. I struggled so much as a teen with my body and have very much come out the other side if that helps the tiniest bit. You sound like a great mum.

flowers fail, please have some more

[Flowers] Floral

I'm having a hard time with my DS albeit for different reasons. As other posters have said the daily grind really wears you down and you are always on alert for the next crisis point.

I hope things are a little better today.

for all the mums and for all the girls, including us when we were young. Women are amazing.

Hope you got some sleep Floral x

You will get through this.

This is all shit, and I wish I knew what to suggest, what action would magically make this better.

All I can suggest is to try as hard as you can to make your presence, your company a warm and comforting place for YOU and your child. If you achieve that, then your child will value you and your guidance.

Massive hugs from me to you.

Sorry to hear this Floral. Sending you my support and just wanted to tell you that your posts are really good value. I know you are doing a great job.

Sending support and hugs across the internet.

Make today a day for a relaxing bath, comfort food/drink and TV.

More love and empathy from me too, Floral. Why do men think they can just check out of this stuff for a bit when they want to? Even the good ones do it.

My oldest had a hard time for a while during adolescence and the low level hum of it doesn't leave you even when it's not crisis moment, does it?

I second the recommendation of Anne with an E (first series) if you haven't seen it already. It's lovely.

Floral

I hope you get that bath, Netflix and comfort food today

May I recommend Anne with an E (seaon 1, it gets a bit woke in season 2) and macaroni cheese?

to you floral (and your dd)

A little like posters upthread I was a difficult, eating disordered, rebellious teen. Actually, with a defensive, emotion-checking-out-of pa.

But my mum was wonderful. And we got through.

May Netflix bring you peace.

Floral - going through something similar, although my daughter is older. Dealing with mental ill health in your child is really horrible, especially so when ideology has replaced clinical evidence. I do hope CAMHS are helpful.
You are obviously so strong and a fighter, your DP is taking advantage of the fact that he knows you will keep going. Which isn't fair on you.
I had a period of mental illness which stemmed from my DD's mental health problems (preceding the trans announcement). In some ways it was helpful because DH had to go to appointments with DD and do the difficult things. It was good for all of us.
All the best to you.