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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

This is wrong right?

642 replies

DukeOfSussex · 18/09/2018 19:31

If your teenage daughter had her first week at the University of Sussex this week this is what found in her welcome bag.

A Pot Noodle, A tablet of washing detergent, a sim card and an individual sized portion of instant coffee.

AND

A picture of a woman designed to look like she has spunk dripping down her face to sell toothbrushes. "whether you spit or swallow during your twice daily oral regime..."

She'll also find a drinks night event by the Student union being advertised all over campus. It has a picture of a dead eyed half naked woman laying in an empty bath...which advertises what? Fuck knows.

She will also find a copy of the student newspaper in her bag. On the front cover at the very top of the page is an article entitled "Transphobia and toilets". This is discussing the recent words of University of Sussex philosophy professor Kathleen Stock who dared to very (politely) question some aspects of trans theory.

Your daughter, if disabled, will also be concerned to see that some of the disabled toilets have been declared "for all genders". Which is lovely and inclusive but not ideal if you're disabled and need a wee and need to wait for an able bodied non binary male wearing lipstick to go for a shit first.

She will find that the "This Sussex Girl Can" all women only classes are open to all "women, trans gender people and non binary individuals" so just mixed classes basically .

So far so expected of university in general but what upsets me is that people wanted Kathleen Stock's job for having an opinion. She caused students to feel "unsafe" with her very words, but in a world where women are literally unsafe and sexual assault is endemic in universities, Sussex student union didn't think twice before objectifying its female students. If your employer gave you a goody bag with this card in it you could rightfully be making a formal complaint to your HR department. Why is it appropriate for university?

We can't discuss why it's always a woman advertising drinks, or toothbrushes without discussing women and the group of people who actually deal with the real repercussions of being women. It's a bloody joke.Why don't people care about actual sexism, real life objectification of women.

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NothingOnTellyAgain · 21/09/2018 10:27

That shoudl say can she do it ?

Wasn't meant to sound like an order lol

NothingOnTellyAgain · 21/09/2018 10:27

OP

Reminded me of this part

"he'll also find a drinks night event by the Student union being advertised all over campus. It has a picture of a dead eyed half naked woman laying in an empty bath…which advertises what? Fuck knows"

The porny spunk mouth has caused a kerfuffle as the visual imagery is so awful.

Can your DD take a snap of one of these posters and send it to you, I think people have overlooked it as words speak more than pictures but it sounds fucking awful and would be good to flag as well while the university and others as well presumably have their eyes on this story.

NothingOnTellyAgain · 21/09/2018 10:25

I find it impossible to believe that on the arrival of 1000s of boxes of free stuff, no-one in the students union thought > I wonder what they're getting this year let's have a look / we always order a round number and spares and I love free stuff so I'm going to have one (this is a standard "perk" of jobs where you get loads of stuff to be given for free in jobs let alone in uni where you are often skint!). I have been the proud recipient of more than one company branded pencil in my time Grin

Datun · 21/09/2018 10:23

NothingOnTellyAgain

Excellent post.

It's also not lost me that it is these kids who are prudish. As they simply cannot imagine older people having sex. The fact that the older people have most likely had vastly more sex and they have seems to be lost on them.

And a final note, there is a third option to spit or swallow. And that's the don't come in my mouth split-second swerve.

BabyTeeth · 21/09/2018 10:22

I mean, unfair that Sussex were the ones that it blew up for – the other Unis should also be in the picture.

Sussex could show some sector leadership, get together with the other Unis affected to use the chance to show what the UK HE sector together are doing about sexual violence on campus.

Except they are now all in competition with each other.
Other Unis will enjoy Sussex getting a kicking.

DukeOfSussex · 21/09/2018 10:16

I hadn't watched the video before, christ.

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DukeOfSussex · 21/09/2018 10:13

Sussex and its student union prides itself on it's wokeness, but when it comes to sexism it looks the other way or outright contributes to a hostile environment for women.

I don't think it is unfair. That they're all doing it is doesn't change it for me.

www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/sussex-university-student-assault-allison-smith-senior-lecturer-dr-lee-salter-beat-punch-stamp-a7533751.html

www.sussexstudent.com/news/article/ussu/Statement-from-University-of-Sussex-Students-Union-Exec/

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BabyTeeth · 21/09/2018 10:10

TRIGGER
This Australian one runs the story below a video of student initiation ceremonies, no punches pulled.
www.themercury.com.au/business/work/university-apologises-after-firstyears-handed-welcome-packs-with-spit-or-swallow-beer-mats/news-story/f291c6b7fbc40f3ca5c27bf2e2695b20

BabyTeeth · 21/09/2018 10:08

But they are the ones with the biggest platform to come out and make a very strong statement about sexual harassment, sexual abuse, sexual violence and what they do to stop it.

BabyTeeth · 21/09/2018 10:04

Yes, unfair for Sussex.

ErrolTheDragon · 21/09/2018 10:00

A tadge unfair, perhaps, since it sounds as though these packs may have ended up in many unis, and it isn't the fault of the university itself.

BabyTeeth · 21/09/2018 09:57

Another student paper
thetab.com/uk/sussex/2018/09/21/sussex-responds-to-spit-or-swallow-freshers-welcome-boxes-29473
– who get that parents are important.

Ereshkigal · 21/09/2018 09:56

I am [hmm at the university's steadfast refusal to admit that any member of staff had seen them before they were passed out.

That just makes them look incompetent if you believe them and liars if you don't.

BabyTeeth · 21/09/2018 09:53

I think this one may be for Russian readers although not sure:
www.rt.com/uk/438994-spit-swallow-sussex-university/

It's bad news for Sussex University that their name is in the URL. All those international families wondering which upstanding UK uni give their money to, doing internet searches to choose which one.

DukeOfSussex · 21/09/2018 09:27

thebadgeronline.com/2018/09/students-union-apologises-sexist-beermats/

Sussex uni paper^

The bags are packed by a team who may not have opened these Dig In boxes.

Grin

I am [hmm at the university's steadfast refusal to admit that any member of staff had seen them before they were passed out.

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DukeOfSussex · 21/09/2018 09:19

A comment under that refers to the term "sexual harassment" as a buzzword. Hmm

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BabyTeeth · 21/09/2018 09:00

Tracking this round the world is my new favourite hobby. I hope Sussex put it in as a case study in their Global Media and Communications Course.

BabyTeeth · 21/09/2018 08:57

A Red Top frame of Brushbox’s suits it well crass, sexualised, with grim links:
www.dailystar.co.uk/news/latest-news/731182/freshers-week-toothbrush-beer-mats-spit-or-swallow-sexist-sussex

DukeOfSussex · 21/09/2018 08:51

Oh and we seem to have made several Australia papers too, so G'day to any new lurkers Grin

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DukeOfSussex · 21/09/2018 08:49

If its so sexy then I imagine when you go out on your first date and have soup...that if you let it dribble all over your chin then you are a deffo for a second date!

hmm oxtail, sexy.

Envy
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DukeOfSussex · 21/09/2018 08:48

We need an 'applause' emoji.

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Ereshkigal · 21/09/2018 08:48

That's not even true. Blowjobs were invented in 2012 by the sex positive movement. before this people only had heterosexual sex, married, under the covers at on Thursday nights after 8pm.

2012? Only the early adopters!

Rufusthebewilderedreindeer · 21/09/2018 08:47

nothing

Thats got me thinking

If its so sexy then I imagine when you go out on your first date and have soup...that if you let it dribble all over your chin then you are a deffo for a second date!!

NothingOnTellyAgain · 21/09/2018 08:42

Additional point is that as young men and to an extent young women are taught how to "do sex" from porn, I am sure that there is an expectation that women copy what is common on the screen rather than doing what feels comfortable for them.

Hence this beer mat being described as "grooming".

NothingOnTellyAgain · 21/09/2018 08:39

"I mean one it is something people especially young people do. Two men do it too. I think people are just looking for something to be mad about. Newsflash people bj are a thing."

This is interesting as it's just such patent bollocks, I mean the mental contortions people go through to excuse all sorts of stuff just continues to amaze me.

I'm guessing lots of women on here have dished out a BJ or 2 in their lives, and may well still do, even the ones amongst us who are no longer young Grin (the unthinking agism is constant, isn't it?)

So, the standard practice, and while I've not taken a survey I'm fairly confident, is to get rid of the semen pretty quick. Hence "spit or swallow" as in fact acknowledged on the card. How many women OUTSIDE of porn films hang around with gobbets of come dribbling down their chin, onto their bedding, possibly the carpet, certainly it will need wiping away with... your hand? is there a come rag ready and waiting (yerk) or grab a handy sock or....

Now while this imagery is ubiquitous in porn >> because teh COCK and the COME are the most important things in the world and women love to WORSHIP and enjoy having semen just bloody everywhere >> in the real world, most of the time, the answer is SPIT OR SWALLOW as per the card.

So this is not a "sex positive" image bigging up healthy consensual female sexuality. It is what anyone on the planet can tell by taking one look >> a nod to pornography made with men in mind.

Women ain real life are not really that interested in semen as a substance. I'd rather have a cup of tea than a mouthfull of come, to bring back an 80s quote. Lots of women enjoy giving their partners pleasure though, and BJ fulfil that. The pleasure for women is not generally in a gobful of semen, which they then lurrrrrrrrvvvvvveeee to sit around with it running down their faces. Come worship is for men, it's a male fantasy about their precious powerful awesome life-juices or something.

So anyway, the idea this picture represents a joyful depiction of female sexuality and it's just a bunch of mad old prudes is ludicrous. And a theory put forward by men, obv.

They just don't know when to shut up and listen, do they.

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