Please or to access all these features

Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

This is wrong right?

642 replies

DukeOfSussex · 18/09/2018 19:31

If your teenage daughter had her first week at the University of Sussex this week this is what found in her welcome bag.

A Pot Noodle, A tablet of washing detergent, a sim card and an individual sized portion of instant coffee.

AND

A picture of a woman designed to look like she has spunk dripping down her face to sell toothbrushes. "whether you spit or swallow during your twice daily oral regime..."

She'll also find a drinks night event by the Student union being advertised all over campus. It has a picture of a dead eyed half naked woman laying in an empty bath...which advertises what? Fuck knows.

She will also find a copy of the student newspaper in her bag. On the front cover at the very top of the page is an article entitled "Transphobia and toilets". This is discussing the recent words of University of Sussex philosophy professor Kathleen Stock who dared to very (politely) question some aspects of trans theory.

Your daughter, if disabled, will also be concerned to see that some of the disabled toilets have been declared "for all genders". Which is lovely and inclusive but not ideal if you're disabled and need a wee and need to wait for an able bodied non binary male wearing lipstick to go for a shit first.

She will find that the "This Sussex Girl Can" all women only classes are open to all "women, trans gender people and non binary individuals" so just mixed classes basically .

So far so expected of university in general but what upsets me is that people wanted Kathleen Stock's job for having an opinion. She caused students to feel "unsafe" with her very words, but in a world where women are literally unsafe and sexual assault is endemic in universities, Sussex student union didn't think twice before objectifying its female students. If your employer gave you a goody bag with this card in it you could rightfully be making a formal complaint to your HR department. Why is it appropriate for university?

We can't discuss why it's always a woman advertising drinks, or toothbrushes without discussing women and the group of people who actually deal with the real repercussions of being women. It's a bloody joke.Why don't people care about actual sexism, real life objectification of women.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
Bowlofbabelfish · 19/09/2018 20:03

bantz.

Ah yes... the bantz.

Banter is shorthand for; ‘I’m about to say something incredibly grim, probably sexist and it’s going to make you very uncomfortable. But if you react to it, or take me up on it I’m going to accuse you of being uptight/frigid.’

Its a truth universally acknowledged that anyone using the term ‘banter’ as an excuse is a weapons grade arsehole. It’s a deflection tool, used by tools.

TheBeatGoesOnandOn · 19/09/2018 20:01

Disgusting.

I hope they have something like this next year captioned with:

make sure you only put the best of things in your mouth. Always aim for a balanced diet and a dashing naked man on your sofa.

This is wrong right?
pombear · 19/09/2018 19:55

I sense-checked this with someone of the right uni age and a female this evening. Didn't say anything, no context, just showed her the beermat pictures.

Her jaw dropped.

I know this is a survey of one, but I don't think we're out of step here in flagging that women know what this is saying and what it represents.

This isn't a generational thing. It's a woman thing - I am concerned that in the current climate that our fellow women of a younger age have less tools available to them to be able to say why this is so wrong. Not because they're inarticulate, but because they're boxed in by queer/kink/identity/third-wave feminism/backwards slide towards the 70's/porn culture.

It's shit.

Dig In/Brushwhatever you are. Stop digging your hole, dig back out. Support women. Admit that was a crap move and redeem yourselves.

Women don't deserve to be reduced to a half-face that both imitates porn images and signifies a passive receptacle of jizz.

RadicalFern · 19/09/2018 19:46

I had no idea that disabled is a gender now...

NothingOnTellyAgain · 19/09/2018 19:01

I think that as ever the main problem is

That men > and it is men who come up with these hilarious ads > don't have any clue about how they land with women and girls. And, when they are told, they usually don't care.

I was a pretty "cool girl" at school and uni and laughed along with the "bantz" from the boys but, I often didn't feel entirely comfortable but I couldn't quite say why. If your friends find something funny then you want to laugh along, really, and what are the alternative options? Say something, but what? I didn't really have the language back then to articulate what made me uncomfortable. And on the occasions I did say that's not funny, it's not like they all go oh shit you're right we will change our ways Grin all you do is look po-faced and they carry on anyway.

Strangely I was always actively pissed off about street harrassment right from the get-go. I never felt complimented or wondered what I had done wrong - I correctly identified that they were arseholes and what they were doing was shit and it was not personal. With boys in my friendship groups though when the talk / jokes were of things that were objectifying / demeaning, I found it harder to identify and just felt a bit like I didn't like it, I didn't know why really, but that was how things were and go along with it or stop being friends with them.

The reason I say this is there is an age and experience thing going on. The same dynamic is going on.They wouldn't make these and aim them at adult women. Same as men who carry out street harrassment tend to focus heavily on age range puberty > early 20s and then it starts to die down gradually. Younger girls and women don't know how to react, they try to laugh along, they rarely say fuck this shit. But it is true that this imagery and message will have made a lot of girls feel pretty uncomfortable, they won't know what to do with that feeling though.

And of course it will add on to the years most of them will have had of being randomly reminded when they're minding their own business doing whatever, that their primary purpose is for men to fuck.

Men > like the ones who made this leaflet > they don't care about that though. They say hahaha it's bantz and see it as one little thing why not ignore it, willfully ignorant of the fact that lots of girls will have been advised that their purpose is to suck cock / show their tits / get in the car / what the fuck ever since they were at secondary school.

What a thing to be reminded of totally at random with something that is supposed to be a present in your first week of university.

I'm sure most of the male students found it pretty funny / clever >> but they're not going to buy this are they? Do any of you know any male students who would have subscribed to a tootbrush delivery service? Grin

The advert is incomprehensible if it's aimed mainly at a female market TBH. Which I'm sure it is.

BabyTeeth · 19/09/2018 18:32

Flowers Materialist I’m so sorry to hear what happened to your daughter.

RichardLongcross · 19/09/2018 18:28

Poor choice of words there ^ Blush

RichardLongcross · 19/09/2018 18:26

I'll be sure to let my dentist know that circulating objectifying and derogatory images of women improve oral health and ask her why she hasn't gone down this route before.

ErrolTheDragon · 19/09/2018 18:22

Thistle - my DDs there doing a STEM degree, and it sounds like the majority manage a good work-life balance and civilised friendships. The same almost certainly applies at most unis. I have seen evidence a couple of years ago that 'laddish' (to put it mildly) behaviour is less bad on courses and in unis with more male than female students - I suppose they know they need to behave to be in with a chance.

However, that in no way means it's ok to put sexist crap in 'welcome' packs.

ToeToToe · 19/09/2018 18:22

It has made me think of this though.

This is wrong right?
NameChangedAgain18 · 19/09/2018 18:21

Materialist - I’m so sorry for your daughter Flowers And also sorry to say that you aren’t the first parent I’ve seen on here whose daughter has been raped at university. It’s horrific that it happens in the first place, but the cover ups by universities are another crime and must add significantly to the trauma.

Charliethefeminist · 19/09/2018 18:21

Materialist, I'm so sorry, and I wish your daughter happiness, and here's to her future.

NameChangedAgain18 · 19/09/2018 18:17

Is there any way of finding out which other universities these boxes are being given out at? Specifically, the brush box ad?

Materialist · 19/09/2018 18:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NothingOnTellyAgain · 19/09/2018 18:04

"That page on "initiations" on the Dig in website is no longer available. They're watching.."

Oh wow well good I suppose but WTAF was it even doing there in the first place?

disorganisedXX · 19/09/2018 17:45

sorry for the derail

disorganisedXX · 19/09/2018 17:44

And this really shook me up for the rest of the day so Dig in or Brushbox if you are reading this get a fucking grip.

MANNERS MAKETH THE MAN.

Stop hate mongering.

AsAProfessionalFekko · 19/09/2018 17:43

I'dve taken a photo and sent it to the local college. Probably wouldn't have done any good but it would make me feel better.

ThistleAmore · 19/09/2018 17:42

I left university about 15 years ago, and while I loved it, I'm very worried about my niece, who's hoping to go to Cambridge in a few years' time.

She's hoping to study a STEM subject, so hopefully perhaps a little removed, but I still worry about this pervasive misogyny that seems to have crept in.

disorganisedXX · 19/09/2018 17:42

Yesterday I was driving through a busy uni city and stopped with a cyclist in front of me back from a pelican crossing to let folk cross. There was a group of young male students crossing where my car was slowing to stop (so 5m south of the crossing).

They decided I was stopping to inconvenience them ( not to give a cyclist safe space! ), they had to walk around my car and split around it kicking and banging it as they went. I had my 7yo with me who was obviously frightened.

This was a busy street in the middle of the afternoon and I could not get my head around the casual violence and aggression from lads who were clearly newcomers (backpacks in student zone) to a woman and child in a car doing nothing but stop with traffic.

This pack is showing me where the wee shitbags get their appalling attitudes from.

BabyTeeth · 19/09/2018 17:35

Yes, they’re watching. They’ll be wondering what the best thing is to do. If I were Dig in, I’d apologise and recognise the mistakes made, issue a supportive statement about sexual violence on campus, and then align themselves with it as an issue they care about, as they have done previously with mental health. Brushbox just need to apologise for a (hopefully) one-off branding fail and make a mental note to avoid sexualising women to sell toothbrushes in future.

Naturally they will do none of these things as that would mean giving up their male rights to exploit women for profit.

disorganisedXX · 19/09/2018 17:35

Welcome to the grown up real word of uni where you should accept this handy education intro pack inviting you to denigrate women, anyone with a disability and those who are here to learn. It's ok if you disagree as long as you enjoy having NO FRIENDS. Included in handy pack;

misogynistic blow job 'jokes' - just having a laugh

sobriety equals nae mates - just having a laugh

disablist inclusion zones - anything goes - just having a laugh

So remember kids pick on the women and disableds cos it's fun and nobody cares as you can see from this handy info pack Grin

AngryAngryAngryAngryAngryAngryAngryAngryAngryAngry

BiologyMatters · 19/09/2018 17:30

Incidentally I overheard someone at work saying his niece who started at the uni in question on Sunday was given various drinks vouchers for local bars and clubs as a welcome thing, and she's been out and got rat arsed to the point of paralytic every night this week. If that's the current uni culture you can fucking keep it.

wotsit99 · 19/09/2018 17:29

My friend went to Sussex uni 9 years ago. Brimming with drugs.... She rarely spent a night not off her trolley on somsthing. Very LGBT focused. (Think Brighton generally is a LGBT Party scene etc)

SunsetBeetch · 19/09/2018 17:23

That page on "initiations" on the Dig in website is no longer available. They're watching...

Swipe left for the next trending thread