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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Butlins. Single sex toilets. and baby changes

33 replies

ButlinsCanbuggeroff · 13/09/2018 07:09

Staying at Butlins during their mid term toddler weeks. The main area has one set of toilets, they have all been labelled womens and mens, and they all have a "baby change" logo next to them.

There are obviously hundreds of families with mothers and fathers and almost all of the children are still nappy age.

Walk in to the women's bathroom which is literally next door to the men's and see a man using the changing area to change his baby. There is a wall of full baby change units like you have in a home nursery and I assume one-drop down in the disabled toilet.

I ask him why he isn't using the men's area, and he says it's because he is "helping his pregnant wife". I tell him he can "help" her in the men's room. He says OK and starts to leave at this point the cleaner has a go at me and tells me that actually, the only provision for men is in the men's disabled cubicle at the back of the men's toilets and that men are welcome to use the women's toilets to change their baby for that reason.

So I walk out and across the tent to ask why in 2018, in a place specifically designed for children, during their specifically most baby-friendly time they haven't got a provision for men to change their babies. I tell the woman what happened and I'm again questioned as to why I asked the man to leave the women's toilets. I said because he was in the women's toilets and as they were labelled as all baby change friendly I thought he should go to the men's room next door. the woman says he has every right to change there and I asked if they have a policy of single sex toilets or not? She says of course they do but men can only see the sinks and not in to the individual cubicles so she doesn't see the issue. She is looking at me like I'm slightly mad. I explained that sometimes if you've been puked on or if you're changing a child who has had an accident you might need to use the main area and sinks which are meant to be private. And that families with three children can't actually fit in to the cubicle.

I said, does she not think it's weird that in 2018 Butlins a child friendly resort doesn't think able-bodied men need to change their babies? She said it was because the building was 50 years old. Which while true, doesn't really cut it as the bathrooms and whole place have clearly been updated in the past 50 years and the 3 changing tables at the front of the women's toilets are stand alone anyway. The woman admits that actually yes, it probably is a bit "discriminatory towards men" Hmm

So basically my issue is that able bodied men with children who far outnumber disabled men with babies have the option of taking up a disabled cubicle or going in to the women's area. And that again, women are made to feel stupid for asking a strange man to kindly get out?

And why don't organizations like F4J fight for more changing rooms in toilets so they can do diapers instead of poor cereal on floors?Hmm

OP posts:
Lichtie · 13/09/2018 08:40

I've googled the statistics on men using baby's to access spaces and then committing sexual assault whilst changing a nappy.... Couldn't find anything?

WRachelC · 13/09/2018 08:35

I'm sure I don't seem to speak for the majority of people on mumsnet but I'm sick of posts about men using toilets, let's just make them all unisex already and be done with it!

This! Thank you.

Rufustheyawningreindeer · 13/09/2018 08:27

Oh gosh obviously i meanst shouldn't

Doh!!

But i see you understood what i meant

ButlinsCanbuggeroff · 13/09/2018 08:26

If the mens has a baby change it should not be in the disabled bit and they shoukd be bloody 'free' to waltz into the womans

That's what I thought, but I guess I was wrong!

There ought to be proper provision for baby changing in both toilet areas, but I couldn't get this worked up about a man changing a baby, or ask them to move mid-change!

Wouldn't you think it was weird if a man appeared to be in the women's toilets if there was perfectly adequate men's provisions next door because that what's the sign indicated so that's why i assumed it.

Maybe his pregnant wife was using the toilets?
I don't understand? Why is that relevant?

I'm sure I don't seem to speak for the majority of people on mumsnet but I'm sick of posts about men using toilets, let's just make them all unisex already and be done with it!

90% of sexual assaults happen in unisex toilets thanks. Despite making up a fraction of toilets. Google it. Not to mention that some religious women and some assaults survivors will basically be barred form toilets.

If it’s Bognor Regis they are in the process of building brand new swimming pool facilities in a new building

It is but this isn't in the swimming area just the normal main bit near the stage.

OP posts:
Juells · 13/09/2018 08:24

I'm sure I don't seem to speak for the majority of people on mumsnet but I'm sick of posts about men using toilets, let's just make them all unisex already and be done with it!

Who made you the boss of the rest of us?

lovemylot1 · 13/09/2018 08:15

If it’s Bognor Regis they are in the process of building brand new swimming pool facilities in a new building

Version2point0 · 13/09/2018 08:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rufustheyawningreindeer · 13/09/2018 07:55

You are completely and utterly right

Its a dreadful state of affairs

If the mens has a baby change it should not be in the disabled bit and they shoukd be bloody 'free' to waltz into the womans

No idea what pregnant lady was thinking of

And the cleaner was bang out of order

It did hapoen to me in france...but i thought it might be a bit of a french thing so didnt say anything