Razor blades and stickers again

Wish I had the magic power that the tweeter who said they were razored had. That person needs to offer themselves up to medicine for miraculous healing ability

However, I think we've uncovered DickTERFin super-healing secret:
bear trap underneath. Took my whole arm off. Didn't half fucking smart.

Miraculously the medics were able to sew it back on and I'm a super healer,

Ben Goldacre wrote up the pixie dust that accelerates healing and helps body parts to regrow: The amazing disappearing, reappearing finger

Made from dried pig’s bladder,” they explained, this magic powder “kick-starts the body’s healing process.

Rotary cutter slipped.
That is all I am going to say about that.

I think you're a load of wimps.

True, the first one I encountered had a division of the Scots guards behind it, but I soon took care of them . To remove the next, I had to suspend myself, Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible style, from a wire with loads of booby traps everywhere.

Finally, I wrestled sharks with fricking laser beams on their heads while not spilling a drop of my vodka martini in order to thwart my evil nemesis Dr of Actual Science. Oh, and there was a scary woman - Rosa. My mate Jamesima (dead name James) Bond said she thought Rosa was probably a lesbian because of the shoes but as she didn't (weirdly) fancy James - sorry Jamesima - at all, that can't be right... Because James is a proper lesbian these days. There's a YouTube channel and everything...

I started souring the milk, left the bottle out in the hall

no death threats though.

I cut my finger on a razor blade recently. (do not lookfor them by touch in the dark) fecking hurt.

I think we're all underestimating how bloody debilitating a paper cut can be. I've been through days and days of labour, passed kidney stones and my pelvis actually came apart and I've been able to carry on, but a papercut can have me on my back for weeks.

Have they remembered cork board pins can double as lethal weapons yet? After all, there are flyers as well as stickers.

It is NOT fake news.

I tried to take one off yesterday and there was a bear trap underneath. Took my whole arm off. Didn't half fucking smart.

Miraculously the medics were able to sew it back on and I'm a super healer, so you can barely see the marks plus the bear trap was conjured by the Lady Melisandre from GOT and unfortunately it dissolved into smoke before I could get a photo of it but you better believe them bad-ass, witchy MoFo feminists are setting traps on a global scale.

True story.

Ooh. Wonder if it works on cheap shoe labels?

Had a quick chat with a lovely man on the ticket gates-he confirmed that the Transport Police attended yesterday evening ‘looking for anti LGBT stickers’ in the toilets. Not only were there no razor blades but they didn’t find any ‘anti LGBT stickers’ at all - all toilets were checked, men’s, women’s, disabled and staff.

Fake news.

Olive oil. On jam labels. It really works.

Love the comments under Evidence Based's link. TRAs don't do humour, or irony. Just "brave and stunning"and totally self obsessed and permanently offended.

Those are gold!

Evidencebased - hilarious thread Thank you.

Could one of the pieces of under sticker advice be "dress your age", or would that be too harsh?

Sometimes there is no better place than Twitter

8bit meme, should have done it without the text...

Not pressing that link now youve said that

I wonder if some of us are being a bit lighthearted, given some of the stuff that’s been found behind stickers....
twitter.com/IreneHandmaiden/status/1037724995710083074?s=20

But that's what makes them real women: good at multitasking, impervious to pain, and never leaving the house without a full complement of cleaning products.

Betty you've ruined it now, fancy confirming there were no stickers. I'll have to go back to the serious threads.
What would I hide under the stickers? Dead spiders. That'd put people off.

for so many of you!

And hooray for tiny tool shed (tool box?)

I think my brother likes to write scary messages in reddish brown (old blood colour) paint under wallpaper.

I think this is much more fun than razor blades, cheaper too!

Although the ironing clothes while wearing them could result in a nasty burn. As if anyone could be that stupid obvs whistles and looks nonchalant, not me, no sirree

Ooh chow exciting - they won't know whether it's bad advice or good advice!!

How about "lemon juice is good to clean limestone garden furniture"
"Make and freeze Marguerite's in case of an unexpected cocktail party"
"Don't eat eggs, beans and chips before a yoga class"

I found a signature and a date under some wallpaper. 1952. Took a photo before I painted over it 😂

I like the idea of life-advice under stickers,

‘Eat vegetables’
‘Do squats’
‘Don’t waste time on boys who make you cry’