Had a discussion with DH (which turned into a bit of an argument) where I was saying I was interested in the idea I heard that for women there is no ‘neutral’ outfit that won’t be judged in the workplace one way or another, whereas for men it’s pretty simple in most settings – suit = professional, casual = not trying enough/low status (unless it’s somewhere very casual). He got annoyed because he felt that he saw women wearing what they like at his workplace, whereas guys had to wear suits and the lack of choice pissed him off. I didn’t feel it worth replying that yes, lack of choice/expression for men is an annoyance, but it’s nothing like as bad as having your whole competence sometimes questioned on a small detail of your outfit as can happen with women.
Ask 50 people what they think about the likely work performance of a guy in a dark suit with a sober tie and probably all of them will say ‘He looks professional’ – ask them to comment on a woman in a suit and you’ll probably get a multitude of replies that might question whether she looks ‘distracting’, ‘frumpy’, ‘high maintenance’, ‘low self-worth’, ‘wallflower’ etc depending on some small variances. Yes, women in DH’s office may seem to ‘get away’ with more in what they wear in terms of not being disciplined for it, but maybe more of them are being judged unprofessional, unambitious, flirty etc because of their choices. Whereas men can know where they stand with what they wear, even if it's annoying that it's so limited.
DH suggested that surely ‘neutral’ for a woman would be a dark suit, white shirt and mid heel – I pointed out some people would declare that frumpy, anonymous, low-status, dull, that a woman who dressed like that was undynamic and unambitious. He really did not get it!
So yes, dress expectations for men are irritating, but they are pretty unambiguous and tend not to have serious outcomes, whereas women will always be judged and often taken significantly less seriously on tiny, everyday details of ordinary clothes in a way that will never happen to men unless they happen to be unusually flamboyant.